How to REALLY try to hold on to the negative memory/feeling with click tracks
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Matthew
Hi,
Is it ok to make a face with your eyes closed as you try to hold on to the negative memory/feeling? A face of disgust or like I'm screaming in anger. What about actually thinking to yourself or even saying out loud to yourself what you said or felt in that moment of anger, for example. Is it ok to say quietly to myself as I listen to the clicks and do the tapping “you don't understand!” or “it's too much… I can't do it all!”?
Thank you
Peter BunyanHi Matthew
Great questions! I would expect most of us make some small adjustments to our faces when concentrating on memories without even realising we are doing it. That is, it is a natural reaction to the effort of focussing or the memory, not recreating the face in an attempt to recreate the emotion. If I understand you, then you are on the more extreme end of the scale.
The Click Tracks are on one level simple to do, but as you have learnt not actually easy to follow. They are not meant to be easy, if they were they would not work. Nobody can hold onto one memory or emotion all the way through the tracks. You can only really do one thing at a time and Tim is asking you to do two, focus on an emotion/memory and tap in synch with the clicks and tones while being talked to. This means your attention flips between things and shifts. This is normal, what is important is that you keep on going back to that memory/emotion time and time again. Your hands my lose synch or something Tim says may draw you away, just keep on going back.
Mostly the emotions tied to the memories are not simple or easy to put a one word name to, they are complex. The memory is the thing to try and hang on to, your subconscious knows what the feelings are to de-link from the memory. Where many associated memories are blended together then this is fine as long as they carry the same emotional baggage. Where you have a sentence or a name for a memory, “that event” or “that person” and you know what or who they are with that verbal shortcut then again, fine! Use that shortcut to keep on going back to the memory if helps to bring it back and help re-live it.
The Click Tracks do not remove the memory, what happened happened. They remove the associated feelings so that you do not re-live the feelings when you re-live the memory. This allows you to “move on” rather than repeat past events in your mind and to forgive others who caused you grief and pain.
So… “Is it OK?” Yes if it helps you to keep re-focussing. The “trying” is a mental thing the physical effort is a reflection of that. The persistance of keeping on attempting to go back, even if you do not succeed is important, it is pehaps what is telling your subconcsious that it important to let go of the emotions. I had not thought of it this way before but pehaps it is a “measure of sincerity” or a level of “how much do I want this gone”. I will ask Tim!
Peter
Wow, thank you Peter… that is very helpful… you have really explained the process well
Brian TuckerMatthew – I make all kinds of weird faces, wriggle around on the bed trying to find the best way to try to physically recreate the feeling as hard as I can while holding it.
Sometimes I have to lay a certain way to recreate the feeling, then move a little bit and shift positioning of my body depending on where that negative physical feeling is located at in my body.
Depending on the emotion, you may feel like you are straining, struggling, holding your breath etc. This is normal and good but not necessary. It's been noted that what matters is that you try as hard as you can to recreate the feeling, even if you really can't. Of course if you have just had an event and the negative feeling is fresh, that's a perfect time to go click track it! If you can;t do it right then, wrote it down on a piece of paper or in your phone and do it as soon as you can.
Here is another tip I was successful with. When you feel like you have tried as hard as you can and get the negative feeling down to a 1 on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, give it one more run. This time, completely relax your body while trying to recreate what little low level emotional charge is left. I find that when I do this it really makes a difference. Usually after this last run of the track and a good night's rest there is nothing left the next day.
Hope this helps.
Peter BunyanHi Matthew and plus1
Tim advised me that making faces etc is OK if it helps you. The repeated verbalising though is not recomended and possibly unhelpful.
Peter
Brian TuckerHi Matthew and plus1
The repeated verbalising though is not recomended and possibly unhelpful.
Peter
Agreed, best to keep this out of your process.
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