Reply To: Porn addition??
Forums › General Discussions and Specific Issues › General Anxiety…Social Anxiety… Panic Attacks…Agoraphobia › Porn addition?? › Reply To: Porn addition??
Hi musicman… thanks for bringing up a subject that might be touchy for some … might even make some cringe or even wonder about the forum.
One aspect of this forum is that it is about results... it's about sharing experiences, ideas and tips that will help people through some issues that will lead them to finding True Freedom… freedom from limiting emotions, beliefs and behaviors.
One guarantee that I tell my private clients is that as we explore and work on their issues, I have no criticism and no judgment (same goes here on the forum). I only see errors in thinking and mind models that do not encourage that person to allow the full expression of their True Self… that magnificent part we all have… albeit some bury quite deep. … but it's there.
True, addictions can be a barrier to freedom … any addiction can because it's not “what” the addiction is attached to (alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, sugar, money or port as you point out) but that your mind is preoccupied and focused on a behavior that is not in the natural flow of your BEing… in other words, the addiction can keep you from “seeing” and acting on opportunities that bring joy and peace.
Let's be careful about defining something with absolutes and let's merely find solutions that bring results because, again, that's my interest… results.
Be careful about approaching your issues with fear… such as, “QUIT WATCHING AND MASTURBATING TO PORN! You will be shocked at the affect porn and masturbation has on ones life.”
When we try to change out of fear, we create resistance and we limit our experience. That's one reason Tim emphasizes with PSTEC Positive not to state what you don't want, but state what you DO want. In other words, don't run from the fears, but move in the direction of your desires. That distinction can make a world of difference in your perceptions, energy and states of BEing.
Now, I am NEITHER advocating the viewing of porn nor am I against it either. There are many couples that use porn to stimulate their sex lives and, who knows, it might lift depression in a flagging marriage.
Also, keep in mind, porn, in and of itself, is not a roadblock and it won't have any effect on PSTEC and any particular use of porn will not impact on the effectiveness of PSTEC at all but a powerful belief that one has permanently damaged oneself might effect one's success with PSTEC or ANY therapy.
So, do the best you can to enter your PSTEC work without any limiting beliefs and you will move much more quickly through the process … i.e. DO NOT maintain or encourage the belief that porn impacts PSTEC or that it stops people from getting better.
The site that you are quoting, while probably well meant, does not bear up to scrutiny in all aspects…
A quick perusal brings these examples to mind…
“Animal nutritionist Mark Edwards points out, 'We’re all hard-wired to consume resources in excess of daily requirements. I can’t think of a species that doesn’t.' “
Hhhhmmmm, well if you put sheep out to graze in a sea of grass none of them end up morbidly obese. Lions and tigers hunt what they want eat what they need, then they leave the rest. I have seen goats here on the island, donkeys too (very tropical huh?) and they eat and eat, but none of them needs to purchase Tim's weight loss package. They eat what they need to eat. the author is making a statement hoping it will be taken at face value. It's clearly total nonsense.
I have put out food for our 5 feral cats outside and, quite often, they leave much of it behind and the birds end up getting the left overs.
The site is also incorrect about the time it takes to break an “addiction”. They figure it takes 6 to 8 weeks in one article on the site. Maybe if the wrong methods are used that would be the case. But, from my experience and other therapists working with real people, with the correct methods, it can be done very quickly.
Tim has said in regards to addictions, 'In my personal experience of working with people I'd say this is a behavioural habit which feels compulsive. These are generally very straightforward to resolve.'
Recently, I was working with someone with a soda addiction and in a session, spending about 10 minutes on the addiction issue, she was done. I checked in with her a couple months later and she had not touched the soda AT ALL. She was drinking water regularly and the weight was falling off as well. Her daughter noticed the untouched sodas in the house and asked, 'Mom, what's up? I have not seen you drinking soda for weeks? Are you ok?' Evidently, she was known for having a soda in her hand quite often.
What's the point of my ramble here… two things…
- Be careful what you read when absolutes are expressed because they can “pin your mind down” to rules, definitions and beliefs that keep you “caged.”
- Look for results, not definitions, but when looking for results and trying something, like PSTEC , be sure you are following the directions carefully and if you have difficulty, ask about it.
We give you many free resources: this forum, you can write to PSTEC Support, we have several free packages to help you along and you also have Tim's Q&A, again, for free!
- When working with PSTEC, immerse yourself in Tim's Tool and perspectives on healing because he has successfully and consistently healed people, time after time, of some of the most gripping addictions, phobias and traumas (Also, therapists around the world are experiencing the same or similar results as Tim in their personal practices). This is not because PSTEC is the only way or that only Tim has the answers, it's because when you narrow your focus for some time to PSTEC materials and support, your mind can, more easily, integrate these effective methods properly.
Malama Pono (take care, be right)… Aloha!