Reply To: Resistance
Hi Elaine –
My initial reaction to the words you've posted is RESISTANCE… since you have been making progress with PSTEC, the feeling of 'not wanting to do it' — is your subconscious mind putting on the brakes. The subconscious mind is not interested in change… but — it can most definitely be worked through.
I find that when i think that now would be a perfect time to sit down and do the audio, i mentally run away from it, put it aside and do something else instead.
— this is just a little avoidance tactic that gets triggered for many people. It reminds me of when I had academic exams or a paper to write — it was only then that I was able to clean my room and do all those other things I had been avoiding. I didn't have pstec back in the day — the only way I got it done was to sit down and hunker down.
I think the feeling of being so alone is the major factor here, and as i said, when i'm actually in the middle of the audio that feeling comes through strongly and feels so deep rooted —- i don't know where to start with it.
Have you tried doing CT for just this feeling of being alone? When the feeling comes through strongly — go with it — CT THAT feeling that feels strong and deeply rooted.
And i think i have a deep seated belief that this can't possibly work for me anyway, so why bother with it. I know this sounds crazy when it has actually created great changes in me, but i'm sort of convinced this is just a fluke, or an illusion or that its done as much as it will ever do for me.
So, this resistance & questioning — this 'change' can't really be from this clicking and tapping can it???????? These thoughts are actually a quite common experience for people who start to feel a change. It is funny how we second guess our efforts and when we feel something is working we — FEAR the change that we actually desire — does that make sense?
Especially as i can come up with hundreds of negative events in my life, but can't feel any emotion relating to them.
Please think of 1 specific negative event from your life — write down as much detail as you can from the moment the memory starts to where it ends —- how would you describe what happens for you when you think about the details of this negative event????
I feel that i'm just no good at this, as with many other things, so i might as well give it up as a bad job!
So can you think of other times in your life when attempting to do something new where you have felt like — “I'm just no good at this”???????? It would be a good idea to write down as many of these kind of memories as you can — and try to go back as far as you can to THE FIRST TIME you felt this — just not good at it feeling.
I gave Elaine the example that I had to work with. My brother is 5 years older than me and as a child I did not understand what 5 years — developmentally — meant. As a child I could not understand why I was not as good at or as fast at things as my brother. So — I was extra hard on myself all the time because I was never as good at anything as my brother, I wanted to be and I could never understand why I wasn't as good… usually, I would GIVE UP on trying.
In my adult life I find practicing a skill you want to be good at — is necessary in mastering any skill. LOTS of practice. This Click Tracking — well I am not positive that it was 'made to be fun' — but — we can make it a whole lot more FUN and a lot less daunting if we just show up to practice… and see what comes out of skill building. My personal belief is you cannot do helping yourself work WRONG & that you can only hone your skills by consistently showing up to practice. Don't make me say practice makes _________ …… but it does!!!!!!
despite everything i've said, i'm determined not to give up just yet. AWESOME!!!! Keep showing up — keep doing the work.
The forum is filled with lots of Q's & A's from people who have been using pstec. I would type in key words that apply to your situation —- resistance, procrastination —-> into the search area and read through similar experiences to your own — there are some great discussions already in place.
Please update us with your progress — Meghan