Reply To: Obsessive thoughts and relationships

Jeff Harding
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Kim,

    Relationships can be both a benefit when they dissolve and the source for much conflict to our inner peace.

    You have quite a complex web of emotions, memories, issues, etc. in your experience, so if you find it confusing and get stalled quite often, consider having a PSTEC Practitioner help guide you through the maze of emotions to clear them up properly… look to the PSTEC Registry for someone that could help you.

    With that said, here are some points to consider in your work on these issues… I am going to cram a lot in here, so strap yourself in…

    • Be careful of the “desperate needs” as you work through these issues.  When we are desperate, our decisions are not always for the highest good of everyone involved.  Even if the “goal” is good, we can go about it the wrong way when giving in to the desperate feeling.

      So, when a desperate feeling is pervasive, it’s good to look at that and use the CT’s properly on it.

    • Healing yourself around a dissolved relationship is not about the other person.  This is not about what they, do, did or will do.  The healing will come from within and is about your perceptions of what the other person does, did or will do.  So, look to heal your perceptions of the relationship… of the past painful memories… of the current pain or obsession of the present … of the fear of the future.

      Keep looking within for the emotions, beliefs and behaviors that support all those feelings of “non-J.E.E.P.”

    • It’s ALL about forgiveness and that is one of the primary purposes of PSTEC because PSTEC is about letting go… letting go of the emotional attachment to the memories and imagined events as well as letting go of beliefs that are not empowering.  So, when you think about forgiveness, think about it in terms of how you feel and think about others AND about forgiveness of yourself.  For example, if you had a very emotional memory of someone that was violent, you may be focusing on what the other person did; perhaps your are angry and sad.  But, in addition to that, look at what you did as well in reaction or response, even if it was justified, look at what you did or said and how you feel about it… maybe you say to yourself, “Oh, how stupid was that… I’m an idiot!”  That is something, most likely, that is ripe with emotions and feelings, so us the Click Tracks (CT) on it.  In other words, be sure to address self-forgiveness as well as the forgiveness of others.
    • For obsessive issues, yes, you can use the CT’s on that in terms of imagining the “good” feeling of being with that person … also, watch out for the feelings of fear of not being with the person.  So, you can neutralize those feelings with the CT’s … you can neutralize ANY feeling with the CT’s and, therefore, reduce or eliminate your motivating feeling to be with the person.

      So, again, yes, use the CT’s to address the emotional feelings of obsession for the person as well as the fears of being without them.  These are common feelings in these situations, but there may be other feelings and causes as well.

    • [/list]Alright, shifting gears here… are you still strapped in?  :- )

      Quite often the emotions are not the only chains that bind us… remember, as I mentioned above, there are beliefs and behaviors as well …

    • There may be beliefs that are keeping those emotions in place, such as: “I can’t live without someone”… “life will be lonely without someone”… “I’m too old, too short, too __________ to start over”… etc.

      So, you must be adept at addressing the beliefs as well (using the PSTEC Positive Tracks) to make the release of the emotional issues easier and more smooth.

    • A side note…you said, “I have run the click tracks on a few specific that have happened in the past with some relief. Going from a 10 to about a 3 on some past events… “

      Why did you stop at 3?  Did you continue and do additional rounds with the CT’s?

    • Continue the use of the PSTEC Accelerators as instructed by Tim on the audios because what you will find is that the memories or imagined events that are part of the cause of these issues will come up so that you know what to work on… you know what to focus on while running the CT’s.
    • [/list]So, you may be directed by the subconscious mind to events, memories and issues that are not related to the relationship… memories that happened long before the relationship you are currently working on.

      When a memory comes to mind while focusing on something else that is emotional, then jot that down and run it with the CT.  Be open to the communications from the subconscious (images, feelings, thoughts, movies, emotions, etc.)… it’s all just data coming through that needs to either be handled and healed or you can comply and stay stuck in those dis-empowering thoughts and feelings.

      For obsessive issues, there are a variety of causes and approaches, but here are some ideas for a process…

      1. “I can't be without” beliefs need to be loosened up and ideally busted. This is easier for a therapist than for someone working alone trapped inside that belief structure looking out… this step can make the shift and changes much more smooth… a bit difficult for a person to do on their own, especially when the emotions are extremely high.
      2. At the right timing, hit the emotional side by click tracking feelings of love or desire for the person.
      3. Then, imagine the person is not there… try and hold onto the feeling of need and click track that too.
      4. When the emotions are low for #2 and #3 above, go to PSTEC Positive with the following Positive Statements… some of these break the rules, but these types of situations are exceptions:
      5. [/list]

        • “I am fine without __________” and/or  “I am better off without ________”
        • “I don't need them anymore”
        • “I'm free”
        • [/list]So, there you go, Kim… does it seem a bit ominous or complex?  Well, no need to despair, because, again, that's what practitioners are for; to help guide you through the maze of memories and emotions.  So, give it a go on your own if you wish and then if stuck or overwhelmed, then go to the PSTEC Registry right away and get these issues released right away!

          Take care… keep clickin'… aloha!