Reply To: Phobia being around loud and verbally aggressive people

Paul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi PhotoguyOC,

    Thanks for your updates.

    Further to what Brian has written, I just want to point out a few other distinctions.

    Something is only a problem, if you perceive it to be. One person's problem is another person's dream.

    Consciously, it seems that getting rid of those beliefs would invite more danger. In truth, they would get rid of the emotional experiences and the meanings you attribute to certain events. You can still consciously assess situations but, with the panic removed, it frees you up to discern if something genuinely does seem dangerous. It is one reason why top surgeons are so vital – they can assess based on facts.

    A belief like “fear kept me safe” is not inherently true. Fear can get triggered for any reason, and can sometimes prevent people from making rational decisions. However, if you do see a value in feeling fearful in some contexts, you can choose to keep ANY emotion or response you deem to be valuable.

    Everything makes sense to your subconscious mind and it can be programmed. Similar to Pavlov's Dogs who salivated every time the bell was rung, as they expected a serving of food, you are conditioned to expect danger every time you hear (what you perceive to be) aggressive exchanges or cursing. You do NOT have to have that response.

    There is a logic to this – as you were bullied, aggression and cursing were probably present. You were hurt and felt endangered. This makes absolute sense. Most people who had similar experiences to you would typically respond with “fight or flight”, which is actually the dilemma you proposed in your example.

    As you may have consciously assessed, however, there are times when aggression and cursing did not result in any danger to you.  Your sub just did the pattern-matching for you – “when there is shouting, danger is imminent.”

    As well as helping ensure your survival, your subconscious also deals with permanent memory and emotions.

    I sense that you perceive this to be a problem, as doing the whole “fight or flight” dance can be exhausting. It is like a smoke alarm that is set to high sensitivity. Imagine how quickly the battery would run down if, at the first sign of steam or smoke (e.g. when taking a shower, or boiling an egg) the alarm would be triggered.

    I had this happen to me earlier in the year actually and, while it was good to know the alarm worked well, I was less thrilled when it got triggered every 30 minutes when it detected dust  :D

    You would surely want the alarm to be programmed to only be able to discern real smoke.

    This is analogous to your subconscious. It works, it keeps you safe but it seems to be overactive in this particular case.

    Eliminating the beliefs I cited does not turn off the “alarm”, as it were. It makes everything work more efficiently and allows you to respond to situations more appropriately.

    In other words, if you were literally being attacked, you would have more than two options and could respond in creative ways – you can use PSTEC to imagine those.

    Additionally, whenever you dissolve your fears, you might be pleasantly surprised that they very rarely come to fruition anyway. Even if they did, as you have already dealt with them in mind, they show up differently and you would find new resources within yourself.

    So, if you have CT2015 ( I would recommend that you use those. They have additional suggestions about safety. And you can blast the associated beliefs. Again, it is a matter of choice and my intention is not go dictate what you must do, but providing a context of what is possible.

    Best Regards,

    Paul  :)

    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

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