Masculine intent & Action taking

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  • #21999
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    I am having a hard time participating in group conversations, taking social iniciatives and using my masculine traits while relating to women,

    Positive pstec helped me to be more shameless and caring less on what ppl think, but i don't know how to approach the decisiveness aspect of social interactions,

    I.E

    When i relate to women i keep things safe to avoid rocking the boat, instead of showing clear intent and radical honesty to actually get to a more intimate dimension of my interactions

    #25624
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Truman,

    Thank you for your question and I am sorry for the very late reply.

    What you have identified is a “problem context” (having a hard time participating in group converstions). You seem to be making excellent progress with PSTEC and have simply identified some other areas to target.

    It would appear to me that you might hold a belief like “It is bad to rock the boat”, and “It is scary to upset people.” Say these beliefs out loud and see if they resonate with you.

    You can hold belief but, with PSTEC, you can also let it go.

    Instead of me telling you what I think, I will ask you to consider and respond to the following:

    – How do you know you have a hard time participating in group conversations? Check in with this
    – What would you have to believe about yourself to have that experience?
    – What would you have to believe about the social interactions to experience these feelings?
    – How does this show up (e.g. avoidance, feelings of fear, shaky voice)?
    – In which specific social initiatives do you have trouble participating?
    – Why do you think it is vital to show your masculine traits around women? Think this one over.

    I look forward to reading more from you, Truman.

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25625
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    I am having a hard time participating in group conversations, taking social iniciatives and using my masculine traits while relating to women,

    Positive pstec helped me to be more shameless and caring less on what ppl think, but i don't know how to approach the decisiveness aspect of social interactions,

    I.E

    When i relate to women i keep things safe to avoid rocking the boat, instead of showing clear intent and radical honesty to actually get to a more intimate dimension of my interactions

    Hi, Truman –

    There are several ways you can approach this. Along my journey using the clicktracks I had some astounding realizations that I had some major beliefs around women. Most of these came from a few events and I was completely oblivious to them. One was as a child I was beat in a Judo match by a girl. A second was living on a block with two twin girls who used to play football with is. These girls were TOUGH! LOL. Another was being disinvited to an 8th grade party by a girl. Then a stepmother who I went round and round with for decades. These caused me to develop programming and behaviors around Women are scary/not safe/dangerous. Women are bad. Women can't be trusted. Women will reject me. Women will leave me. I hate women. etc. I am not saying these are the actual beliefs though they are the instructions and energies installed in me due to the sum of these life experiences.

    These events in the grand scheme of my life were insignificant (except for stepmother) however, they created a cluster of beliefs that I could not even see. In one of my business nearly all of my clients are women. I also live with four women and have only lived with women roomates for the most part since I moved away from home and got married.

    The pain that this caused in my life was something I could not even notice because it was so normal and you can see how I would be living my life subconsciously trying to protect myself 24/7. Although I could interact ok with women for the most part, once I found and cleared out all of this nonsense out OMG what a tremendous relief in day to day interactions.

    Where am I going with this…Think about how you feel in these situations. Really think back to any bad experiences with women, especially childhood, as back as you can go. I would suggest to use the “why technique” as instructed on this forum and begin working your way through those experiences and feelings. Once you go in and resolve these things you will see an amazing transformation. It could be as simple as one experience (like the judo experience) that could crumble it all.

    I had those “don't rock the boat” and passive/avoidance feelings. Those are absolutly fears conditionings that you have developed over the years to adapt and protect yourself from whatever happened in the past. So when you resolve the past that will go way. I would suggest you really go after those right out of the gate. Again “why technique” comes to mind.

    Funny enough I see these ladies in all of these experiences around town at the store and whatnot often. Never gave a single thought to any of this haha.

    NORMAL!

    #25626
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    Hey guys thank you for sharing. Really insightful stuff here. I've tried everything you described.

    Surprisingly enough last night I ended up in bed with 4 women I've never met before (we didn't have sex but we sleeped together, yeah I know it sounds weird)

    I'm still using alcohol to soft my social nervousness or anxiety but last night I was really flowing and connecting and having fun with women.

    I'm still having a hard time escalating and showing sexual intention in my interactions (touch, tone of voice, etc). I am able to take the lead and tell women what to do with rapport but I lack sexual awareness and intent. I even talk about sex openly with women in a verbal way, but lacks the emotion behind it.

    I think I am afraid of being sexually rejected or offend women (the whole anti-sexual harassment movement also made me more afraid of making moves)

    I am also afraid of escalating interactions with women like compromising and asking them out. I expect them to be interested, instead of showing interest first.

    My affirmations during clicktrack 2015 are based on wants.

    I.e.

    I want to be recognized

    I want to be seen

    I want to be needed

    That's enough or should I tap even more deeper?

    #25627
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Keep tapping on everything in the way.

    You can even tap the energy behind the tone of your different voices. The tone of your voice is tied to fear and also feminine energy. Clearing those various tones will also make a big difference.

    #25628
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Truman,

    Thanks for your post.

    With regard to the following:

    My affirmations during clicktrack 2015 are based on wants.

    I.e.

    I want to be recognized

    I want to be seen

    I want to be needed

    That's enough or should I tap even more deeper?

    Did you CT the “want” out of these situations, or were you trying to programne them in? It wasn't 100% clear to me when I read this.

    For what it's worth, I would recommend that you neutralise anything where you make your happiness, contentment and inner peace contingent on someone else's reaction. To that end, the PSTEC tools can work as you imagine NOT getting what you want, CTing the unwanted emotion and then realising that YOU are fine – no matter what.

    When someone is comfortable in their own skin and “present”, I would contend that this has huge benefits and means you don't have to think about tactics, strategies etc. That authenticity will typically come across – whether the context is a job interview or a date.

    You can set this up where the “victory” is you feeling totally at ease within yourself and engaged. A lot of great things arise from a “give to give”, rather than a “give to get” approach. It gets you out of your head too.

    Take care,

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25629
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    To add/enhance to Paul's suggestion.

    If you are doing ct 2015 make a list of all those things you have a problem with wanting. Run the wrapper audio track – think and feel wanting all of them – and wrap them up into one feeling. Then CT that feeling of want. :)

    Want is not JEEP it is a programmed emotion. The goal here is to DESIRE these things which have positive feelings of JEEP.

    #25630
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    Hi guys. thanks for the reply.

    i'am CTing the wants away, not installing them.

    my current situation is that i am alone in a new city and i am dealing with lots of co dependent emotional habits to relate to people.

    ive noticed that i feel extasis when i get people's approval and feel like shit when people get distant or dont reply my texts.

    ive been tapping on these things for a week now but i would like to know a cleaner way to let go these codependent habits which seem to be hardwired in my unconscious.

    things like ejecting from interactions when i am getting approval before “i fuck it up” etc. and staying a lot of my time in the hotel because i feel alone and i have no one to go out with.

    these habits are from childhood and i would like to know if there's any efficient road to clean them in a more powerful way, because tapping on isolated events like “i'll fuck up the interaction” gets me to the emotion that i want to let go (which is a shallow issue) but statements like “i need people's approval” not so much (which seems to be at the core)

    thanks.

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