Liking or loving oneself.
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Paul McCabeGreat stuff, Plus1g Thank you.
I do appreciate what you mean about emotions, Rojaque. Sometimes people do not feel them profoundly, and this can be simply related to their neurology. Other times, beliefs can get in the way.
If you were discouraged from showing emotion when you were a child or noted it as a sign of weakness, this could get in the way. Beliefs like “it is dangerous/wrong to feel certain emotions” could stop these from coming up too. It does not mean they are not accessible – just that they are hidden, or suppressed.
So, you already sense you have an attachment to your ex. How do you know?
On some level, there must be a feeling or feelings that support this. Could it be a sense of loss or the fact you still love your ex (and have maybe rationalised it away)? Is it a feeling of need?
Work with that.
Think of the things you miss about the relationship. CT those feelings, if you feel you no longer want to have them.
With PSTEC, there is a certain degree of personal choice, and you do not have to CT everything that is “negative” if you believe having such a feeling COULD ultimately be positive. I know I do not CT every single thing that bothers me, as there are certain feelings I choose to retain at this time.
Think about no longer being with your ex or perhaps her meeting someone new. Check to see if these bring up any unwanted emotions and then CT as necessary.
You do not have to be in a state of distress for the CTs to work their magic. That is when you will notice the difference, of course, but they will still be working as long you follow the instructions and TRY to feel the emotions.
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Rowan HassonThank you Gents.
The underlying emotions behind the suffering i experience are obviously rooted in the past, so what tends to happen , for example when i get a sense of dread and sadness when i imagine my ex with someone new, then CT it, its not long until the very same feeling returns.
I have been trying to locate the beliefs behind the re-spawning of the problem emotions, and actually PN'd many many beliefs, although have not been able to let go of these pains yet.Each day i wake with a deep sadness, missing my loved ones, and so i go straight to the CT's and accelerators. This helps to clear what is there in that moment, only it returns again , either shortly afterwards or by the next day.
I accept that there are perhaps monolithic core beliefs behind these emotions, and that serious efforts need to be made-efforts im prepared to make.
I believe that the TP will arrive at some point.On another issue, looking at what helped lead to the breakdown to the relationship, OCD and obsessions about health (after battling through and recovering from severe health issues) became an imposition for my partner. I tend to repeat myself and try to control every aspect of my environment, not so much for myself but for everyone..even if they dont really care as i do.
Another issue that has lead to the breakdown has been an inability to outwardly express love and affection to my partner. Paul's comments highlighted some issues here. My mother was never very tactile with me, it has always been a pat on the back type of thing. old mate down the pub rather than loving hug for her son.
Also i believe that its likely that emotional trauma when young has created a type of armouring around my heart, related to trust/safety issues.
There has been a breakthrough in this relationship lately, with a nice long hug when she saw me upset, so i know that im releasing and vibrating at a slightly higher frequency already
Siege mentality and looking for/expecting the worst are one of the other main issues at hand. This ties into PTSD symptoms (which i believe began when my mother was beaten when i was in the womb, and also at 1 years old when i saw her get badly beaten). This has the effect of not being able to trust, of glass half empty syndrome and excessive worry.
One thing i am sure about is that i have had enough, and that i am completely ready for change.
I greatly appreciate all of the feedback and help from you all.Paul McCabeHi Rojaque,
You're very welcome and it definitely seems like you already have a handle of this.
What could be supporting the feelings is that you may still love your ex, even though you may suppress it or rationalise it away. This would be perfectly understandable, by the way.
You can love someone and not want to be with that person, so I am not saying that neutralising love is necessary per se, but neutralising the longing seems to be the smart play.
The meaning you give to yout partner meeting someone new, which is an imagined outcome at this stage, can also support the feelings.
If you asked yourself “what must I believe?” to have this be a problem, that can be an effective way to access the underlying belief.
What might you believe about yourself, your ex or that relationship to be upset by the imagined outcome?
Might it be something like “(My belief is that) I'll never be happy” or “(My belief is that) I'm alone in this world”?
To check whether.these resonate, say each statement out loud. If they seem to generate any uncomfortable feelings, they are most likely beliefs you would hold.
And you have PN, so you can eliminate these. Running the PN, using the counterexamples and then running PP on the opposite suggestions could prove unbelievably liberating for you.
Make sure, when doing PN, that you try to get in touch with the pattern. Rather than it being a well-constructed sentence that “sounds like something I might believe”, try to remember times in your life where the belief would have contributed to your pattern. I find that very helpful.
Your Mother will have done the best she could, but some people are simply uncomfortable with affection…and for a variety of reasons. Did you give any meaning to your mother's behaviour and not being very tactile? What, if anything, did you think it meant about you?
If anything pops up, use PN.
This does not go against the previous tips – start with the CTs, but also try to get in touch with these beliefs (or the patterns)…and then eliminate them.
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Brian TuckerIf you have feelings that is 9/10 of the battle with pstec clicktracks. You might explore the why technique which should get your sorted out. I have personally used this to remove volumes of negative emotions in my relationship. There is no guesswork with this technique it will take you right to the original events, memories and feelings whether you remember them or not.
http//pstecforum.com/pf/confused-and-not-sure-where-to-start/why-technique/
Rowan HassonThank you so much Paul. this is extremely helpful material.
i should work out and work through the underlying emotions before trying to work on beliefs, as it appears im unclear/unaware of exactly what is generating the sadness as of yet.
im guessing stuff like- i will always be abandoned , i am not worthy of love, there is someone better than, she will be happier with someone else than me etc are behind some of these feelings.
there is also some anger at 'she has abandoned me' also.Ill get to work on these layers and hopefully start to peel things back and reveal the good stuff that has been hidden for a while. half a day of sunshine and tapping awaits
Rowan HassonThank you Plus1g i will give that a good read before starting today.
Paul McCabeHi Rojaque,
You're very welcome.
Please keep us posted on your progress.
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
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