Reply To: Need to forget about my ex-girlfriend – not sure of the process..
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Hi gdogg … ever hand at dogtown?
First, be sure you want to move on and it appears that way from your post.
Secondly, be careful of prescriptions on how to approach an issue. Each and every mind model is different… yep, 7 billion different ones on this rock; not counting the ones that “left” and those still to come … and your most effective and efficient approach is to keep to the “PSTEC Fundamentals” and then become excellent in the “artful” side of using PSTEC and, for the most part, one great characteristic of being artful is BEing aware and not overcome with your past issue that haunts you.
When you are aware, you will know exactly what to do with the PSTEC Tools so keep in mind…
When you have emotions that don't serve you, Click Track (CT) them using the CT's, EEF's and/or Accelerator Tapping Tracks (ATT). So, if you feel sad, angry, frustrated, jealous… any emotion that is unpleasant … CT it!
There are certain memories
– Like lying, cheating
– No get along
– Not getting invited to …
Now, there are also emotions that SEEM pleasant, but they don't serve you, therefore, they too are unpleasant.
– Shes the most beautiful girl
– Shes so awesome
So, if you imagine her and get a “good” feeling … might be an exciting thought about being with her… or what some call a “good anxiousness” … CT those “false good feelings until 0-1. It's similar to an addiction, like gambling, where someone gets that adrenaline rush when gambling; you can CT that “false good feeling” to take away part of the motivation to continue doing something that harms you.
Beliefs – Negative
Those are like the thoughts you have, like…
– Someone else will get her
– Shes so awesome
There is a reason for our decisions… our desires … our compulsions … our addictions… and, by the way, relationship addictions I believe are larger than any of the other types of addictions. So, begin to delve into the beliefs that keep you going back to her…keep you going back to a relationship that is not empowering you.
Why does it matter whether someone else gets her?
Begin a series of “why” questions to get down to the more core beliefs of your mind model that drive that compulsion. You see?
Then, use PN for those negative beliefs.
You see why prescriptions are not be taken lightly? Your reasons may be quite different from another person's.
But, the fundamentals of emotions, beliefs and behaviors all make up our mind models… all 7 billion of them and more.
You can address the old relationship with some statements using PSTEC Positive like this…
“I am fine without ……”
“I am better off without”
You are taking “weight” off of the side that says you can't live without her and putting weight on the side that says you can not only live without her, but thrive as well!
Do I do CTs first, then Accelerators?
Do I CT every single memory one by one?
Or Do I just think of her and feel any and every hurtful emotion?
It's usually best to clear the emotions before working on the beliefs, both erasing negative and also suggesting new, positive statements. You use the ATT and CT's and EEF's and alternate them… use the ATT only about one in every 4-5 runs of the other tracks… not too often.
Not every memory, but don't be afraid to be AWARE and list them as they come up to your consciousness. If you CT the most intense ones… or follow your inspiration on which ones to prioritize … then, quite often, others also neutralize. Just be WILLING to do them all and, most likely, you won't have to.
It's about CT'ing both imagined events (of being with her in the future) and also memories both of her and other past events that help to shape that current mind model that “gets you into trouble.”
But, as I said above, most of it starts with focusing on her and relationship and when other memories arise during your PSTEC Work, address those as well.
If you are stuck in this type of obsessive relationship, consider investing in yourself and getting a practitioner to help you out.