How do you work with this when you don’t "feel"?

[Jeff HardingPSTEC User]

Hi guys,
I have just downloaded the free audios and the instructions.
I understand that you need to focus on a memory and the feelings connected to that memory.
The work that I am doing is trying to get back in touch with my feelings.
I think that I cut off my emotions when I was young as a means of survival.
I think about events in my past that I “should” have an emotional charge around and I get nothing at all.
I might as well be watching a movie or reading a book about it.
I am not depressed or suicidal or anything along those lines.
By the same token, I am not very happy either.
I just go along on an even keel.
I Want to get in touch with my emotions so that I can find more joy in life and honestly connect with other people emotionally.
I know that I will have to go through the negative emotions and memories in order to come out the other side and get more in touch with the positive ones.
I am very willing to do that.
How do I use this technique if I can't connect with the emotions?
How do I get out of my head and into my emotions?
Any ideas on how to get in touch with things so that I can resolve the past and be open to feeling all of my emotions now?
Any help would be great.
Thanks a lot.
Russ

[Cynthia HooperPSTEC User]

HI RUSS,
FIRST : WELCOME TO THIS FORUM . I AM SO PLEASED YOU HAVE FOUND US AND HAVE DISCOVERED TIM'S WONDERFUL GIFT. LOOK AROUND THE SITE AND READ WHAT EVERYONE IS DOING, VERY ENCOURAGING! — THE MORE YOU WORK WITH THIS MODALITY THE MORE YOU WILL BE INCREASINGLY IMPRESSED

WE ARE VERY BLESSED TO HAVE AVAILABLE TO US THE EXTREMELY INTUITIVE JEFF HARDING. IF YOU GET STUCK ON WORDING OR CONCEPTS, HE IS A GENIUS. HE IS DEFINITELY THE MAN TO GUIDE YOU ON HOW TO APPROACH YOUR ISSUES. SO WRITE HIM,

IF YOU SPEND A FEW MOMENTS, YOU CAN GO THROUGH AND READ HIS SAGE ADVISE TO OTHERS- WHICH WILL GIVE YOU A SOUND BASIS FOR BEGINNING. GO TO JEFF'S NOTE TO ANDERS, SEPT. 22,2010- GOOD WRITE, WITHIN HE STATES:Now, you say feelings are an issue… that you do not feel them. On the other hand, the emotions and feelings are the communication from the subconscious so they are there, but most often we have conditioned ourselves and are in the habit of “shutting them down” or ignoring them.

Consider listening to the interview with Michael about “No Feelings or Memories”…

….also the interview with Wil along those lines of not feeling…

LOOK THIS ONE UP- YOU CAN JUST CLICK THOSE LINKS FROM THERE- BOTH AWESOMELY RIPE WITH GIFTS TO HELP YOU.

THE MORE YOU WORK WITH THIS MODALITY- THE MORE WILL BE CLEARED AND THE MORE CONNECTED TO SELF AND THE JOY WITHIN YOU WILL EXPERIENCE. SO- CHECK THINGS OUT, WRITE JEFF, THEN , IF YOU WISH, WRITE AGAIN TO ME- I WILL HELP ANY WAY POSSIBLE, JANE GIROUARD, HERE ON THIS FORUM, IS FULL OF WISDOM. I WILL ALSO HELP ANYWAY POSSIBLE- I THINK YOU ARE OFF TO A GREAT START IN THAT YOU RECOGNIZE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE AND I CONGRATULATE YOU FOR BEING OPEN TO HELPING YOURSELF EVOLVE, AS WE BRING OURSELVES TO FREEDOM AND PEACE, WE IN TURN HELP TO RAISE THE VIBRATION OF ALL MANKIND- SO HOW GREAT IS THIS?

ENJOY THE RIDE!

PEACE, CYNTHIA

[Jeff HardingPSTEC User]

Hi Cynthia,

Thank you for your comments.

I have done a lot of looking around on this forum.

It looks like this process does a lot of great stuff once you have an emotion to work with.

My question is still about how to get in touch with the emotions to begin with.

I know that my subconscious mind does a good job of trying to protect me and that it wants only what is best for me.
I know that it is a good friend and not an enemy for me to fight.
I know that it is just working with old programs that just don't serve me any more.
I know that it wants to stay with what is familiar and doesn't want to change.

Let me give you some background on me.
My father was an alcoholic and an ex-boxer. Not a good combination.
I had migraine headaches starting at about age 4 or 5.
They were a way to escape my father.
When I cut off my emotions the migraines stopped.

I quit school and went into the Navy for 4 years.
When I went home I hoped that things had changed. They hadn't.

I let the area in 1969 and traveled a lot.
I would find a job and work for a while and then move on.

I had not been in touch with the family since I left.

My sister found out how to get in touch with me this year and called me because she wanted to get in touch.
It seems that I am the last of the family and she wanted to connect with me.

My oldest brother is in jail for murder and had been there for several years.
My next oldest brother died in a motorcycle accident about three years after I left.
My youngest brother died of leukemia about 5 years ago.
My father died of Alzheimer's 2 years ago and my mother died of cancer last year.

When she told me all of this there was nothing.

I know that I should be feeling something but there is nothing there.

It is the same way with most everything.
Nothing there.

I know that they are somewhere inside but I can't seem to get in touch with them.

I do not feel depressed.
I do not feel sad.
I do not feel angry.
I also do not feel happy.
I do not feel joy.
I can't remember the last time that I had a belly laugh.
And I don't cry.

How do I begin to open up this armor?
I KNOW inside my head that if I get in touch with my emotions I will be able to handle them with EFT or pstec and resolve them.
I just don't know how to get in touch with them to begin with.

Where do I start?

That is the question.

Thanks for being there.

Russ

[Cynthia HooperPSTEC User]

HI RUSS,

THANKS FOR YOUR WRITING. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING- YOU HAVE SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT AND AWARENESS OF ALL THESE EVENTS THAT HAVE HAD IMPACT WITHIN YOUR BEING– SO IN ACTUALLY YOU ARE VERY CONNECTED, JUST NOT ALLOWING THE EMOTIONS TO FILTER UP AND THROUGH. WHAT YOU NEED IS A WAY TO SAY YES TO THESE EMOTIONS, YES, YES, AND YES, SO THAT THEY CAN SURFACE AND EXPAND, AND DISSOLVE. REMEMBER, WHEN WE DO NOT FEEL THE EMOTIONS, THE EMOTIONS ARE RULING US.

THE FIRST THING I SAY IS, I KNOW NOTHING, JEFF IS THE TRUE GENIUS AND VERY WILLING TO GUIDE YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. YOU WROTE: ” I know that they are somewhere inside but I can't seem to get in touch with them.” I BELIEVE WE ALL HIDE PAINFUL CORE ISSUES WHEN WE NEED TO PROTECT OURSELVES , AND WE AL HOLD A SYSTEMATIC AVERSION TO PAIN , LIKE YOU SAID, : I know that my subconscious mind does a good job of trying to protect me and that it wants only what is best for me. NOW- IF THERE WEREN'T SOMETHING VERY CHALLENGING FOR YOU TO FEEL, YOU'D HAVE NO NEED TO CHECK OUT, RIGHT? TO FIND THAT CHALLENGING EMOTION ( START WITH ONE), ASK YOURSELF, ” WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IF I WENT FORWARD IN THIS MOMENT?” NOW, SIT QUIET, DO NOT JUMP TO AN ANSWER, LET THE ANSWER COME TO YOU ON ITS OWN. ONCE YOU HAVE DISCOVERED YOUR WORST-CASE SCENARIO, NOW ASK,” IF THIS HAPPENED, WHAT IS THE MOST AWFUL FEELING I WOULD HAVE TO ENDURE?” AGAIN LET THE ANSWER ARRIVE OF ITS OWN, WITHOUT RUSHING IT. IT MAY BE FEAR, FAILURE, LOSS, GUILT, REJECTION, RAGE, HURT, OR SOMETHING UNIQUELY YOURS. YOU KNOW YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK WHEN YOU WANT TO RUN FOR THE HILLS!

NOW YOU CAN BEGIN TO FEEL WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN RESISTING, PERHAPS FOR MOST OF YOUR LIFE,THIS TAKES REAL COURAGE BUT THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE IS AN UNFULFILLED DREAM. SO, GO AHEAD, IMAGINE THE WORST HAS COME TO PASS, AND GIVE YOURSELF OVER COMPLETELY TO THAT TORMENT WHETHER YOU FEEL IT IN ONE SPOT OR ALL OVER, STAY CONNECTED TO THE PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. WHENEVER YOU LOSE YOUR FOCUS, GENTLY BRING IT BACK. LET YOUR AWARENESS REMAIN SOFT AND STEADY WITHOUT ATTEMPTING TO DO ANYTHING. FREEING YOURSELF IN THIS WAY WILL ALLOW YOUR EMOTION TO BEGIN TO SHIFT, SURFACE, AND CHANGE.

YOU WILL FIND, WITH A LITTLE PRACTICE, THE LIBERATING KNOWLEDGE THAT THE EMOTIONS AND FEELING THAT YOU HAVE BELIEVED TO BE INTOLERABLE ACTUALLY ARE NOT, YOU HAVE THE CAPACITY WITHIN YOU TO ACCEPT ALL, SURVIVE ALL, AND CLEANSE ALL NEGATIVITY,

I HAVE A SIMPLE TASK THAT CAN BE HELPFUL IN CONNECTING. PERHAPS YOU CAN TRY THIS. SIT COMFORTABLY, GET YOURSELF CENTERED AND RELAXED. NOW, CONJURE UP SOMEONE, OR SOME THING, OR SOME INCIDENT THAT BRINGS A SMILE TO YOU, OR LIGHTS YOU UP WITH JOY. JUST FIND ONE THING, NOW TAKE THAT AND FILL YOURSELF UP WITH THAT SENSE, SEE HOW YOUR HEART FEELS, SEE IF THIS SENSE EXPANDS AND RELAXES YOUR BODY. OK- NOW , PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PHYSICAL BODY- WHERE DO YOU SENSE THIS EXPANSION? DOES IT MOVE AROUND OR STAY IN ONE PLACE? IS THERE A SENSE OF WARMTH, SOFTNESS, OR IS IT SHARP, OR DIFFUSED? DOES ALL STAY STEADY, OR DOES THIS SENSE RISE AND FALL? DOES IT INTENSIFY OR DIMINISH? JUST LOOK INTO YOUR BODY AND SEE WHAT IS GOING ON. SPEND SEVERAL MINUTES WITH THIS- IF IT BEGINS TO FADE, GENTLY RECONNECT TO THAT “SMILE THOUGHT” AND BRING YOURSELF BACK TO THAT SOURCE OF YOUR INNER SMILE. SEE WHT HAPPENS IN YOUR BODY. THIS PROCESS CONNECTS YOU TO A STATE OF GREATER EXPANSION, THIS CONNECTS YOU TO BEING OPEN AND CONNECTED TO THE FLOW OF LIFE ENERGY AS IT MOVES THROUGH YOU. IT CAN ALSO CONNECT YOU TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AROUND YOU. THIS STATE OF CONNECTION IS VERY IMPORTANT, BECAUSE, IN ORDER TO BE PRESENT IN OUR MOMENT OR CIRCUMSTANCE WE NEED TO BE IN AN EXPANDED STATE. WE DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE EXPERIENCING ” THE JOY OF OUR SMILE”– BUT WE NEED TO BE IN A QUALITY OF OPENNESS . ANOTHER, GOOD THNIG WITH THIS ABOVE PROCESS IS THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THE TMIE TO TUNE INTO YOUR BODY TO BRING YOURSELF TO A PLACE OF EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS. THE ONLY PLACE YOU WILL EVER FEEL EMOTIONS IS IN THE PHYSICAL,OUR THOUGHTS CREATE OUR EMOTIONS AND OUR BODIES RESPOND BY ALLOWING THESE EMOTIONS TO TAKE UP RESIDENCE. THE BODY IS WHERE THE EMOTIONS ARRIVE, WHERE THEY GET BLOCKED, AND WHERE WE RELEASE THEM

JUST KNOW- OUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT REALLY FIRE EATING DRAGON READY TO BURN US- ONCE WE GENTLY OPEN THAT DOOR WE DISCOVER THAT WE ARE LOOKING AT A JUMPING LITTLE KITTEN THAT JUST NEEDS OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE.

SO- WRITE JEFF- HE KNOWS ALL.

HOPE THIS WAS NOT TOO LONG WINDED AND THAT THERE IS AT LEAST A SENTENCE OR TWO THAT CAN HELP YOU.

GOOD LUCK- LET ME KNOW
PEACE, CYNTHIA

[Jeff HardingPSTEC User]

Hello Cynthia,

Thank you for your response.
There is a lot of good stuff there.

I like the idea of sitting with the positive smile event to focus on.
I will do that on my days off this week.

I spent a little while tapping with EFT on my resistance to feeling my emotions.

What came up for me was this.
Why feel the emotions?
All I remember from the past is the negative.
Anger is destructive and violent.
Sadness hurts.
Any joy was always taken away.
I don't need the pain.
If I am numb I am safe.

I know in my head that if I connect with the emotions and events from the past I can clear them and find a lot more joy and fulfillment in my life.
Getting that to my gut is a little more of a challenge.
BUT I know it can be done.
And I AM going to do it.

I will start with the smile moments and go from there.

You have said that I should write Jeff.

How do I do that?

I see him on the forum in different posts.

How do I get him to respond to mine?

Thanks again for all of the good advice that you have given me.

You can be as long winded as you want.
You say nothing but helpful things.

Thank you.

Have a great day.

Russ

[Cynthia HooperPSTEC User]

HI RUSS,

THANKS FOR BEING YOU.

I AM GLAD YOU LIKE THE SMILE EXERCISE- I THINK YOU CAN GET A BUNCH FROM IT- SO ENJOY- AND LET ME KNOW!

What came up for me was this.
Why feel the emotions?
All I remember from the past is the negative.
Anger is destructive and violent.
Sadness hurts.
Any joy was always taken away.
I don't need the pain.
If I am numb I am safe.
WOW! LOOK AT HOW CONNECTED YOU REALLY ARE! AND- DOES THIS NOT HIT THE CORE WITHIN THE MAJORITY OF HUMANS–

CARRYING ALL THE NEGATIVES ( BUNDLED UP IN A HUGE TRASH BAG WE DRAG WITH US EVERYWHERE WE ARE) IS A HEAVY SPACE TO KEEP OURSELVES IN. THE MORE WE EMBRACE INSTEAD OF BURY- THE LIGHTER WE BECOME.

I BELIEVE THAT ALL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WE STORE FILTER DOWN TO FEAR AS THE ROOT.” THE COURSE OF MIRACLES ” TEACHES, WE HAVE TWO CHOICES, FEAR ( EGO) OR LOVE (GOD/ DIVINE). LIGHT IS LIGHT ( NOT HEAVY/ PUN INTENDED)

AFTER YOU HAVE WORKED WITH THE “SMILE”- LETS SEE WHERE THAT GOES— I HAVE A BUNCH MORE IF YOU GET INTERESTED.

THANKS FOR BEING LIKE ME IN THAT I NEVER KNOW HOW TO DO THINGS ON A WEBSITE. I DO KNOW THIS THOUGH,
GO TO THE TOP LEFT OF THIS PAGE AND CLICK ON “MAIN”. THEN SCROLL DOWN AND YOU WILL FIND A LINK—“ASK A PRO , JEFF HARDING”. CLICK ON THERE AND YOU CAN WRITE JEFF . I KNOW YOU WILL RECEIVE ALL YOU NEED- HE IS A GIFTED GENIUS ( AND EVEN MORE LONG WINDED THEN ME- SO GET READY!)

STAY CENTERED, YOU ARE DOING WONDERFUL
PEACE, CYNTHIA

[Jeff HardingPSTEC User]

Hi Russ

I spent a little while tapping with EFT on my resistance to feeling my emotions.

What came up for me was this.
Why feel the emotions?
All I remember from the past is the negative.
Anger is destructive and violent.
Sadness hurts.
Any joy was always taken away.
I don't need the pain.
If I am numb I am safe.

I just read your post and felt that you were given a lot of answers with doing EFT on your resistance to feeling your emotions. You could start with click tracking, what emotion? what anger? What sadness? what joy? And see what comes up. You could also say a positive statement before you use the click track saying that, ‘Whenever I use the click tracks, my subconscious mind will allow me to feel anything that I want to feel.

Another thing that I do when I am looking for answers is to ask myself what I need to know as all the answers are inside me. Sometimes I use a pen and paper and just ask myself, ‘What do I need to know?’ And write down the first thing that comes into my mind. The other way I get answers is to ask myself before going to sleep, ‘What do I need to Know?’ and in the morning the answer is already in my mind. You could ask yourself, ‘Where are my emotions?’

I sometimes ask my body, where in my body do I feel a particular emotion (EMOTRANCE) and emotions can be felt anywhere in the body and just asking the body will allow you to sense an emotion somewhere in the body. Sometimes my emotions are in my tears. How amazing is that? Don’t worry about getting out of your head and into your emotions. Just focus on something different and you will no longer be in your head. You could focus on any part of your body to see how that part feels.

I hope this helps you and I wish you every success with click track.

Marian

[Author]

Posts