Reply To: how to tap feelings of guilt?
Peter BunyanHi Sidney
You, knowing that “things can get better” and moving on to “things are getting better” and eventually “things will continue to get better and better” is really the only important thing. With that kind of belief everything else from your past will become less and less important and trying to unravel the complexities of your past less useful. You sound like you are getting there.
“I try my best to imagine a good life, more than just existing, but it's not easy”
Run PSTEC Negative with “It's not easy for me to imagine a good life”. 
Follow with PSTEC Positive “It can be easy for me to imagine a good life” Or better still your words to the same effect.
Mindfulness is catching yourself with negative feelings and thoughts, then immediatly refusing to accept them, “It does not have to be this way. I refuse, the past is past! I choose to do/feel …” and repeating the last part a number of times. Your subconscious reacts faster than your conscious mind and produces old feelings, thoughts and behaviours automatically. Your conscious mind “clicks in” afterwards and so always a little late on the scene. But as soon as you can, doing something about it, will eventually create new positive ways of feeling and thinking that become automatic in place of the old negatives.
Sidney, you are going in the right direction. Keep going!
Peter