How young should you start?

[Stuart WhitbyPSTEC User]

Hi,

I've just gone through my first PSTEC session as regards my feelings of anger towards a 10 year old (or so) boy who abused my (at the time) 3 year old son over the course of about 8 months while he was with his childminder.  It's brought the feelings of anger down from about a 9 to a 4, which I find amazing. 

However, I'm not the only one with anger issues in my household   I now have a 4.5 year old who (in his words) “will never get the anger out of [his] bones”. 

Is there any reason I shouldn't sit down with him so we can do this together?  Any suggestions for the best way of going about it for maximum effect for him?

TIA,

Av.

[Meghan SaundersPSTEC User]

I would say most children that young do not have the capacity for concentrating.  I don't believe there is a definition for 'too young' – it would certainly depend on the child and also the level of communication between the two off you.  I would imagine somewhere around the age of 10-12 might become appropriate

It will ultimately benefit your son by your continuing use of click tracks on your anger.  Write out a list of all things and people that anger you.  Search your own bones for anger.  And use the click tracks on each item or person listed until you have cleared your anger issues.

Look at all the people that your son comes in contact with and analyze their anger issues from your point of view – – do some click tracking around any anger issues or people around you and your son if anything comes to mind.  One way might be to think of a person when they are angry and how then how their anger make you feel (and son feel) and click on that feeling – – or any feeling that comes up like – oh, that probably feels scary for my son.  Follow your feelings — your senses.

Since your boy is so young and focus for pstec might not be possible, you can easily do surrogate click tracking for your son.  It's by proxy – – you take a moment to center and pretend to be your son.  Well, there are a few ways to do this.

1) You can do the CTs by statement of intention – – I intend to clear the anger my son holds in his bones by doing the click tracks and releasing attachments for him.  So when Tim say focus on YOUR feeling – – that cue cues you to think of your son's feelings.

2) Another way is pretending to be your son – as if you were him doing the click tracks for himself.  This might be a good experiment also to see if you can feel his anger, pick an clues from this to find other things to clear with click tracks for him, or you. 

Recap:  Center and try to imagine what life feels like for your son, as your son.  Then when you do the click tracks – hold the intention that you are doing the CT's as if your son is actually doing them – – so you are doing the work for him, on his behalf.

Another idea that just came up for me was:  Think about how it makes you feel to hear your son say: “will never get the anger out of [his] bones” & think about the first time he said it  – – – concentrate on how THAT makes you feel and then do click tracks on that feeling too

Hope that helps.

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