Reply To: Bully in the gym

Paul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Clearingman,

    Thanks for your post.

    Yes, you are correct that it is not always appropriate to add the opposite of an unwanted belief – generally, this would be a good approach with negative self-esteem beliefs.

    So, when I mention logically countering the belief, I mean that you can think of the events and logically counter the beliefs you formed.

    So, as you think of those events, you came up with “It was bad to hurt people”

    Some counterexamples about hurting people might be:

    “It was bad to hurt THOSE people, but sometimes people get hurt in life and people learn important lessons as a result”

    “Sometimes, in self-defence, people might have to be hurt to protect myself and others.This can save lives”

    “Hurting people might be bad if I do it intentionally”

    “Hurting people was just a consequence of what was going on at that time. The context is different now.”

    “People can be hurt in combat sports and this is part of the game.”

    “Sometimes people are hurt if they are overly sensitive and getting hurt CAN build character and resolve”

    So, this is not me saying “hurting people is good”, but just that “hurting people is bad” is not an objective truth. If someone has been violent in the past and hurt people, they could use these experiences as a catalyst to changing how they react.

    That is why I would not recommend layering in an opposite suggestion like “Hurting people is good” with one of the Positive tracks.

    Instead, you can layer in (with PQT) suggestions like Brian has put forward and “I can forgive myself for times when I hurt people”, “I was always a good person, even if I hurt people” or “hurting people made me realize there's a better way to solve situations”

    Hope that helps.

    Paul  :D

    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

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