How do I know it worked?

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Truman and DarekKow,

Thanks for posting.

I feel you have hit on something there, Darek.

If you say a belief, notice how/where it feels true. It might be a nervous feeling in someone's stomach, or tightness in the chest. Keep trying to believe the belief while running the Belief Blaster track. Usually the feeling and emotion will be gone at the end of the track, and saying the belief will feel neutral or even absurd.

It definitely sounds like “women are liars” feels like the absolute truth to Truman, so it might be helpful to do some counterexampling on this.

There will be “evidence” for this belief, and holding the actual belief can restrict someone's view to only noticing the times women have lied.

The notion of someone actually being a liar is effectively a man-made construct. People are routinely called liars due to a breakdown in communication or for not being truthful over one or two matters.

Like Darek suggested, it might benefit you to consider that all women lied to you and always will. Bring up the negative feeling and CT it.

Then you can go back to the belief.

Suppose some of the evidence for the belief was that women didn't call you back when they said they would. Some counterexamples might include:

“Maybe those women did intend to call me back, but just didn't get around to it”

“Maybe those women were lying to spare my feelings, but it didn't mean they were actually liars”

'”Maybe those women were liars, but it doesn't mean all women are”

“Maybe all people have been dishonest at some times in their lives – not just women”

If this is about your Mother lying to you, you could also factor that in:

“Maybe Mom lied to me a lot, but it doesn't mean she was a liar, that all women are liars” etc.

You can also consider whether you have ever done the same things and NOT considered yourself a liar?

Also, if the women had been honest with you, might that have hurt you more?

You will know the exact source of “women were liars”, so will be able to run other counterexamples.

Honesty may be one of your values, yet the women who you believed lied to you may have had an opposing value about being kind. Sometimes what we think of as lying is thoughtfulness in disguise.

Of course, certain lies (like deliberately trying to hurt someone by spreading false rumours or outright defamation) can be devastating. If you have encountered such a thing, definitely CT that too.

Like Brian mentioned, the belief might not be core, or perhaps it is and is just a bit stubborn. I think it would definitely be worth persisting with eliminating this particular belief, as holding such a belief would likely make relationships more difficult.

There are women out there who have the competing view that “men are liars” and all manner of beliefs about men. Eliminating this will free you up in all manner of ways, I suspect.

Please let us know how you get on and, if you are comfortable sharing how you “know” the belief is true, we might be able to help you troubleshoot it further.

All the best,

Paul 

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Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Another way to hit it is to remove the expectation that “others should be honest” also look at “people who loved me were dishonest” often times you can take a few similar beliefs out and collapse a larger structure.

You can also CT the feelings that because you are honest (good, nice, giving, loving, caring etc) you are entitled for others to be equally honest and reciprocate. As you know you can never expect this from another person.

Also did you do a round where you have a tantrum (in your mind) about 1.) how freaking tired you are of dealing with that issue. 2.) how freaking tired you are of worrying about that issue. 3.) How sick and tired you are about feeling the way you do. Use expletives, cry, really get into it as much as possible?

I'm sure it has anger associated with it that could be holding it up.

Also give a go on “women aren't reliable” “I can't rely on anyone” “people who loved me were unreliable”

Also for sure CT Feelings that your parents/caretaker were unreliable in meeting your needs, other people are unreliable in general and also relationships are unreliable.

The only thing that is reliable is your Self!

[TrumanPSTEC User]

thank you guys. i appreciate your answers and it had been really helpful to uncover lots of stuff that i have been working on since then.

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