Reply To: Anxiety around other men

#24852
AvatarPeter Bunyan
PSTEC User

Hi rucron

Sad to hear that you have not made the progress you want, however, do not give up! with a bit more support and perseverance, you will get there. Success is often “just around the corner”.

You have been using the Click Tracks for some time without success and you are beginning to doubt that you will ever get there… am I right so far?

Let's give you a series of steps to take to help you get back on track.

The first point you need to get to is to really believe not just hope that this statement is true for you. “PSTEC can work well for me”.

Run that statement or your words to the same effect with PSTEC Positive, until you believe it. Ask yourself on a scale of 0-10 “How much do  believe …? 0= No way! 10 = Absolutely!

Mix in with the above listening to some PSTEC Success stories. Read some on this Forum. These to prove that if PSTEC can work for other people it can work for you as well.

Progress to “Every time I listen PSTEC works better and more effectively”. You might need to devise an intermediate step. Something like “Soon PSTEC will work more effectively for me”

Imagining the success of your statement in the near future and how good it would feel is an important part of Positive. If you cannot then it is probably a “step too far” for you. Go back a step if that is the case.

PSTEC Accelerators also boost the effectiveness of all other PSTEC packages.

Not forgetting the Click Tracks. Your current anxiety you have connected with bullying in your past. This sounds most likely to me as  you also have associated fear of harm. You have done some future “worst case” work without a lot of improvement so…

Note that elimating the fear of harm/death does not lose your survival instinct for self preservation. Your anxiety is with anticipated events that mostly do not happen and based on past experiences that are now memories and so “virtual”. When you have cleared this issue your fight/flight reaction would still “kick in” if you ever found yourself in a real dangerous situation. So have no fear… :D

As you have already done quite a lot of CT work forgive me if some of this you have already done. Otherwise I need to ask a lot more questions. The most important incidents of bullying are usually some of the earliest that you can remember and here not just the incident but the immediate aftermath. I'm having to guess here, but… what support did you get afterwards, sympathy, care, support, protection? And this from your parents, siblings, peers or teachers? The trauma is much reduced if immediately afterwards you are surrounded by care and love. It is compunded if for example you are just told to “pull yourself together””stop cying like a baby” or such like. Which might be well meant but not what you needed, emotional support. Any such lack or resentment of, gives you something else to CT. Also if you never told anyone about these incidents, why not? What fear stopped you?

If you grew up in an atmosphere of “be a man””fight back””don't be a whimp” and such, then some of this is where PSTEC Negative could be useful. If you can still hear in your mind any such uncaring things being said then these would be good targets for Negative. If when you are getting anxious as there are other men about do you have thoughts in your mind that are repeated and about the same everytime? Assuming they are negative then they are also Negative targets.

Going forwards you are aiming to change yourself into someone without these fears and anxieties. However rather than thinking of yourself as the same but without that stuff. Think of yourself as a new person like the old but naturally confident, and happy to be around other men, surrounded by friends. Your subconscious cannot handle negatives or vacuums, of being without. But being positive gives a clear indication of the changes required, of where to go to, not away from. If you find yourself “shying away” from this sort of positive then there might be some “fear of change” holding you back. If this is the case then put it in a reply and we can work on that as well.

Much more still to come but this is probably enought to give you some things to do and to think about.
Any more questions?

Peter