Reply To: Phobia being around loud and verbally aggressive people

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September 3, 2018 at 9:54 pm#26292
PhotoguyOC
PSTEC User

    Thanks Paul, you guys are the best!

    So after I posted my update earlier today I noticed that I was still feeling irritable and mildly angry after my first pass at click tracking the anger from yesterday so I ran the 14 minute “medium” click track and decided to just click on the anger and go wherever it took me.  All I can say is, HOLY CRAP what a tsunami of emotions!  As I began tapping on the irritability, it quickly became intense anger and again I found myself silently screaming at anyone I could think of who upset me, almost as if I was on auto pilot.  At close to the 10 minute mark, the anger began to shift towards sadness and then the tears came.  And I don’t mean a cute single tear like you see on TV, but full on uncontrollable sobbing!  The crying at times got so bad I was gasping for air and silently yelling out “IT’S NOT FAIR!!!” What's strange is there was no conscious thought during all of this, those words just came out of my mouth.  I guess it was my sub finally having its say?

    What I thought would be a single run through of the 14 minute click track became three consecutive plays and the tears and anger just kept coming.  Finally I needed a break so I stopped after the third click track run through but I’m suspecting there’s still more emotion left in the tank, so to speak.  After my click track sessions I went about my day, worked out, did some chores and took a nap.  Now that a few hours have passed I feel slightly more peaceful but I can feel some anxiety still in the background. 

    I’ll definitely start working on the beliefs next (using both the BB and PTQT).  As far as the anger goes, is it something that eventually subsides, similar to emptying water out of a large jug, or is it unhealthy for me to keep focusing on it and click tracking?  I can think of a lot of things I’d rather be doing than dwelling on anger every day but will stick with it if it’s part of a clearing process  ;)

    Thanks again, I’ll keep updating this thread as I go!