Reply To: "thin-skinned"
I am glad you are persevering with the Click Tracks. I agree with Peter that, while uncomfortable, digging into the past and neutralising past hurts is very rewarding in the long-term.
That was a great point from Jeff regarding the use of “negatives.”
It's widely accepted that the subconscious mind does not respond well to negatives, but it's a view that often goes unchallenged.
Personally, I feel that it's been conflated with “state your goals/intentions in the positive.” I agree that stating things specifically and positively tends to be preferable to negative statements (i.e. stating what you do not want, as opposed to what you do). However, I have always questioned the absolute “the mind cannot process words like *don't*”
The argument is that if you advise someone “don't do that”, the pther person's mind will omit “don't.” I disagree. It might be more elegant to state what you desire (rather than what you do not desire), but negatives can work in some cases.
Well, most of us CAN and do process words like “can't” or “don't”, in any case.
With regards to the other points, Requin, PSTEC's wonderful arsenal of tools not only allows yourself to live a life of freedom, you can also use the toolkit to cut other people some slack.
Your friend may not have intended to cause you offence, or did indeed to cause you offence *at that time*. It is worth looking at the whole picture of your friendship. Is it worth ending your friendship over these events, or could you work to a position of forgiveness and reconciliation?
I am confident that everyone reading this has, at one time or other, done or said something they deeply regret to someone (or some people) they respect deeply. And each of us have done something that has been well-intentioned but not well-received.
You mentioned that the person who has offended you “has issues.” That could well be true, but could you overlook these issues or be patient while he perhaps resolves them? Do you know for sure that he has issues?
I have tried this and, in my experience, CTing the feelings and also working to have more empathy for the behaviour of others is a potent combination.
No technology in the world can stop other people from acting from their own “mind model”; all around us, people will be doing things that we find disagreeable or damaging. However, with brilliant techologies like PSTEC, we can neutralise what these events mean to us whilst continuing to accept that people are acting out of their own mind model (and all its associated beliefs, conditionings and values).
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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