Reply To: Really struggling with not being able to have sex
TheHealingThanks, those are some I didn't think of Brian.
I've been doing a few of these. Not daily, because the time it takes up to do the processes with the other things i'm doing. Maybe a few times a week. Though it's been about a week since the last one.
A few i've done.
BB – Sex was the most important thing in the world for me.
PQT – I can find more to enjoy in life other than just sex.
I noticed after this a bit of a shift the next day, that I wasn't as obsessive at looking at girls at the gym. And some I really was attracted to I realized “All I wanted was sex, she doesn't have much else I care about” and wasn't interested in her. That only really lasted that day.
Also briefly I went down the street and the world seemed like a different place, like I could just enjoy going to the supermarket. And I could look at girls but it wasn't the only thing, I could just enjoy being in the world.
BB – Life was meaningless without sex.
PQT – I can find more to enjoy in life other than just sex.
BB – Getting sex with attractive girls was the only way I could be worthy.
PQT – I’m absolutely worthy enough exactly as I already am now.
BB – If I can’t have sex then it means i'm worthless.
This BB process was more intense than others I remember, I actually had sadness and tears in my eyes and my arms covering myself up as if I was protecting myself. I haven't that that during BB before and i've done a fair few in the past.
PQT – I know I’m absolutely worthwhile now.
I noticed at the gym the next day I felt good about myself and how I look even if i've lost weight with what i'm dealing with.
BB – I need validation from girls to be worthwhile.
PQT – I am absolutely worthwhile now.
Felt especially insecure the next day. 2 days later felt different, more comfortable and talkative.
BB – I need attention from girls to be worthwhile.
PQT – I am absolutely worthwhile now.
The next I was inspired to go out of the house but then the frustration and depression around not being able to have sex when I seen attractive girls was pretty strong.
The next day I felt pretty good going to a market with a friend, I noticed I talked to some girls working at the stalls without caring about trying to get anything.
And today especially annoyed a girl at the gym wasn't giving me attention and insecure.
I plan to do another few tomorrow. But i'm noticing I usually feel worse the next day, and 2 days later feel good and notice a bit of a shift. Then it comes back stronger.
Tomorrow I will do BB If I don’t get attention from girls it means I’m nothing.
And i'll come up with something for PQT.
But it kind of seems hopeless, it always just comes back. The obsession and frustration. I guess spending about 40 minutes for a bit of relaxation from it a few days later for a few hours you could say is worth it.. but it just seems endless.
I say that in feeling it was the same in the past doing PSTEC on other things. Like doing well with girls with it before this health stuff, more than in a while but when I stopped it the insecurities and stuff come back and it didn't stick.
Unfortunately those insecurities have got worse with the health issues too. But even back then i'd have to keep at it almost every day for things to keep going or it would kind of stop.