Reply To: HELP This isuse seems pretty big to me and I don’t know if I am doing it right.
Jeff HardingHi E!
One of the approach issues you are having is that you are dealing with the issue of the moment and not necessarily getting the cause or source of your painful experiences because here are a couple conclusions from what you wrote:
- You are desiring someone that rejects you.
- You are feeling that she is “the one” and you have little chance with someone else.
- You are looking to 'be done with this.' I mention this because it is quite common where we want to be done and go for a perceived quick fix so to speak' and this keeps us from identifying or visiting the source or cause of these conclusions which, most times, emanate from our early life… painful emotions and all.
[/list]Practical…
It's difficult through an email, but here are some clues and directions to go…
- “I was never popular enough to date in high school.”
How does that make you feel?
How do you know this… what were your experiences back then that validate
this?
Look for experiences of rejection.List the various experiences/memories back then and before… then clear the emotions with those memories, one at a time. Start with the most intense ones and, quite often, it will ease the clearing of the other “lesser” ones.
Once emotions are clear or quite low, look to use PSTEC Positive to establish new beliefs about your school days and your future in relationships.
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- “The first girl I dated out of high school was emotionally too much for me to handle and I would almost describe it as a ptsd type of situation.” … and… “I was completely in love with her but after several years she decided to become a stripper She said no and you can't save people.”… and … “You'd rather be with a guy who beat you than with me.”
Click Track the most intense events with her until you feel quite neutral about her and about any further desire to be with her… you know, you have a “take it or leave” it thought about being in a relationship with her.
If you still have anger or judgment about her (both indications that you are still attached to her mentally), then keep moving on this and opening up more and more to the past memories that keep you attached to her.
When you work on memories with her, look for other memories coming up and occurred prior to ever meeting her… like when you focus on a feeling ask yourself, “When did I feel that before her?”… and … “When was the first time I remember feeling that way in my life?”
You add those memories that come up to your List and keep clearing with the Click Tracks.
[/list]If you are a bit stuck, consider the PSTEC Accelerators to help the recall and memories and feelings related to these issues.
If you are reeeeeeeeealy stuck, consider chatting with a practitioner from the PSTEC Registry that can help you sort this out.
Aloha!
Jeff