Reply To: PSTEC for suicidality & bipolar


    The death wishes have come a lot more often this last week 1/2.  Yesterday I was so worried and distracted that I got very little done at work and less at home.  (Thankfully my boss didn't notice or really care & I did do a piece of art that is related to the summer reading theme.  I didn't do housework, but the kids and I had a bike ride & some nice times.)

    When I finally took alone time at 8 PM I tapped on “feeling helpless” with the cost of health care- natural & preventative and Sarah's mouth breathing…

    Then I did “feeling scared.”  I fell asleep during this.  Woke up turned it off and took a nap.  I wanted to do more but instead I was refreshed enough to function.  The rest and clicking restored me to read 3 chapters of our story (something I rarely do.)

    This morning I woke up prayerful and thankful.  Living in fear was clear to me, just like Kasey Musgraves “Rainbow,”  Everything is fine, but I've been panicked out of habit.

    It's my day off so i have time to tap and catch up on the house.  I thought that Sarah's mouth breathing isn't an immediate problem and we'll get it under control in the next year.  Yes I want it done now without spending a fortune. ($3,000 palalte expander, $250-$400 for allergist appointment +$60 per alergy test, $100 for natural health, $50 for chiropractor energy work that we are waiting to reopen).  Yes I'm unsure what will work and if we're spending the right place.  Yes I'm in a hustle about insurance… but we'll get it under control.  With her using essential oils instead of antibiotics for her sore throats we've made a great improvement in the last 3 months.  With her waring nose strips some nights we've made another and we are on the path the fixing the rest.

    Clicked on needing a new furnace and medical cost.  My husband isn't afraid of either.

    As it got close to time, I got anxious about visiting Grandma (my goal at 2:00)
    BB-I didn't have time to do what I enjoy