Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection
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I figured I'd make another post about something I CTed tonight. I was feeling fear of being emotionally intimate with my current boyfriend and I searched around to find an incident that was highly charged that would be connected to my fear of sharing my feelings with him.
The most powerfully charged incident was with my previous ex-boyfriend. Specifically there was an incident when I was doing laundry in my apartment building, someone had used up all the washers and dryers. I was pretty frustrated about it since the laundry room is shared and we all need to be considerate of others in the building. I came back upstairs and he asked me what was wrong, so I told him… And suddenly he was arguing with me, saying that they must have children so they should be given priority over everyone else. He also said I was being overly emotional. My work schedule gives me limited time to do things like laundry so I was frustrated and I felt like he was willing to take a stranger's side over mine. I felt like he would not support me in larger issues and no longer felt comfortable sharing anything that might be taken as “whining”, and I felt fearful. I know this incident wasn't the first time I began to feel like he would take a strangers side over mine. Actually I think it may have been the third or the fourth time, but I felt like this one had the most powerful emotional associated with it.
I CTed at the memory and the fear and it went down to a 1. I feel much more calm now too.