Reply To: Getting rid of attachment

#26695
Paul McCabePaul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Ej,

Thanks for posting

I appreciate you sharing what you have shared.

I may need to know a little more about the situation, as I do not wish to presume.

You mentioned that you are in a long term relationship. It strikes me that you have experienced some guilt and regret about this situation.

Before meeting the other girl, were you happy in the relationship? I know “happy” can seem all-encompassing. I do not mean “is your relationship perfect?” Rather, are you happy for the most part within it?

Are you generally happy in other areas of your life?

What is it about the girl you like?

Is there anything about your partner you don't like?

I only ask this, because I find it is better to have a context for the situation. In other words, if there are problems within your current relationship, those can be addressed with the PSTEC tools. For instance, if someone didn't feel appreciated or felt they were taken for granted, another person showing them interest can spark the sort of thoughts you have been having. That is just an example, though, as I do not know enough about your particular situation.

There is no “one size fits all” here but, as you feel bad about the situation, CTing those heavy  feelings would be a useful strategy. Getting rid of guilt will take the steam out of the situation. Getting rid of guilt does not alter your values or ethics.

Then, you could CT any desire you have for the girl. The Click Tracks allow you to neutralise any unwanted emotion. Therefore, you can neutralise positive emotions linked to behaviours you wish to avoid. Effectively, you could try to feel the desire and CT it down to 0 or 1. You could do this with any of the Click Tracks.

If you intend to use PSTEC on a variety of issues, Click Track 2015 (http://bit.ly/clicktrack2015) is a great choice, as it is extremely comprehensive and would allow you to clear things in a very efficient manner.

It would also be very prudent to hunt out and eliminate the beliefs that are feeding this pattern.

This thread may also prove helpful:

http://pstecforum.com/pf/relationships-and-rejection/male-insecurity/

I do have lots of other suggestions, but don't want to overload you. I also look forward to your reply.

Please let us know how you get on, Ej, and please continue to dialogue with us.

All the best,

Paul  :)


Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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