Reply To: Removing all resentment and getting back together with a person?
Brian TuckerIn3deep – Paul is indeed correct in that PSTEC can absolutely straighten this out as if it never happened. Been there more times than I can count in my life. Completely know how you feel. Yes, it hurts.
Ok, So you have a few things going on here… Resentment, Betrayal, Jealousy, Envy and I'm sure you have some comparison, worth (not loved, not liked, not worthy, deprived etc.) and fear (abandonment, rejection) issues also playing in. Also shame and embarrassment. The shame is driving a lot of your anger.
You may also look at what you believe about “cheating” this is not technically cheating but clicktracking feelings around”stealing my girlfriend is bad” leaving for another guy is just wrong” cheating is horrible” “lying and sneaking is bad” “women can't be trusted” “being unloyal is wrong” etc. These are not solid beliefs per se but just some examples of more things going through your head. Sit and make a definitive list of everything about this that is wrong, bad, hurtful to you. Then rate them all on a scale of 1-10 most painful. Start with the worst painful and work your way down the list.
All of these issues (thoughts and feelings) are all playing back from your childhood in the present. They are larger than you can see right now. As you clicktrack them, think back as far as you can to your childhood when something similar happened. Most likely with your mom or a very early girlfriend (probably both). This is where you want to work.
If your parents were divorced you will probably soon notice that all of this is a replay of what you saw at that time. You learned by watching them behave and so that is how your subconscious tells you to think feel and behave in the present.
If they weren't divorced, you have been put in a situation that you aren't emotionally equipped to handle. That's completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
The good news is you have the tools to work through this. Did your mom leave you or abandon you? I would start there. Also deal with the shame going back to a early “dumped” and grammar school sweetheart that was stolen from you from another boy.
Let us know more info about this past stuff we can help a little more.
Thank you for sharing.
p.s. One thing that might help you is to ct the following…
Imagine this is the most absolute extremely important thing in your life and that it will never go away and stop. CT that feeling to a 1 or 0
Imagine that you will never be able to survive this ordeal and the pain and turmoil will never stop. CT to a 1 or 0
– she has no interest in you? (YES, suffice she had not put in any effort to reconnect with me)
^^ CT any expectation that she will get back with you to a ZERO. Take it to an extreme and CT feelings of you getting back together that are not JEEP.