Reply To: We Live In the Light of Reflected Action – Freedom from Being Stuck in Life
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Great stuff, Brian.
I always appreciate your insights and how you have spotted so many patterns in your life. There are no coincidences here.
Sorry to hijack the thread!
So much does go back to early childhood experiences. Most parents do their best, but we are “meaning-makers.” As kids, we did not have the life experience to truly make sense of our lives, so were guided by parents, caregivers and peers.
If parents are overly critical, kids will likely form certain beliefs about the world and have a conditioned fear of criticism. If parents only praise when kids are achieving, beliefs like “what makes me good enough is achieving” are formed.
If parents are constantly working, and not paying attention to their kids, kids may likely conclude “I don't matter”, “life is a struggle” and “I'm not important.”
As adults, we can rationalise these experiences, but it can be very worthwhile to look back to how you would have felt as a child.
Scott, for the issue of not yet achieving your money goals, you can CT all resentment for yourself. Notice WHAT you resent and CT it.
There is no inherent “truth” here. Movie stars with fame and vast fortunes can hate themselves and life, while people in extreme poverty can and do feel good about themselves and see the wonder in life.
You can also look back at how your parents treated money and the way they subtly (or not!) communicated about money.
Did these type of phrases crop up?
“Money doesn't grow on trees”, “You have to work hard for your money”, “rich people are greedy”, “there is never enough money”
You can put those into the past tense and “blast” them.
Also, you might want to consider what was happening when you were younger. Were your parents ever laid off, or did they ever come home from work seeming frustrated or even downbeat? Subtle communications.
What you hit on about your parents resenting others could be pivotal. If they ever criticised people who had money or who were getting promotions, you can work with that. If ever you want to do something and wonder “what would my parents think/say?”, you can CT that.
Let's say you planned to earn a certain amount of money or go for a certain career, and you hear your parents say something like “don't get ideas above your station”, CT that.
All the best,
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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