Reply To: Anxiety around other men
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Thanks Peter for the in depth reply! I never thought of addressing any potential resistance to PSTEC working. Rather, my outlook throughout this process has generally been positive towards PSTEC but frustrated in my results (example: “I know PSTEC works but what in the heck is going on to prevent it from helping me?”)
As for my bullying history, I always felt very much on my own and that I had little support from those around me. My father was very no nonsense and unsympathetic towards things like these. If I were to have approached him with this his only advice would have been “toughen up and go punch them in the mouth”. If I were to have gone to my mother she would have have made a dramatic spectacle of everything by going down to the school and causing a scene, thus casting even more attention on me and more potential shame and bullying from my classmates. So, I took choice three and kept quiet and internalized most of it and became a master people pleaser. Through years of conventional therapy I’ve gotten a lot better at the people pleasing tendencies but still seem to have some negative associations towards other men, especially those who remind me in some way of the people who bullied me in my early years.
However I do want to report some progress between now and when I first posted about this. After reading your response I decided to work on this from a negative/positive belief angle instead of just click tracking specific scenarios. I first ran PSTEC negative on the belief of “Other guys are out to harass and hurt me” and then PSTEC positive on the new belief of “Other guys respect me and want to be my friend” and I noticed an almost immediate shift in my thoughts and level of anxiety. I was able to test this new belief yesterday as I went to the downtown area of a city near me with a friend and there were many people out and about, including groups of men. My overall anxiety level was significantly lower and I even ended up chatting with three different guys during the day without any feelings of anxiety at all. My friend and I are amateur photographers and we both had our cameras with us which always seems to attract curiosity from passers by.
What was the most interesting was that when I would see groups of men it’s as if my brain would start to “fire” the old pattern but then the new, positive belief would immediately spring forward. Needless to say I’m very encouraged with this shift in my thinking and associations. My question now is should I do more run throughs of both the PSTEC negative and positive on these two beliefs or should I move on to other limiting beliefs on my list? This is my first real experience using both PSTEC negative and positive but I’m very encouraged with my results so far.
Thanks again for your advice and guidance