Pleasantly Surprised Newbie Needs Advice, Please

Hi, Paul and Brian,

I've been using the free Click Tracks and Belief Blasters, and I'm happy to report that I feel calmer and more peaceful than before I started. I was even able to write a couple of news commentaries and post them online. They were received well (1000+ hits each!) … but I still felt like an imposter.

That feeling and others tell me there's more damage underneath. Yet my bad feelings, while arising in fleeting moments throughout the day, are as elusive as shadows when it's time to do Click Tracks. I spent years in deep depression, so please understand that I am not complaining! I just know there's more work to do, and my hidden-inside self is not as eager to do it as my conscious self is.

Here's what's happening:

Even though I'm having truly life-giving results, it can take over an hour to settle in and get a session started. I see resistance manifesting as indecision. (Inner monologue example: “Which feeling is the worst? What core belief is that about? There are so many! I want to be efficient … Maybe I should look at the list again. Or check Tim’s directions again. Just to be sure.”)

This pattern got worse after the first couple of successful sessions(!), and then I started giving myself excuses not to do more—(“Feeling fine now. Takes too much time!”)—so transparent they’re almost comical!  :

My original plan was to follow your advice: use Click Tracks, then Belief Blasters, and then Positive Quantum Turbo, which I had planned to purchase in a couple of weeks.

I noticed that the pain sometimes reveals itself when I'm using the Belief Blasters, even if I skip Click Tracks because nothing comes up to tap on. (Pain includes shame, guilt, grief, feelings of worthlessness.)

I want do daily sessions. I think it would be easier to work my way through negative core beliefs and replace them rather than first searching for the bad feelings they bring.

Here's my question:

Is it reasonable to skip the Click Tracks and move straight to a Belief Blaster? Then if pain arises, could I go back to a Click Track to clear the pain? If yes, would you recommend that I resume the Belief Blaster where I was or start it over?

Thanks for your advice!

Warm regards,

Fran

Hi, Paul,
Thank you for your sensitive reading of my state of mind. 
I love that I don't have to figure everything out, although I must admit that part of the challenge is trusting what appears to be a somewhat random process. I'm taking some steps to sort it out while still allowing for spontaneity and impulse.
Recently I purchased PQT, so now I'm working with Click Tracks, Belief Blasters, and PQT. I use CT for just plain misery—for times when accessing or even guessing beliefs of any kind is just too hard—as many times as needed to remove jagged edges and at least feel neutral, and I'm experimenting with the other two.
At first I just wrote a few notes or nothing at all. Lately I've begun to track the basics, meaning just the date, whatever tool I've used, the phases or action (tapping, for example), and thoughts that come to mind when the session is done.
Meditation has taught me that small, steady effort is best for me (even though I always want instant action—oh well!). I'm aiming at daily sessions of no longer than 30 minutes. Not there yet, but they will come if I'm nice to myself and don't scold or cajole.
BTW, I'd have to say that figuring out how to be genuinely kind to oneself can be very hard to do, yet it's well worth the effort. Lots more to say, but I'll save it for another time—the short version is that I discovered that, like meditation, it's a habit one acquires. If you let it, each failure can become an opportunity to try again. The big success? When you can resume your efforts to be nice to yourself without first stopping to yell at yourself for screwing up!  :
Warm regards,
Fran
PS I was born in Dublin. My father was born in Galway and spent time in Belfast as a small boy. Talking about his childhood one time, he mentioned that he and his sisters used to sleep under the bed, because soldiers would drive through the streets at night shooting through upstairs windows. Even in his nineties, he remembered sleeping under the bed in Belfast at that time as nothing special, but rather simple  common sense. It's amazing what people can get used to in order to survive, isn't it?

Hi, Paul,
Both of my parents are dead, my mother in 2008, and my dad in 2009. If they were alive (or is PSTEC was available at the time), I pretty sure I could have persuaded them to try it out.
The more time goes by, the more I realize how harrowing their lives must have been and how that affected their four children's lives.
My best revenge is gathering up their goodness as fuel for my own efforts—and dispelling the misery they inadvertently bequeathed because of the difficulties they themselves endured.

I'm finally getting into the rhythm of daily PSTEC. Just to keep you up to date, here are my notes from the past two days:

7/24/19
Getting tired around midday for years. Today tried resting, but even tireder. Possibly late morning and early afternoon tired could be protecting myself from bad feelings in subcon? “Unworthy” comes to mind.
1. Click-tracks #1 & 2 on “unworthy”
2. Did PQT short – “It is safe to move ahead” (which came to me during second CT)
4. Then did short relaxation.Feeling much better.
I may not have generated all the unworthy feelings. I have decided that doesn’t matter, as I sense that if there are more, they are very powerful and very deep. I will allow them to arise, even every day for a while if necessary, and dissolve them when I perceive them. Probably a good way to address other negative emotions also.

7/25/19
“It’s safe to feel confident”
PQT Short X2
(Not quite ready for BE confident, but FEEL confident was a good fit 

7/26/19
Not sure what I'll work on today. My motto is “No Forcing” — but find myself floating and avoiding. It's as if I have a habit of feeling ineffectual and am getting ready to try on bigger things. Wanting the tipping point, sidling up to success, not actually afraid (at least I don't think I am), but still very, very cautious.

I know I can't hurt myself with PSTEC (GOOD!)

May try some “what if” phrases with PQT. Your thoughts?

Thanks, Paul!

Fran