Reply To: Phobia being around loud and verbally aggressive people

Paul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi PhotoguyOC,

    Thanks for your update and it is great to learn you have made some shifts.

    Sometimes it is just a case of using the Click Tracks in a slightly different way , or targeting a repressed emotion and making it as visceral as possible.

    I would suggest that clearing the anger first would be the smart play and then go for the fear.

    Some of the beliefs I suggested will have both been born from the fear and created more of it. It can become like a loop.

    The reason I would suggest getting rid of those beliefs is that beliefs shape our experience of the world.

    You may hold a belief like “It was dangerous to feel safe.”

    If someone walks into a nightclub or bar and feels safe and believes that they are safe…they will have a different experience than someone who believed they were in danger and that people were out to get them.

    The delusion we all have or have had is that having the fear (and behaving in accordance with it) and the beliefs has kept us safe.

    We can have the knowledge and make a more informed decision when we feel neutral or more neutral in a situation.

    So, if we believe we are going to be attacked, that belief creates an expectation and creates behaviours. It would mean you are always on-guard and in “reactive mode.” Moreover, it robs you of presence and enjoyment.

    Eliminating a belief like “people were out to get me” moves it from an absolute to just one possibility that “maybe those people were out to get you, but it didn't mean everyone was or would be.”

    You can come up with numerous counterexamples for every unwanted belief you hold.

    In general, I have found that a more powerful frame is:

    “Anything can happen to anyone at any time, so I'll enjoy life as best as I can”

    That is a really powerful perspective, I have discovered – not Pollyanna in the slightest. It accepts that anything can happen (you can CT the worst-case scenarios and, because of that, you can embrace life more)

    The truth is, that people can act in a multitude of ways, but being conditioned to expect danger does not make it any less likely to happen.

    I can assure you that, not only will you enjoy your experience of life more when you decondition the fear and eliminate the beliefs, you will likely be better able to discern the real danger and be able to respond to it.

    This will be experiential, however, so once the fear is eradicated…you'll see how this plays out.

    Please keep the thread updated with your progress.

    All the best,

    Paul  :)

    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

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