Reply To: Always and Never in belief statements
As Brian has pointed out, there are likely beliefs propping up/supporting your negative expectation(s).
The counterexample to all statements about the future or expectations is “you cannot know for sure what might happen in the future.” Yet negative expectations might get in the way of us taking certain actions.
Have you tried CTing these imagined scenarios? I think that is a great starting-point. CT any negative emotions down to 0. In many cases, this can help eliminate the beliefs that feed into the behaviour (compulsive or avoidant).
You can also play about with the inner voice. Instead of it being “snarky and negative”, you could perhaps alter it so it is high-pitched and positive. The same words delivered with different tonality can produce a different feeling.
If your inner voice was altered so that it resembled, say, Homer Simpson or Mickey Mouse (for example)…this can shift your perception.
With CTs and playing with your inner voice, you may find that the voice will be either positive and encouraging…or simply not part of your consciousness.
“Always” and “never” are gross generalisations. Other people spill coffee or get lost, distracted or make mistakes…and can feel fine about it. What do you believe about yourself or those specific situations to be affected when they happen?
To put it another way, let's say you spilt coffee on yourself 20 times a day (still not “always”, but subjectively “a lot”)…so what? See if you can pinpoint the pattern.
As Brian intimated, getting to the core beliefs and eliminating those can transform your experience of yourself, life, other people and your expectations of all of the aforementioned.
Please let us know if that helps.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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