Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection
Oh yes, I've been clearing out things before working with the positive. I know in some of the interviews and tutorial audios that if you don't clear out the negative stuff first, it'll be much more difficult to get the positive feelings to stick.
I was feeling pretty overwhelmed these past couple of days. I've been tapping on a few issues, some larger than others some smaller than others, and I'm having trouble dropping my SUDs level on feelings down below a 3.
And although I haven't been able to drop some of my SUDs levels below a 3, I still feel much happier right now than I did a couple of days ago.
I do feel like I'm having a bit of resistance about this process. I'm finding that my subconcious mind model seems to be a model of primarily fear. I was keeping a text file on my laptop of old memories and more recent experiences that I felt like I should CT on, and a lot of the memories had fear as being the most intense emotion associated with them. I believe I can trace that back to the experiences I had with my family, there was TONS of arguing between my parents as a child that would sometimes get violent, so my home wasn't a place of comfort but a very scary place to be.
I'm sure as I do some more CT sessions and take my time, I'll be able to get my SUDs levels below a 3. Even getting them that low is great though.