Reply To: Things you used to love doing becoming a choir

Hi Paul

Thanks for getting back to me. I hope you are keeping well.

Those feelings and the problem itself was before the coronavirus came about, but I think it almost just added more weight to it.

I haven’t used the click tracks while actually having the thing I want to do in front of me so that would be worth looking at. I have definitely used the click tracks on the problem before in the past. I don’t really feel very emotional about it. It’s like, I don’t think of working out and get into a blind rage, or become upset, or worried. I just don’t really care about it very much. I do feel a bit let down when I don’t do those things, and have worked on that in the past but then I still don’t do those things and I just don’t really care about the fact I didn’t do those things lol.

I made a start on the beliefs you listed.

“Everything was pointless” rang out to me a little. “I had to do everything perfectly” did too, half way through I felt like getting rid of that belief wasn’t really at the core of the problem though.

“I had to do everything perfectly” – If I didn’t then what? It’s almost as if there is something behind it but I’m not sure what. If I don’t do things perfectly, then …….

Do you know what I mean?

“life was a struggle” felt real too.

On the positive side. The belief “No matter how I feel, I take control of my actions” felt as if it would be half way there to being believable so I had a go with that, and it does feel stronger to me now. “I now feel greater control taking actions that benefit my life”  also did but not as much as the other. The other two didn’t seem believable to me. Do you think I should soften them or go straight in with them?

I have tried in the past let’s say for example with reading. To set aside 30 minutes every day to read an informational book. I downloaded an app that I can track my habit, set everything up. Then it would be ok for a little while, but every-time I would just trail off and end up not doing it. To be honest, I feel as if I just want to do those things because I WANT to do them, NOT because there’s a reminder on my phone telling me to do it. Things become more like a chore, and it is a real battle to build a habit up naturally. I also have a lot of difficulty concentrating too, so my mind darts around everywhere and I cant have complete focus on one thing for very long. Which makes doing tasks pretty difficult, especially when you need to focus. I am not as bad as I was, but it’s still an ongoing problem. For things like meditation, reading, etc where you need focus it can make it difficult.

Thanks, Daniel