Reply To: I can’t change my programming
Good to hear from you.
I appreciate that it has been difficult for you but, while your experiences are unique to you and you have a sense that you can't change your programming, your experiences and feelings are not that unique in the wider context of humanity. For that reason, I truly believe you can resolve these issues, and transform how you feel about life, yourself and your father.
There are different ways to reach that destination, which is why there are so many different therapies, modalities and processes. Much like physical exercise, there will invariably be something that suits you.
You were not, I would contend, born with these feelings. You interpreted certain events and experiences in certain ways, whilst developing beliefs, emotions, expectations and behaviours as a result. This is perfectly natural.
It is also natural to have more than one emotion arising from a certain event, series of events or relationships. This is not unique and, in my experience, is quite common. Our minds store so much and it is not out of the ordinary to have lots of images and thoughts pop up while Click Tracking. In fact, I have seen this reported and have had this experience myself – our minds are dynamic and we do not necessarily think or act in a linear way. If we did, we would just consciously choose what to feel all the time.
The relationship with your father is a key one in your life, and you have clearly developed some beliefs and emotions as a result of this. It would make perfect sense that you would go through life feeling rejected and a bit lost, as you mentioned that your father did not engage with you.
You can try to work on the strongest emotion first, or pick one of the less intensely-felt (but still realised) emotions.
Again, the key is to TRY to focus on the emotion one track at a time. Try to focus on the feelings of “worthlessness”, for example, first. Then if, during the Click Track, you notice other emotions cropping up, work on those next. Then, go back to “worthlessness” and see if anything is still there on the 0-10 scale. Keep going until it's as close to 0 as possible.
Take as much time as you need
Your subconscious might be telling you that you need to focus on the other feelings that crop up – go with it.
I would recommend writing down what you wish to work on, and how you wish to feel instead. This will give you more areas for self-discovery and focus. For instance, you do not wish to feel the sense of rejection around your father. How would you wish to feel instead? What characteristics would you wish to embody?
We cannot change what we have experienced, but we can change our model of reality and we can change our perception of experiences. Do you have any concern about change or what might happen if you eliminated these feelings? Some people have noted that, although they wish to change, holding on to certain feelings (such as resentment) gives them a feeling of certainty or significance. This can be comforting.
There can be secondary benefits to holding certain beliefs – connection, not needing to take certain actions etc. I am not in a position to determine whether this fits your blueprint, but could any of that be true for you?
You might be surprised that neutralising certain emotions will automatically lessen or neutralise others. Sometimes we just give names to feelings, but they can be intrinsically linked. So, if you took out misery, you could potentially remove your sense of worthlessness, and vice versa. Alternatively, they could be separate slices of the same emotional pie – if you will – and would need to be addressed separately.
Please let me know what tracks you have used recently, how often you have used them and which emotions you have targeted.
Thanks for your time, Alakh, and I look forward to your reply.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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