Reply To: Which product should I buy?
Please bear with me – do excuse the length of this post, its part catharsis, psychological journaling, an effort to help others if possible and a call to action
An interesting week:
Last week I visited an EFT practitioner and she was instrumental in identifying an even in my past that I had forgotten. I was circa 7 years old it was sports day. I was the top athlete in my lower school and after a whole year of bullying, physical beating and racial abuse it was my turn. I was loving it until the 4×100 on the last leg which I was to run…(no-one could possibly catch me) on getting the baton…(smiling to myself as I knew we would win) I pulled a muscle. Excruciating pain but I don't quit and finish my leg. At the end of sports day everyone goes home for a week except me as I was confined to the infirmary. I begged/pleaded for my mum to take me home but she couldn't the nurses wouldn't let her take me. I can still see the car driving away.. Thats was a long tearful and lonely week. At the end of which I was angry at everyone. I felt unloved and betrayed.
Its a cycle I've since learned I've repeated throughout my life..every time I go for something there is self sabotage stops me cold. Its lead to an overbearing sadness that I carry with me all day. Why go for something…its bound not to happen, I'll never get there…I never get what I want, its pointless..but I still try, treading water not going forward not going backwards just there!!
My EFT coach gave me homework which required me to 'forgive myself'. It was powerful as I had an emotional release in our session. I tried some experimenting and used 'I forgive myself' with the click tracks and throughout the 3 sessions I did I was in floods of tears. Really powerful stuff which scared me a little to say the least..but I continued. I felt some shifts but the effects weren't as great as I had expected at the time.
However a few days later…I broke up with my ex properly ( we had still being seeing each other but were getting into the destructive phase). I thought I was cooler than that so I was a bit shocked by my response. That was monday…tuesday-wednesday were rough I couldn't really get her out of my head despite the advice. One if not two feet in the past I think. But by thursday things started to change. I had started to get messages from my subconscious on aspects to tap but it wasnt about my ex oddly enough.
Last night I put it into action..this time doing exactly what was written on the tin…no deviation no change and the effects of diligently following Tim's advice is profound. Especially the advice he gives somewhere to do a round on allowing the subconscious to tell me everything I need to know…You've said it often yourself Jeff…I was getting it but reading the wrong messages Events from my childhood long forgotten are popping up which took priority. where i had been getting 3's or 4's on the scale I was getting 10's repeatedly on things I had forgotten
So I did a few rounds on some of the things and then turned to my ex. For the first time in 8 months I have had a 24 hours without obsession. I know its only 24 hours but the change is astounding…but what gives me strength for the future is knowing how to deal with the problem. I have tools to address the issue and an ally who wants to help. My target was guilt…carrying so much guilt. I know now why my results with PSTEC had been partial…I was targeting the wrong issues. I was locked in the past of my creation inside my head. Its not so much a conscious decision..things I thought I wanted but more a sub-concious direction on what I needed if that makes sense. I have a new list now..that changes as the intentions are passed to me… I feel a greater sense of ability to effect change as I am not swimming against the tide.
I've also had this pain in my left pectoral for about 2 weeks now and its felt like a pinched nerve. At times its dormant but when I go to sleep it can be excruciating. I have medication but it does very little. When I started to do this new round of clicking…the pain would actually intensify till it was so bad I would stop and then it would dissipate mostly. I was at times shouting at it to stop but as I wanted to change so much…but I guessed it was just that old learnt response trying to protect me. As everytime I started clicking again it would come back. two nights ago I quit 3-4 mins in. Yesterday I didn't and the pain has lessened and now moved from my pectoral to buzzing in my left elbow..very very odd!!!
Again sorry about the length of this but I still have a few questions:
1/ is this normal for pain/emotion to manifest in this way? How best to address it or should I just continue to do the change work and let if finds its own route to removal?
2/ I love my ex, I would to hold onto a belief that when the time is right we will be together or should i just let it all go… if its to be it will be? ( i think i know the answer )
3/ What happens if you have two concurrent goals? I have a goal of establishing up my own business and of getting a career with a x8 salary jump to fund my business in the short to medium term. Which should I target the business or the salary as my primary goal ( my business is my passion and JEEP). I am assuming here that having two goals will be confusing to the subconscious.
4/ visualisations. Can I use pstec+ to enhance/strenthen my visualisations to intensify my ability to manifest my goals?
PS: I have created a little excel spreadsheet for all my emotions/memories that need work. Its very very basic but it has given me a format that I can come back to reuse, a history on things worked on and a means to track/retest and maintain status updates. If anyone wants a copy I can post it in the forum.
THX again for your patience!!!