Reply To: INTRO. and Game Plan Needed.

#28230
Paul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Michael,

Thanks for your reply and for clarifying what you have been addressing.

The good news is that you do not have to figure it all out. There does not have to be some big Eureka moment or magic phrase. There can be, but it is not essential.

Equally, you have had a lifetime of experiences and a mix of emotions, so finding a perfect statement to encapsulate it all is not necessary.

Just work through the things that bother you, and remove the programming that no longer serves you – it may have served you at some point, but you can change the programming.

Decondition the emotions you no longer wish to feel, the beliefs that no longer give you the experiences you desire and layer in suggestions that give you healthier perspectives about yourself, life, people and your own brilliance.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Firstly, with regards to the stumbling block you have hit:</p>
This can happen. This is effectively being generated by your subconscious mind, which is trying to maintain the status quo. This is perfectly normal.

Your words seem to indicate the underlying beliefs (or earlier decisions) that are contributing to the pattern, so you can take them out… a piece at a time:

– “I am worthless” 

– “I am not worth it” 

– “I am going to fail” 

– “Change is overwhelming” (check to see if “Change is dangerous” resonates with you) 

– “Anger is dangerous” 

– “I am dangerous” 

– “It is dangerous to express how I really feel” 

– “If I change, something bad will happen” 

– “I have to hide my bad feelings” 

Say these out loud. Check to see whether they feel true, heavy or painful.

You may consciously disagree with a belief. However, if saying a belief statement feels resonant, it is evidence that you hold it.

You can contrast this by saying something that you absolutely know to be untrue (e. g. “I am from Mars”), and something that is emotionally neutral that you know to be true (“My name is Michael”).

Now, in terms of the belief statements you chose, I have a few points.

For instance, “I used to be out of control” would typically work better as

– “I was out of control” 

It tends to work much more effectively if you put the original belief statement into the past tense. If the present tense version of the belief is “I am bad”, you could use “I was bad” – “I used to be bad” or “I used to believe I was bad” aren’t following the same structure.

“I used to feel out of control” is more of an accurate assessment of how you felt and thus would probably not work as well as a belief to blast. You probably DID feel out of control (based on other beliefs you hold) and this would represent your reality. You are not trying to argue with reality, per se, but the particular interpretations you came up with to explain reality.

What does it mean about you or about life that you felt out of control?

See if any other beliefs come to mind.

“I am…”, “It is not…”, “Being out of control is…”

Just to further illustrate this point…

Suppose someone fell over in a crowded street and felt embarrassed. The fact they fell over is a reality. The fact that they felt embarrassed is true.

If they tried to get rid of the beliefs “I fell over” and “I was embarrassed”, this would not do a lot. It is much better to look for the beliefs that created the embarrassment and the conclusions he/she reached about him or herself, or about other people, based on the event. For example, “I am an embarrassment”, “Everyone is laughing at me”, “It is bad to make mistakes in front of people.”

Please apply the above suggestions to the other beliefs you cited and any others you unearth. Look for the causal beliefs and the conclusions you reached earlier in your life. The core beliefs tend to be very simplistic in structure.

For example, “I used to feel I was not important enough to be heard”…

Think back to the earlier times in your life where you likely made that conclusion.

How would a child say that?

It will tend to be quite succinct – like “I am invisible” or “Nobody cares about me.”

If those statements resonate, put them into the past tense and Belief Blast them.

The PQT suggestions look good. I just recommend fine-tuning some of them, so that they are more positive.

You could try this:

“Maybe it is possible to express anger in a safe and elegant way”

For any anger you experience when people disagree, this tends to be generated by beliefs like “I have to control what others think”, “I can’t handle people disagreeing with me” and “If people disagree with me, something bad will happen.”

You would surely benefit from eliminating those, if you do hold them (do check).

You could also CT any anger you feel whilst imagining people disagreeing with you or trying to “make you wrong.”

After that, a suggestion like “I am safe to feel absolutely calm when someone disagrees with me now” could be layered in with a PQT.

I hope this helps, Michael.

Please keep us updated.

Paul 😊


Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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