Don’t Feel
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Jeff HardingHi Jeff,
I have been having a discussion with Cynthia and see has STRONGLY suggested that I write to you about it.
The thread is at…
http://pstecforum.com/pf/feelings-ratings-suds-and-the-level-of-your/how-do-you-work-with-this-when-you-don%27t-%27feel%27/I was wondering if you could read it and add your input.
Thanks a lot in advance for your help.
Russ
Jeff Harding
Hi Russ,
Wonder no more… here we go! :- )
Ok, well much of what you have written is right on and in the right direction and the intention is there as well… problem is that there are some intentions within the subconscious (sub) that are contrary, so a stalemate is the likely outcome.
Here is one example as I see from your writing…
An one hand it seems there is a sub belief or thought that, “Why feel the emotions? All I remember from the past is the negative. Anger is destructive and violent. Sadness hurts. Any joy was always taken away. I don't need the pain. If I am numb I am safe.”
Then, on the other hand or through our conscious thoughts, you have, “I know in my head that if I connect with the emotions and events from the past I can clear them and find a lot more joy and fulfillment in my life…. BUT I know it can be done. And I AM going to do it.”
Now, the last sentence is the your conscious mind's plan to use its Conscious Will to force the sub to submit and, my friend, sorry to say, my wager is on the sub. :- (
So, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I like some of your other conscious thoughts about…
“I know that my subconscious mind does a good job of trying to protect me and that it wants only what is best for me.
I know that it is a good friend and not an enemy for me to fight.
I know that it is just working with old programs that just don't serve me anymore.
I know that it wants to stay with what is familiar and doesn't want to change.”So, you see, finding harmony with the conscious and sub is Truly the ONLY sane method and, let's be honest, the only way to find permanent changes and True J.E.E.P. in Life!
Ok… this is a little tough to do via email, so you should seriously consider finding someone that can help you along to ask the “tough questions” that will get to your sub because quite often, when we work on our own, we are asking the questions from the conscious mind and answering with the conscious mind. There is a crass way to describe that, but I won't use it here. Suffice it to say that, quite often, we are not Truly getting to the source of the issue because of this.
I would suggest going to the PSTEC Registry and finding someone to work with… this is the kind of work that can be done over the phone so geography is not an issue per se.With that said, here are some suggestions to help you along with the issue of “no feelings”:
- Consider the use of the PSTEC Accelerators… very powerful in pulling the junk up from the sub that needs to be cleared… in fact, be careful to follow the instructions very literally and carefully because misuse of them can be quite uncomfortable. But, if used correctly, you will move through your issues quickly and smoothly.
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- If the emotions are not there or not strong, begin a more liberal use of the PSTEC Positive. This will provoke the sub to object to the Positive statement with the “counter intentions.” When they arise, use the Click Tracks to neutralize them.
You might even use the PP with a statement around the belief that you allow your feelings and emotions freely and effortlessly from the sub and you honor and respect the sub for communicating clearly to your conscious mind.
- You gotta be excellent at asking the tough questions (other than going to someone to help you) and that means understanding when answers are coming from your conscious mind. For example, you might ask yourself, “How do I feel about a memory about being bullied by someone?” Now, knowing that it was, say decades ago and that you went through a growth spurt a couple years later and, in fact, played sports and no one ever picked on you again, you might say, “Nah, it's fine…it all turned out ok.” You see, that's not the sub, that's the conscious mind “thinking” it's way out and using logic to “justify” ignoring it. But, it may be locked up in there because something like you said, “If I am numb I am safe.” So, you must put yourself in that memory…really put yourself there and think, if you were experiencing it now, RIGHT NOW, how would you feel. You see, another logical thought of the conscious mind is that it was past so it's not important because now I am safe from the bully.
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So, questions that are handled properly can begin to expose the feelings and memories as well.Most importantly, it may take some time for you to let them through.
Be patient… be gentle as well.
Does that make sense and help get you on the path?
Aloha!
Jeff
Jeff HardingHi Jeff,
I guess that there is no more wondering. < ;o) Thank you for responding. There is a lot of good info there. I bought the level 1 pack last night and I will be listening to the intro information over the next couple of days. As I look back over what I have written I realize that the answer might be a lot more simple than I thought it would be. Whenever we are working with anything one of the most important things is making sure that we are working with the correct premises. Gary Craig talked a lot about the handwriting on the walls in his Palace of Possibilities.
We use those reference points for everything that we experience now.
They become the premises that we work with in our lives.As you read through what I have written in my thread, what is one of the BIG premises that you see me working with?
“All I remember from the past is the negative.
Anger is destructive and violent.
Sadness hurts.
Any joy was always taken away.
If I am numb I am safe.”How much would those basic premises affect my life?
What if those premises were wrong?
What would happen if I could change some of those basic premises?
“All I remember from the past is the negative.” could become something like “I remember a lot of negative in my past and I know that there was a lot of positive there too.”
“Anger is destructive and violent.” could become “There were some people in my past who responded to anger with violence. I know that I can chose to respond to anger in ways that are useful and constructive.”
“Sadness hurts.” could become something like “With any loss there is a grieving period. Once I can let go of what I have lost I am free.”
“Any joy was always taken away.” can become “When I was young I let others be responsible for the joy in my life. I also gave them the power to take it away. Now I know that I am responsible for the joy in my life and no one can take that away from me.”
“If I am numb I am safe.” becomes ” if I am numb I don't get to enjoy all of the wonderful things in life. I know that life will have it's ups and downs and I know that I can easily work with the downs and really enjoy the wonderful things that life has to offer me. I chose to be open to both. I know that I am safe”
As I said, I haven't listened to the intro on level 1 yet so I don't know how to work with that to change the old premises.
I have studied EFT and have my advanced certification an so I know that I can change some of the premises with that.
I believe that as I change the premises by working in partnership with the subconscious mind a lot more of the memories will come up for me, both positive and negative.
I want to focus on the positive emotions and memories in my past so that I don't feel like I am just working with negative stuff.
I feel like a balance is needed.
Yes, I AM working with Cynthia's idea of thinking about things that make me smile. < :o) Once I can get in touch, even a little bit, with my emotions and know that they are not “fire breathing dragons” as Cynthia puts it, I think that others will come up and I will be able to work with them. I will be able to connect with the past issues and event emotionally and clear the ones that don't serve me.
I will also be able to enhance the ones that do serve me.Through all of this I will be thanking the subconscious mind for how hard it has worked to protect me in the past and giving it different ways to serve me now.
After all, it is my friend and we can work together to have a fun and exciting life.I would love to hear your thought on this approach.
Thank you for all that you do.
Russ
Hi Russ,
You're always welcome because either we ALL awaken or not at all. So, each time someone takes the steps you are taking, there is an undeniable reason to feel joy and more peace for all of us! So, keep up the good work (play?)!!
I believe all that you have said here is in alignment with what I mentioned previously… let's take a look why I am saying that, ok?
I mentioned 3 things… let's look at each one at a time…
- Consider the use of the PSTEC Accelerators… you know what's interesting about this tool? It allows the stuff that needs to be brought up and healed or cleared to do just that. I appreciate your thoughts that “I want to focus on the positive emotions and memories in my past so that I don't feel like I am just working with negative stuff.” Excellent because there's is hope that you are not addicted to the “negative” nor the “self help” quest which puts you in perpetual motion of always trying to find something new to play with (aka: The Shiny Bauble Syndrome). So, why the Accelerators? Because they will bring the junk up quickly that is in the way, so that you can move forward to the “positive” or the statements and thoughts about what you either desire to experience or “ought” to experience. Allows you to move forward more quickly! (My opinion here: That's a good thing!)
- If the emotions are not there or not strong, begin a more liberal use of the PSTEC Positive. Ah, those empowering “reframes” that you mentioned that are the opposite of the current beliefs…. wonderful start!!! Now, take those and plug them into the subconscious (it will take much more quickly) with the PSTEC Positive Tracks. Ok, once again, be aware that “things” may come up that are in the way… emotions, feelings, thoughts, images, memories, etc. The sub is presenting these to you for either compliance or for healing… so, decide and take action. Yes, if you do nothing and ignore them, that is an action too, but not one of healing. So, if more junk comes up, plug the junk into the Click Tracks, EEF's or Accelerator Tapping Tracks. Move that junk out of the way and go back to the PSTEC Positive with your reframes.
- You gotta be excellent at asking the tough questions. I believe you are already on track here and putting yourself through the blender… shaking things up… hey, if it don't work, let it be broken and replace it with something that works!!! Keep asking the “tough” questions so that you can either come up with the junk that needs healing so that you free yourself up and/or so that you can allow the desires of your heart… dare I say… the Desires of Source… into your experience… into your Life.
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All three of these will also allow those feelings to seemingly surface, when, in reality, they were there, you just thought you had to keep them down, ignore them or banish them. Nope, just let them and the other stuff come on through.Make sense?
Aloha!
Jeff
Jeff HardingHi Jeff,
Thank you for your reply.
I got the PSTEC Accelerators.
Now I have the basics, the Level 1 and the accelerators.
I have been pretty busy and have not had the time to listen to the intro info on all of them yet.
I will make the time to listen to all of the intro info on Sunday.Hopefully, once I listen to them, I will have a good idea what order to do things in.
I will reread you last post then and it will make more sense.
I have no idea what you mean when you say plug the stuff into the tracks.
I imagine that I will understand that better as I go.I've got a feeling that this is going to be an interesting ride.
Any advise for a beginner like me would be great.
Any words of caution before I turn on the blender?I'll let you know how things are going as I go along.
I AM going to be one of the success stories.
Thanks again for all of your help so far.
By the way, what is the “True J.E.E.P. in life”?
I'll talk with you soon.
Russ
Hey Russ,
You're always welcome, my good man!!
Ok, “…plug the stuff into the tracks.” I just mean take your issue you are working on with both the emotion/feeling and the memory/imagined event and then focus on it per the instructions while using the Click Track (CT), EEF or Accelerator Tapping Track (ATT).
Also, you can take your desires and “plug them into the tracks” as well… meaning that you are using the PSTEC Positive Track to install that statement into the subconscious.
Ah, J.E.E.P. (joy, enthusiasm, excitement, peace) are the feelings that usually come through when you are in alignment with Source… when you are allowing your uhane nui (spiritual greatness) to come through and manifest in your physical reality. Or, you might also say, when you are connected with Source/Universe/God. When that happens, then live Life by doing the Two -Step… get quiet and listen and the perfect ideas for action will come to you!
Ok, so when you are not feeling J.E.E.P. or you feel false-J.E.E.P. (I'll save that one for another time), it's back to the fundamentals. Take the feeling and be aware of memories that remind you of those feelings… pair them up… focus and use the CT, EEF or ATT.
Simple, yah?
So, what to do when starting…
Take it slow because it's not only about clearing things, but allowing your mind to learn a new way of operating.
Use the Basic two CT's first on some issues and get familiar. You can also begin to use the EEF's in rotation with the CT's. Notice they are numbered 01, 02, 03 and 04 because the Basic CT and the EEF's are actually all CT's… it's just that the EEF's are a bit more powerful.
Then, when that make sense, introduce the Accelerators in your PSTEC play (work? Nah!) per the instructions by mixing the ATT's about once every few times with the CT's and EEF's. Also, be sure to use the relaxation tracks of the Accelerator package as instructed.
Just start picking off the memories that come up that are unpleasant… start a journal or list of them and begin crossing them off as you list them and neutralize them.
Great place to start.
Aloha!
Jeff
Jeff HardingHi Jeff,
I read through all of the intro material and started working with the basic track on being afraid of feeling my emotions.
Then I went to the positive track with feeling safe with my emotions.
Let me backtrack here for a moment.
All of my life I have taken care of myself.
I have been the Lone Ranger in a lot of ways.
As far as other people are concerned, it has always been about doing for them.
If I keep them happy I won't get hurt. Yeah, right!Part of the work that I have been doing is getting in touch with that little kid that ran away and hid a long time ago.
I have been able to connect with him a certain amount.When I ask him what he wants he let's me know that he wants to just be held like he never was as a kid.
One of the things that I have been looking for is the same thing.I'm tired of being strong.
I'm tired of having to have all of the answers.
I just want to be held for a while.
Maybe I'll laugh and maybe I'll cry.
I want to be able to be vulnerable.
I want to reach out to others when I hurt.
I want to feel accepted and safe.A couple of days ago I was talking to a female friend of mine and her husband about the wanting to be held like my little kid wanted.I wasn't asking her to do it.
I was just telling her what I was looking for.She suggested that I try and hold my little kid myself.
I went very cold and left a few minutes later.
When I got home I realized that I was furious.
I am finally allowing myself to be vulnerable and reach out to someone else and I am told to do it myself!!???
I've done for myself all my life because it never felt OK to reach out.
Now I reach out and get THAT reaction!
%^*&(#%$&&!!!
I was livid.
Then I realized that I was livid and that felt great!
I'm feeling….
A part of me wants to tap that away and a part of me wants to keep it.
It doesn't feel great but it IS a feeling.
Part of me is afraid that if I tap it away I will go back to numb.
Part of me knows that it's not true.I WILL tap it away and do more with the positive tracks.
Here is the crazy thing about it all.
I am no longer sure what I am angry about.
Is it about her response or am I angry at myself for putting myself in such a vulnerable position.
Here goes the mind playing with the mind again. Yes, I know the crass name for that.
It's time to tap that out and do more positive tracks.
Ideas, comments and/or suggestions are very welcome.
Are we having fun yet?
Russ
Hi Russ,
Ah, you must be having fun because you are doing your HomePLAY!
Mmmmmmmmmmm, nice job on the feelings, by the way… excellent on allowing!
Three main things here…
1. There is some truth in what your friend said…more than perhaps even she knows. If you do learn to hold yourself (maybe not physically, but spiritually, if you will) and you get fulfillment from that thought, then you no longer have to depend upon someone else to find your peace. Now, I know you have been dependent upon yourself all your life and don't want to have to do it all anymore, and that thought is just very disconcerting. So, look at those thoughts of having to do it on your own and also upon the emptiness that you feel and allow the feelings to come through and then also allow the memories to surface so that you can run the CT on them.
2. Do not analyze as you started here, “I am no longer sure what I am angry about.
Is it about her response or am I angry at myself for putting myself in such a vulnerable position.” Just take those feelings and ask some of the basic questions, like:
* When was the last time you felt this way?
* What about an earlier time… and an earlier time… and an earlier time?
* When was the first time you felt that way?Again, don't analyze, but use the feelings to guide you to the place or the memories that are the source of the emotion. Let your subconscious present these opportunities to neutralize them and heal.
3. Here are some suggested positive statements from Tim himself… use these with PSTEC Positive:
a) “When I listen to the click tracks I follow the instructions because they are important”
b) “I want to feel what happened when ………. so the click tracks will be able to quickly help me.”
c) “I want to gently release my emotions to enjoy my life and to do so completely”Repeating these a few times before doing anything else may well pay dividends. Of course a genuine intention and desire to do this so as to be happy is important.
These are very carefully worded and so should be used verbatim.
Again, excellent work, Russ… your sub is beginning to loosen up and give up da goods! Accept the gift and return the favor… give thanks!
Aloha!
Jeff
Jeff HardingHi Jeff,
Thank you.
Yes, I DID allow and feel that.
A little story here.
About 3 months ago I woke up with a very sore lower back.
I could hardly get out of bed.Being the lower back, I knew that it had to do with support.
I tried EFT on feeling like I wasn't getting the support that I felt that I needed.
That didn't help.As I looked deeper I found that it was really about not asking for support.
When I tapped on all of the reasons that I didn't ask for support having to do with all of the messages from the past the back pain went away.The big message that I got from that is that it is OK to ask for support.
For most of my life I have been the poster child for Simon and Garfunkel's song “I am a rock, I am an island.”
If I needed to I could do that for the rest of my life.
I don't want to.
I spent time working on finding my little child.
I coaxed him out of a deep dark hiding place.
I have spent time with him to get him to trust me.
It took a long time for me to get him to even let me hold his hand.I did Matrix Patterning with someone and had my little child visit his grandfather and ended up with him sitting on his grandfathers lap and just being held for a while.
That never did happen in real life but he loved it.No, the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and real memories.
He didn't trust because no one was ever there for him.
He was accident prone because the only time his mother paid any sort of positive attention to him is when he got hurt. That is the only time he ever got held or heard.Let me see if I am hearing your advice right here.
I realize that I may be misreading it.“So, look at those thoughts of having to do it on your own and also upon the emptiness that you feel and allow the feelings to come through and then also allow the memories to surface so that you can run the CT on them.”
I don't like the idea of always having to do it on my own.
Maybe if I tap on it long enough I can reach the point where I will be OK with doing it on my own for the rest of my life.
The emptiness feels like crap (Being polite here).
If I tap on it maybe the emptiness will be acceptable.
I have spent a lot of my life not reaching out because I never trusted that other people would be there for me because they weren't.
If I tap long enough maybe it will be OK that I don't reach out or that I don't trust or that they weren't there for me.I'm sorry but none of that sounds real good to me.
If that is what I wanted I could go off and be a hermit somewhere.
And I've done that long enough within my own self.My goal now is to be able to be emotionally open.
I want to be able to feel joy just as intensely as I felt that anger.
I want my kid to be able to go beyond just not hurting.
I want him to be happy.
I AM going to reach out to other people and connect with them on a deeper level than I have for a long time.
I have the tools to deal with any negative that comes up for me.
I AM going to allow other people to come deeper into my life without being dependent on them.Those are the things that I am going to tap on with the PP.
Things like:
ALL of my emotions are safe.
I CAN be very open emotionally.
I deserve to have good connections with people.
Other people DO want to be there for me.
I have a GREAT support group.
My inner child IS safe.
I have the ability to deal with whatever comes up as it comes up.
Many people want to be in my life in positive ways.
And the list goes on.Will I make mistakes?
Most likely yes.
I can tap on those as they come up.
Is it possible I will get hurt sometimes?
Quite possibly yes.
I can tap on that too.
Will I feel happiness sometimes?
One would hope so.
Will I feel alive?
YES!
And THAT is the most important thing.It's time for me to tap down the anger and tap in more positives.
YES we ARE having fun now.
I DO accept the gift that my subconscious mind id giving me and I do give thanks for it.
I am returning the favor by becoming more alive and open.What better gift could I give it or myself.
Let me know where I am misreading what you wrote to me.
I will talk with you soon.
Russ
Hi Russ,
Sorry for the confusion about this…
“So, look at those thoughts of having to do it on your own and also upon the emptiness that you feel and allow the feelings to come through and then also allow the memories to surface so that you can run the CT on them.”
I know, as you said, that you don't want to do that… it's because your mind model says that it is painful. It's not that “doing something on your own” is inherent with “being unsupported.” Doing things on your own is merely a physical manifestation of the moment. Feeling unsupported is an interpretation or definition that it is a painful event.
So, take the charge away from the moment by using the Click Tracks around the feeling and the memories that surface when you focus on the feeling.
You see, just because you are ok with doing things on your own does not mean you end up BEing unsupported.
Make this simple… allow the feelings to come through and follow them. DO NOT try and figure it out… you can't. You are attempting to apply thought, logic and intellect to something that was derived without reason.
So, follow this simple little formula…
E.P.I.C. for PSTECClear away ALL the emotions that are not J.E.E.P. All of them… none of those serve you. Remember, anything that is creating protection, also creates a barrier.
So, find peace in doing it on your own because when you do, then the fear of it… the pain… is gone. And, then guess what? You are free to allow not only other people to do and give to you, but you will be free to allow yourself to be supported by your greatest resource… your Higher or Inner Self… that “thing” that seems to help people be lucky without trying.
Aloha!
Jeff
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