Reply To: Simple Versus Complex Beliefs
Paul! WOW! THANK YOU!
You wrote: “Could that actually be a self-defence mechanism because you fear being hurt again? In other words, might it be that you want to get in there first?”
OH MY GOODNESS. That thought had sort of flashed through my brain when I was writing it but I didn't consciously register it. THANK YOU for sussing that out and saying it back to me.
You wrote: “Abandonment” can be conceptual and does not mean that you were literally abandoned by your parents, or that this was formed as an interpretation of your parents' relationship.
So I had no idea about this, and I am so grateful for this new way to think about this concept.
You wrote: “It might well be a by-product of feeling betrayed or abandoned by friends or people you admire.”
BINGO. I didn't realize it until I read it, but yes, yes, yes . . . 1,000 times yes.
It is perfectly conceivable you might hold beliefs like:
“Everyone I like will betray me”
“There's something wrong with me”
“People can't be trusted.”
“I'm not deserving”
Are you reading my mind? These are very real core beliefs for me.
You wrote: “Even the belief “My partner is more attractive than me” is not an objective truth. Some people may say such things, but not ALL people. More importantly, if you are not saying it to yourself AND feel good about who you are, that will be empowering.”
Agreed 100%. I'm especially grateful for your insight that my thought that Ray is more attractive than me is not an objective truth. I'm thinking about Byron Katie here and the work . . . that question, “is this true?” I feel like I've had a huge paradigm shift reading this!
You wrote: “If you do hold such beliefs, it would serve you well to eliminate them with Belief Blasters.”
FOR SURE. I'm on it. I'm planning to do one a day while walking (using the 18 minute track).
You Wrote: “It seems that you already have a keen sense of various traumatic events in your life. There is more than one way to get there with PSTEC, so no pressure on that front. PSTEC is a very forgiving process.”
I love that notion of PSTEC being “very forgiving.” And yes, I do have a keen sense of the various trauma– I've tried EFT and EMDR, but for various reasons, it was hard to “feel the feeling” and my mind kept wandering . . . I think it's a combination of the tool and me being maybe finally ready to heal?
You wrote: “If you happen to have the Click Track 2015 package (http://bit.ly/clicktrack2015), I would recommend simply clearing all of these historical pains. You can bundle them together via the Wrapper track and then run one of the Click Tracks. Keep going until you get the emotional rating down to a 0 or 1.”
I don't have this package, and I very much appreciate this suggestion. I didn't even know about the “Wrapper Track” so I'll definitely procure it and use it. Fascinating! I appreciate this specific technique.
You wrote: “For events where you felt that people were picking on you, you could isolate the insult(s) (“chicken legs”, for example), imagine everyone calling you that and clear it.
I will definitely do this.
You wrote: “You can also imagine that your partner IS going to leave you and Click Track what seems to be a very visceral fear for you. Whatever you imagine, you can clear and you meet those unwanted feelings “head on” and clear them.”
I have done this once, but only once. I will do it again.
You wrote: “Once you clear these, please let us know and then we can come up with some PSTEC Positive suggestions – even though you can use these at any time, I think in this case it might be best to clear the unwanted emotional intensity first.”
Agreed– I will clear the unwanted emotional intensity first.
After my really intense day on Monday clearing all this with a combination of Belief Blasters and PSTEC Negative . . . I got really sick the next day (Tuesday). Nausea, chills, aches, physical pains, cramps in my stomach . . . and I felt a deep sadness and loneliness. Being sick and alone in a foreign country didn't help. I was wondering if I was having a “healing reaction”? I had one when I did a detox for the first time a few years ago (like a cleanse) . . . is it possible to have a detox effect from doing really intense emotional clearing?
And then I had a huge melt down with Ray (me blaming, me taking on the role of victim), but he kept me on the phone and I told him a few of the stories I described above and he was really empathetic and caring. So I feel like while it was tough, we had a pretty big breakthrough.
I'm going to do belief blasters on one of these beliefs, but just one for today. Yesterday was pretty intense!
I am so grateful to you for being willing to offer me such concrete help and advice!