Projecting shame – how to do CT?
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awakenedspiritHi,
I have been using PSTEC on/off for a number of years, I have recently come back to them again. Having had such a traumatic childhood; I have 100's of big and small memories.My key issue is shame. I have been feeling my feelings and realised everything I do comes from shame, no wonder things don't work for me.
Every so often, I create exactly the same shameful situation and don't realise until it's happened.
My question is, as toxic shame starts so young, how can I use the CT to effectively lessen the intensity.
I have been running tracks on key memories, but I don't get much change, starts at 1o rating and goes to 5, have not got a traumatic memory down to zero.
Any advice greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Peter BunyanHi awakenedspirit
Without knowing more and asking you a lot of personal questions I will have to take a huge guess or two. So please forgive me if I am way of the mark and please let me know either way.
As I cannot conceive of how a child could develop shame to the point of trauma I will assume that you acquired it from an adult. This could be that you were manipulated into the feeling… If an adult tells a child that “it is all their fault and should be ashamed” the child might well take that on as true and become ashamed, children tend to accept what adults tell them as they have no prior experience. Even though as a child you could not really be held accountable for what happened. Or it could be that an adult over reacted to something you did, something you could not really be blamed for, example bed wetting, with empathy you could pick up on that dramatic over reaction and feel overly ashamed for it. Even though it was the adults inability to handle the situation you acquired the feelings from them.
What I think I am working around to is that there is likely to be other associated feelings with those key memories. These could be a sense of unfairness, injustice, anger or even a subdued rage, also guilt. Working with memories and reliving the experience while click tracking should bundle all the feelings together however, memories from an early age can be felt as a manipulative adult wanted you to feel or as the adult felt, blown out of proportion to the incident. These memories then distorted and what you recall may not be a true reflection of what actually happened. Have a think and if other feelings are present Click Track those and this will tend to reduce the associated shame.
It is also possible that all you need to do is keep on CTing those memories until you get over a “tipping point”. Some people spend many hours CTing but still get there in the end just with perseverence. If you have them try diferent Click Tracks the Enhanced and 2015.
Hopefully I have given you some things to think about.
PeterawakenedspiritHello Peter,
And thank you very much – you are absolutely right, as soon as I read your email, I realised shame, hate and rage were emotions that both of my parents projected on a daily basis.Just knowing that I am carrying my parents emotions helps me see, that I have felt it has been required of me to do the same. Great insight!
I will indeed run the CT almost as an observer watching my parents raging and projecting self-hate onto their children.
I will also just feel the feelings of shame…Thank you again – I will keep you posted
Warm regards
Ar
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