Reply To: How do you work with this when you don’t "feel"?

Jeff Harding

    Hi Cynthia,

    Thank you for your comments.

    I have done a lot of looking around on this forum.

    It looks like this process does a lot of great stuff once you have an emotion to work with.

    My question is still about how to get in touch with the emotions to begin with.

    I know that my subconscious mind does a good job of trying to protect me and that it wants only what is best for me.
    I know that it is a good friend and not an enemy for me to fight.
    I know that it is just working with old programs that just don't serve me any more.
    I know that it wants to stay with what is familiar and doesn't want to change.

    Let me give you some background on me.
    My father was an alcoholic and an ex-boxer. Not a good combination.
    I had migraine headaches starting at about age 4 or 5.
    They were a way to escape my father.
    When I cut off my emotions the migraines stopped.

    I quit school and went into the Navy for 4 years.
    When I went home I hoped that things had changed. They hadn't.

    I let the area in 1969 and traveled a lot.
    I would find a job and work for a while and then move on.

    I had not been in touch with the family since I left.

    My sister found out how to get in touch with me this year and called me because she wanted to get in touch.
    It seems that I am the last of the family and she wanted to connect with me.

    My oldest brother is in jail for murder and had been there for several years.
    My next oldest brother died in a motorcycle accident about three years after I left.
    My youngest brother died of leukemia about 5 years ago.
    My father died of Alzheimer's 2 years ago and my mother died of cancer last year.

    When she told me all of this there was nothing.

    I know that I should be feeling something but there is nothing there.

    It is the same way with most everything.
    Nothing there.

    I know that they are somewhere inside but I can't seem to get in touch with them.

    I do not feel depressed.
    I do not feel sad.
    I do not feel angry.
    I also do not feel happy.
    I do not feel joy.
    I can't remember the last time that I had a belly laugh.
    And I don't cry.

    How do I begin to open up this armor?
    I KNOW inside my head that if I get in touch with my emotions I will be able to handle them with EFT or pstec and resolve them.
    I just don't know how to get in touch with them to begin with.

    Where do I start?

    That is the question.

    Thanks for being there.