New Aspects in Problematic Relationship
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- June 17, 2012 at 3:17 pm#21472Rhonda (Dixie) BoylePSTEC User
I have a difficult person in my life & I have used the CTs to clear current & past issues. Unfortunately, every time we come in contact again, a new aspect seems to be created. I'm not sure if I'm not clearing completely, or if I just have the expectation that I will be offended again, and therefore, I am.
Perhaps I have a belief that needs to be addressed with the Positive PP?
I just want to be neutral & unaffected by this person & would appreciate some input.
DixieJune 18, 2012 at 8:16 am#22883Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
Aloha Dixie… I am assuming a bit that when you say, “I just want to be neutral & unaffected” … that there are non-JEEP emotions coming up when you get together (or even think about?) this person.
The tool of choice for emotions is ALWAYS the free Click Tracks, the EEF's or the Accelerator Tapping Track.
If the emotions are there, then, no, you have not addressed the emotional issue correctly.
Your upset with the person is not what they are doing or being, but how your mind interprets what the person is doing or being.
Remember, the source of these emotions that cause a reaction when you get together with this person may have nothing logically to do with this person. It's may be that this current person just triggers the responses that are held in the Mind Model and were formed previously… actually, it's most likely something along those lines.
JeffJune 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm#22884Rhonda (Dixie) BoylePSTEC User
Thanks for your response, Jeff!
Actually, I'm just always on guard with this person. After being around this person, if I have any anxiety or stress at all, I can use the CT. But I'm still weary. I'm not neutral or unaffected because I'm just waiting for the next problem.
Does that make sense?
I find myself needing to use the CT every time I'm around this person! Yes, I get that it's in MY mind. My mind is ready to interpret things in a negative whenever we are in the same room together! And guess what? I'm RIGHT! I always get offended!
DixieJune 19, 2012 at 12:01 am#22885Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
Hi Dixie… ok, let me give you some “to do's”…
- Use the Accelerator Tapping Track initially with this.
- Imagine the most intense “confrontation with this person” and then try hard to feel the feeling of anxiety or fear, whatever is the most intense feeling you have around that person.
- As the intensity goes down with the person, pay extra special attention to other memories or even people that come to mind that also invoke that feeling.
[/list]You see? You are looking for the cause of that feeling with this person which might involve the person or might not. This person may just trigger the feeling that was established in your Mind Model a long time ago as being an appropriate response.
For example, I was working with a lady that was nervous any time they sat in front of a male to do business… “sweat like a pig” as she put it. Along with the nervousness came her inability to invoke her highest and greatest resources. Why? Because she was focusing on the error in thinking that she needed to be “on guard” because it was painful or dangerous. So, her attention was not on her highest resources.
Did we Click Track on her most recent issue with the male she was dealing with? In this case, no, because it was not necessary. What we ended up working on was her memory from high school where a boy she wanted to date said to her, “I only want to be friends.” Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that hurt her and her mind, at that moment, decided that males would reject her.
Cleared that and her subsequent meetings with males went smoothly, effectively and were outright fun.
Let your sub present what is the cause of this issue. As I said, it could be something with this particular person and it might not be… don't judge or decide yourself … let your sub reveal it and the use of the Accelerator will help to encourage the sub to “give up the goods” or reveal the cause (or causes) of the issue.
JeffJune 19, 2012 at 2:09 am#22886Rhonda (Dixie) BoylePSTEC User
I may have to use the CT over my embarrassment over having misspelt ASPECTS in the title! Unless my favorite Moderator will fix it for me?!
As I sat hear reading your post, I thought about all the people in my life in my past who shared similar behavior. And I found them! I do know of several incidents and circumstances in my life where I have been subjected to this same type of constant manipulation, judgmentalism and self-righteousness. Something new to CT on!
I think I've GOT it!
It can always be traced backwards, eh?June 19, 2012 at 10:41 am#22887Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
Hey, I don't call 'em breadcrumbs for nothing. Veeeerrrry nice work, my dear! It usually just takes a little quiet and listening time to hear the clues come out from the sub… such a willing partner if we trust it… trust ourselves.
Now, CT on those old relationships … start with the one that is either oldest and/or most intense and see if letting go of that one releases all the others.
Then, fun stuff, see how your perception and relationship shifts with the current person … if there is still some intensity, go back to the CT's and see what else is there. Use this person as a barometer of where you are on the issue.
Hey, nice CT'ing on the post title… all fixed for ya!
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