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- March 10, 2018 at 6:20 pm#22033TrumanPSTEC User
sometimes i stay in silence for lots of minutes when i am with a partner and i don't know what to talk about most of the time. i don't get curious about people most of the time and i just remain as an spectator. this could frame me as someone who's boring and i don't know what to do about it.
it's like i don't want to talk most of the time and i don't know how to share my interests or care about other people i am intimate with.March 11, 2018 at 3:16 pm#25812Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
Thanks for your post.
There are so many ways to resolve problems with PSTEC.
You could see if you can evoke the feelings you typically experience when you are silent around your partner. Perhaps it is an uncomfortable feeling of being judged, perhaps it is fear or awkwardness. It could be a mixture of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I would suggest meeting this “head-on.”
Imagine that everyone you met told you that you were boring. Imagine you had heard people you knew were saying this about you. Make that real and try hard to feel it as intensely as you can. Rate the feeling between 0-10 and run any of the Click Tracks.
Rate the feeling again after one play of the CT. If it is not yet a 0 or 1, play another one.
Mix up the tracks, if necessary. If you played CT2015, go to the EEF next…or vice versa.
You can also go in direct with this pattern and see if you have the following beliefs:
“I am boring”
“Everyone thinks I am boring”
“I have nothing interesting to say”
“People are not interested in what I have to say”
“If I say the wrong thing, people will think less of me”
“I'm not good enough”
Say each of these out loud, and check if they resonate at all – you can logically disagree with a belief that you actually hold. If they do, I would suggest coming up with at least a few counterexamples for each of these.
You may wish to consider how holding any of these beliefs would affect anyone who held them. What would they tend to do, not do, say or not say?
Then, you can eliminate these with either of the following:
Both of these work exceptionally well. Different instructions apply to each, of course, but they are highly effective.
Other beliefs may contribute to such a pattern. You can “tip the scales” with PSTEC Positive and PP Extra Power. I will let you know more about this in time.
For now, clearing this particular pattern might be the very best use of your focus.
Please let us know how you get on and, if you have any questions, we are here for you.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
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