Reply To: 23 beliefs to eliminate for natural confidence

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#25364
AvatarFrances Ponick
PSTEC User

Hi, Paul and Brian,

I agree with Brian! Loved Paul's reference—searching for programs to get rid of his computer virus and the value of believing it was possible to get rid of it—which kept him on the search until he succeeded.

I'd like to tell you how I began searching for ways to replace (rather than accommodate) my negative core beliefs, My mother experienced a lifetime of mental illness and, when nothing else helped, even voluntarily underwent electroshock therapy in the early 1970s. After she died in 2008, my dad lived for another year. Although he was 95, he stayed completely lucid until the end. During that year, he asked me some pretty interesting questions. One time he asked me, “Your mother came to believe that maybe some people can't change no matter how hard they try and no matter what they do. Do you think that's true?”

You know, guys, that took me aback. Despite all my own therapies, I didn't like who I felt I had been obliged to become, so I couldn't possibly agree! Dad got a pretty animated response: “No!” I said. “That's not true! People can change. Of course they can!”

I didn't have a clue how that could happen, and thank goodness he didn't pursue the subject. But I've explored it since August 2009. That included learning the term “core beliefs” and even corresponding with John Nutting. (He's a great guy, but after studying his approach I regretfully concluded it wouldn't work for me.) I also explored and used EFT, EMDR, and related therapies, with varying effects. True, they are faster than conventional therapies.

But it seems to me that that for these newer therapies to work at a core-belief level, a person needs to be able to hold patience, acceptance, and hope inside longer and more consistently than many patients are able to. Meditation teaches these things, but it's still hard to persevere. Perhaps I got a gift from my difficult, difficult mother, who believed that even if she couldn't change maybe change was still possible for others: Never Give Up!

The changes I experienced in just two sessions of PSTEC were faster than what I have experienced with EFT and EMDR. Each modality has its place, of course. For me, the challenge with PSTEC is figuring out what to do after exploring the free download, and I inquired about that in another post. So many choices!

Best regards,

Fran