Ending a relationship

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  • July 12, 2011 at 7:48 pm#21369
    Jeff Harding
    PSTEC User

      Hello!

      I have downloaded the pstec program, and have a few questions I was hoping you might be able to help me with.

      I recently ended a 6 year relationship with a Narcissist. I was very emotionally abused, and suffering greatly. (low self esteem, the list goes on and on and on) During my 1 month away from him I have learned that I am very very codependant. I have SO many issues from my past, I don’t know what to even think of during the session.

      What images/feelings…or what do I conjure up during listening to the tapes? There is SO MUCH hurt, so many years of terror….what do I do first? Where do I begin?….

      Thank you so much in advance for your help

      Virginia

      July 12, 2011 at 7:52 pm#22497
      Jeff Harding
      PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

        Hi Virginia,

        Thanks for writing and reaching out and for taking the time and courage to look within for the cause and issues rather than trying to “fix” what's on the outside.

        It seems as if there are SO many issues for many reasons, but know this, as you work through them with PSTEC, the light will come at the end of this tunnel… and, no, it's not a train … so be consistent and persistent because if you are, I promise you, your perceptions and experiences will shift and change!

        If you are having a tough time, please take that same courage and ask for help through either this forum or even you might find great value in working with a trained PSTEC practitioner either regularly or periodically. Check out the PSTEC Registry for a trained PSTEC Practitioner

        So, where to start? The beginning, of course! :- )

        I know you are feeling like there is a lot, so let’s just go one at a time, ok?
        One step at a time… one issue at a time.

        As you begin using PSTEC, you are “training” your mind to deal with the issues in a different way, so be patient and kind with yourself, ok?

        I like to use E.P.I.C.; you can download a free copy at this link… http://livefreewithpstec.com/handouts/EPICforPSTEC.pdf

        EMOTIONS

        What are the most prevalent emotions and feelings on a regular or daily basis?

        Let’s say it’s anxiety as an example, ok? You can do this for any emotion and feeling, but I’ll use anxiety as an example.

        Have a pen and paper handy when you do this…

        Allow the emotions and feelings of anxiety to come through … it’s ok, we are NOT doing it to relive the anxiety, but to heal it… to let it go.

        PHYSICAL

        Where do you feel the anxiety feelings physically? I do this so as to tune in to the “communication” from the subconscious. What does the anxiety feel like physically?

        Remember, anxiety cannot harm you. You are allowing communication with the subconscious in your work together in Being whole.

        INCIDENT

        Now, ask yourself some of these questions:

        • Ok, what does that anxiety remind you of?

        • When did you feel that anxiety last?

        • What about before that… and before that?

        • When was one of the first times you remember feeling anxiety that way?

          • [/list]What you may experience are memories, images, thoughts, emotions and feelings.

          Jot those down.

          CLEAR IT!

          These images, memories and thoughts along with the emotions and feelings of anxiety are the specific things to use when you plug in your PSTEC Click Tracks.

          Some notes:

        • You can take one event at a time and just follow Tim’s instructions… be sure to rate the feelings before and after. When down to 0-1 on the scale, move on to the next one.

        • You may have, say, multiple events that seem like a repeat or have the exact or very, very similar feelings. You may be able to “group” these together when playing the click track… take the image or memory that is most prominent to focus on. Do not do this with the intention to short cut or avoid something, but if they truly are almost identical in feelings and appearance, they may be able to be grouped.

          • [/list]Be sure to keep your list of specifics and go back later to each one and see if the intensity is down for each one.

        • As you do a Click Track Session, other images and memories may come up. Continue with your click track and focus on them, they may clear out as well. Be sure to write down the new thoughts, images and memories so that you can test later and be sure they are clear of any emotional intensity.

        • When dealing with some heavy feelings and trauma and using PSTEC long term, be sure to rotate the Click Tracks and use more than one… consider the EEF’s as well.

          • [/list]One more important recommendation… consider purchasing the PSTEC Accelerators. These can be used with all PSTEC Click Tracks and may be the ticket to help speed things up a bit for you.

          Let me know is that answers your question and gets you started.

          Again, be patient, kind and gentle with yourself, Virginia, and ask for help again here or individually from a practitioner if you feel you are stuck.

          Take care… hugs and aloHA!

          Jeff

        July 12, 2011 at 7:52 pm#22498
        Jeff Harding
        PSTEC User

          thank you so much. i will go slow, be kind to myself, and follow your suggestions.
          thank you for being here, and for this program. i feel like i am on the path to finding the REAL me inside.

          Virginia

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