Reply To: Flakes
Thank you for your post.
There is no PSTEC guide for attachment theory, but you already suspect your relationships with your parents is an issue for you. Irrespective of the label, theory, diagnosis or conceptual model, I recommend just working with what you know.
Your father was avoidant, so how do and did you feel about that? Sad, angry, confused? Do any events come to mind?
I recommend picking the dominant emotion and, while thinking of the times your father has exhibited avoidant behaviour, try to feel the emotion and CT it.
After CTing down to 0 or 1, see if any other emotions come up when thinking of the same events.
Then do the same for your mother. The emotions may be different, but clear any sense of anger, frustration etc. while thinking of her being co-dependent.
While it's important that we acknowledge our history and resolve past pains, I also personally feel that it's important that you strive not to make anything a self-fulfiling prophecy or a life sentence.
Your past does not have to make relationships difficult – not inherently and certainly not when you use PSTEC systematically. We are born survivors and so many people have had extraordinary relationships – irrespective of their start in life.
This is the domain of the Belief Blasters, so please check if these beliefs resonate with you, and then eliminate them.
“I don't have what it takes”
“My family dynamic means I can never have a happy relationship”
“I'm not OK”
“I'm a fraud”
“I'm damaged goods”
After doing this, you may wish to layer in suggestions (using PSTEC Positive/Extra Power) like the following:
“On my next date, I'll just go with the flow”
“I definitely have what it takes”
“No matter what my parents were like, I'm my own man”
“Maybe I can just enjoy these dates more every time”
“The right woman is out there for me”
“It's cool that girls like dating me”
Feel free to re-word these, of course..Imagine they are already part of your reality and how good it feels when you know, for instance, “the right woman is out there for me”
Feel free to add your own. You see, you are suggesting negative things to yourself, so you might as well tip the balance.
Please let us know how it goes.
All the best,
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…