Has anyone been able to cure blushing?
Forums › General Discussions and Specific Issues › General Anxiety…Social Anxiety… Panic Attacks…Agoraphobia › Has anyone been able to cure blushing?
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- December 3, 2014 at 5:38 pm#21705Speedlogic007PSTEC User
Wondering if anyone cured there blushing with pstec?
I still have the blushing, especially in public when socializing.
I'm doing affirmations, pstec ct, pstec positive,subliminal messages, eft on a daily basis.
If anybody has cured themselves, besides Tanya from Tim's tutorial, please let me know…
I am desperate, this fear of blushing is ruining my life…December 5, 2014 at 5:13 am#23922Troy ThomasonPSTEC User
Have you tried Cascade Release? I've used it for issues that I couldn't get rid of using the CT's but it worked like a charm!December 5, 2014 at 1:50 pm#23923Speedlogic007PSTEC User
Did you use Cascade for fear of blushing? That is my problem. I have ocd on that fear and I
cant seem to neutralize it.December 5, 2014 at 3:34 pm#23924Troy ThomasonPSTEC User
I used on something very similar to blushing: the feeling of being laughed at. I ran CR on it 2x and it's gone! I imagined giving a speech in front of my class and people laughing at me.July 28, 2016 at 11:25 am#23925SalexPSTEC User
it's been a while since your last post. I wondered if you noticed any progress with curing blushing?
I've been suffering from severe blushing for over 3 decades now. Whatever I tried so far didn't work as I would have hoped for.
Please share any new experience that you may have on this topic.
ThxJuly 28, 2016 at 2:58 pm#23926Peter BunyanPSTEC User
What have you tried so far? Any PSTEC products?
PeterJuly 30, 2016 at 11:01 am#23927SalexPSTEC User
Thanks for your question. Let me give you a bit of a background. I am an extreme blusher, which is accompanied with extreme sweating. My reaction is noticeable immediately. I blush in any of the following situations: when I'm criticized, when I'm in center of attention, in any other situation which I consider embarrassing, when speaking to attractive women, when addressing unknown people (eg. in the shop), even if someone makes risque jokes or if someone teases me… I lack self-confidence and have panic attacks whenever I need to do something for the first time (eg. new tasks at work).
I became aware of blushing symptoms sometimes in my early teenage years. I first started reading books (Freud, Jung and many contemporary self-help authors) trying to understand my condition. Over time, I had periods when my blushing seemed under control and was not so frequent. But it would then just come back stronger then previously. At the age of 31, I started with psychoanalysis which went on for 7-8 years with a few short interruptions. I stopped 6 years ago because I could not afford it any more and also it didn't bring desired results, although some improvements have been made. It seems that my therapist could not overcome my resistance. During that time, I was able to better understand my condition and possible reasons which are causing it but I did not manage to go beyond that and could not eliminate the blushing reaction. I realized that I suffer from fear of authority figures, lack of self-esteem, fear of making mistakes and thus looking stupid so that others will laugh at me, lack of self-confidence, I am very anxious when I need to meet new people…
Despite everything, I got married and got children and worked in a managerial position for 13 years. Although I was fairly successful in that position, I was under constant stress as I had to liaise with clients on a daily basis. Many epic blushing occurred during meetings which even made clients uncomfortable.
A few years after stopping with the couch therapy, I tried hypnotherapy and went through 10-15 sessions, also with limited results. I still occasionally listen to recorded hypnosis, which does help me to reduce stress and sleep better, but still no effect on reducing blushing.
Last year I have migrated to another country and my situation exacerbated as I was out of my comfort zone in a completely new environment. I only managed to find employment in a very junior position, which additionally undermined my confidence and my blushing went worse than ever. So I started with 'Overcoming social anxiety' program and got stuck after about 2/3 through it, only to realize that the program offers different techniques to keep anxiety under control, but it does not eliminate the root of the problem.
About a year ago, I discovered the interview with Tanya & Jeff and started experimenting with Free Click Tracks. I used them intensively for about a month. It seemed that I had made some improvements, so I purchased PSTEC for blushing tutorial and then also Level 1. I continued with EEFs and positives for another month or so, only to realize that blushing was still there, with the same intensity. I was very discouraged to continue and I just gave up. And I recently received a newsletter from Tim/Jeff, so I came back to the Forum in hope to find some answers and with the idea of giving PSTEC another chance and starting once again. I feel I am struggling with my life and career as my blushing is holding me back. I have hope there must be a solution to my issues somewhere out there, I just haven't found it yet. Are you able to point me in the right direction?July 30, 2016 at 12:42 pm#23928Peter BunyanPSTEC User
Thanks fo being open and giving us some more information to work with.
My first point is that what you need to realise is that you are not aiming to, not blush. You are aiming to be confident enough in all situations that the blush does not occur. This is ineffect replacing the habit of blushing with a habit of not blushing, but not blushing is a negative which if you could suddenly stop would leave a vacuum, something your subconscious cannot accept. So more pushing out the old with something new.
Blushing is a reaction to situations, it is the physical side of a feeling or feelings. You react to the situation with feelings/emotions which show on the outside. This is often made worse by anticipating the reaction because it has happened that way so many times before, you sort of know you are going to and feel helplesss about it as well while it happens. Furthermore if any one notices or worse comments on this, it exacerbates the feelings. Have I got this about right?
Since the problem is underneath an emotional one, the first tool to use would be the Click Tracks and in this case the eefs. Apologies if you have already tried these things but as I do not know I may as well start from the beginning.
- Click Tracking any recent events that caused you to blush and any past particularly memorable occasions. The first ever if you can recall it.
- Click Tracking future imagined situations that you know would cause it to happen.
- Click Tracking that fear of authority figures. Parents Doctors teachers anyone who singled you out when young and possibly “told you off” in front of others particularly girls. Possibly any occasisions where you were “put down” by peers in front of others in a group. Situations where you were made to feel “small” or “stupid” usually in front of others particularly if it was unwarranted or unfair, not your fault.
- Click Tracking any feeling of desperation to get this “over with”.
- Click Tracking any fear that you will blush again soon.
[/list]Then we can move on to working the positive side of things as well. But how far have you got with some of the above?
PeterJuly 31, 2016 at 1:06 pm#23929Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
In addition to Peter's excellent post, I wanted to add a few “morsels”, as I experienced myself blushing quite a lot in my younger years. Blushing has sort of a loop-like effect: you do not want to blush and fear it, and this can actually intensify the blushing and the worry about blushing.
So, there are different layers to this and I appreciate you will already know this.
Firstly, as Peter has mentioned, I'd be pretty sure that the blushing itself is the SYMPTOM (in much the same way as a runny nose may be the symptom of a cold) you want to eliminate, but the cause is ultimately what you are targeting.
From a “hardware” point of view, it is said that there are remedies that can lessen or eliminate blushing. However,e I personally do not see a benefit in taking something (remedies) for the hardware, when your software (mind model) can be tweaked efficiently.
Insert…everything Peter suggested to tackle the issue you are experiencing.
Also, you might look at PSTEC Negative to work on some beliefs/assumptions about blushing, authority types and people in general. For one thing, not every person believes that blushing or showing nerves is a bad thing; some people find it quite endearing and will not be bothered by someone blushing.
The worry about blushing would seem to be linked to patterns of negative self-esteem, fear of the opinions of others and some perfectionism (a coping strategy for the aforementioned issues). Those can definitely be handled with the PSTEC tools, your persistence and really rooting out the source of the issues.
I could write much more about this topic with some more suggestions, but there is certainly enough in what Peter wrote to really get “stuck into” this issue and make significant strides.
Best of luck with it and please let everyone know how you get on.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…August 2, 2016 at 1:55 pm#23930SalexPSTEC User
Thanks again Peter for your help and apologies for long posts – I just feel that the more I can give you, the better you will be able to assist.
“My first point is that…”, I kind of understand what the message here is, but I'm not sure how to replace one with the other. The truth is that I blush far less in situations when I feel more confident, but the reality is that my confidence could also benefit from a big boost.
“Blushing is a reaction…”, yes, you got it exactly right, my reaction is actually very typical, as described in literature – I blush because I'm afraid I will blush and then others will think what not of me. But because it has been happening for decades, it's become extremely automatic. To give you an example, I could be having a conversation with someone and as long as I am focused on what's been talked about, I can get by… But if I lose focus for a blink of an eye and start focusing on the inside, I immediately have that flash-blushing thought which turns me into a sweaty beetroot. And I agree with Paul (thx for the post!) when he says that blushing is not perceived by many people as a bad thing, some even find it entertaining. Yes, my blushing will do no harm to them, but it is very harmful to me and that is what matters here. On an additional note, I rarely blush twice during the same conversation. And when I blush, I have a feeling of embarrassment, guilt and low-esteem, but on the other hand I feel relieved because I do not need to force myself to pretend to be 'normal' and to hide the beast, as it has already been released and the damage was done. Off course, when I think rationally, I know I'm normal, but the issue, as you know, comes from the sub-conscience. Therefore, I was also considering as an alternative to try out group therapy. Because I try to hide my blushing, I wondered if a public revelation in the group would make any improvement at all? It is relatively easy to write all this down, I wonder if I'd have the guts to speak about it publicly…
“Since the problem…”, when I discovered PSTEC last year, I first experimented with free CTs and then with EEFs. I believe that I used them for about 1.5-2 months with occasional 1-2 day breaks, mainly 2-3 sessions a day. I made a list of situations when I blushed and attempted to click track one by one away. Obviously I couldn't remember all blushing occasions during my long blusher career, so mainly situations which left deep scars made it to the list. I also imagined future situations (e.g. job interviews). What I found extremely difficult was to focus on how I felt in those uncomfortable situations. I could re-live that feeling at the beginning of the session but soon after the start I could not bring it back and all I could do is concentrate on tapping. By the end of the session the intensity of the feeling would really decrease to 0-2, or at least that's what I thought. The issue is that if I came back to that particular blushing situation after a day or two, I would feel uncomfortable yet again. To give another example, there is a female colleague in the office who would make me blush even for looking at me. She is not particularly attractive, but she is extremely confident, pretentious and arrogant at times. For some reason she makes me feel less worthy. I tried to tap that feeling away several times and although the numbers would go down to 2 after each session, when I saw the colleague the next morning, I would blush again. Why is that feeling coming back if it has been almost erased?
It may be that I am not using the tool in the correct way, but if you firmly believe that PSTEC can cure blushing, I am happy to give it another try. In that case I believe I should re-visit my list?
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