Reply To: Phobia being around loud and verbally aggressive people

Hi PhotoguyOC,

Thanks for posting.

Your experience is common and, while it may seem insurmountable, I have every confidence you can smash this.

There will be experiences that feed into this pattern, and your subconscious mind has revealed some of them and may be obscuring others. Ultimately, its intent is to keep you safe.

Aside from the bullying, you may wish to look at times in your childhood when you were scolded or physically punished.

I appreciate that witnessing aggression, even if it's intended playfully, can be a little jarring for most people. I assure you, though, that PSTEC can really give you a sense of ease about this and you will be able to respond from a place of greater calmness whilst being able to discern real danger from male bravado.

Just to add to what Brian has suggested, I would recommend having a look at the following thread:

http://pstecforum.com/pf/social-anxiety/social-anxiety-and-ptsd-suggestions/

In other words, you may find a quicker pathway to resolving this issue by eliminating beliefs. The easiest tool for the job is the Belief Blasters package (http://bit.ly/beliefblasters)

You could check in with some of the suggested beliefs in that thread and, if they resonate (feel true) and you have the BB package, blast them away. It will make a huge difference, I expect.

Some other beliefs you may wish to check:

“It was not safe to change”
“Everyone was out to get me”
“I was annoying to people”
“I was under constant threat”
“It was dangerous to have people focus their attention on me”
“Fear kept me safe”
“It was dangerous to let go of the fear”
“Loud people were dangerous”
“Aggression was scary”
“Anger was scary”
“It was dangerous to show vulnerability”
“If people had seen my fear, they would have hurt me more”
“Groups were scary”
“I was an easy target”

There are counterexamples and alternatives to each and every one of those beliefs.

Once the beliefs are blasted, this can make a huge difference to your everyday experience.

Please let us know how you get on, or if you have any further questions.

All the best,

Paul