INTRO. and Game Plan Needed.
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Paul McCabe.
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Michael BosticHello,
I am Mike and here is where I am at.
Growing up I had constant baraetment, critical judgment, shame, and little guidance.
Although my mom came from a good family and she was a good person she lived entirely in her head as I have done for most of my life. From age 5 on I just had my mom to rely on as she was divorced now. I guess this divorce and lack of guidance left me enraged (blackout rage). I hurt her at that time physically by throwing a shoe at her which scared me so much I quit outwardly raging. I stopped raging but the anger got turned on myself, I bottled it up and did self destructive things. So, from then on it was all the usual behavior that happens to a kid with that upbringing. Drugs, Alcoholism, Sex, Risky behavior, Stealing, Failed relationships, spotty work record, ect…
I am now 56 and prior to 6 years ago I had no clue how my mind was making its own reality that was so full of walls and lies built to protect me that I was an anxiety ridden, depressive, paranoid maniac. 9yrs ago a friend recommended a therapist that introduced the PSTEC methods, I lasted 2 sessions and told her she was crazy “this was hocus pocus”. But, then there was a moment of clarity 6 or so years ago, I had a glimpse of all the false securities, walls, and lies my mind was telling me. I realized how much I lived in a fantasy place in my mind designed to protect me but, in fact was destroying me. I became open minded to “everything” (as much as my mind could handle at the time). I returned to that therapist who used “PSTEC Basic” with amazing results for about a year. I was able to clear almost all the intense anxiety, depression, and paranoia using these tools with the therapist along with meditation and journaling. Due to a relationship this became a conflict of interest with the therapist.
I was dating one of her clients and it became apparent the therapist had me already summed up each time before I would arrive to her office, she never asked me my view at all, so I quit.
Anyway, that was probably 4 years ago and I have been floundering since, now it is time for me to pick up these tools and use them myself. I have been using “PSTEC Basic” again (the last 2 weeks) on my own as little stuff pops up and have even taken some big bites into relationship issues and going back to childhood with my mom being unavailable, with some good results but, I find it difficult to refine my negative statement ie. “Not even my Mom liked me growing up”. I spend days refining my statement (usually through journaling) before I use it, and it still doesn’t seem to hit the nail on the head. So many issues from that childhood.
So of course:
Low Self-Worth
NO JEEP
Use relationships to define me.
Possessiveness.
Self Destructive.
Self Sabotage.
Alcohol Addiction (In Remission but has not lasted. A couple of 5yrs. And a lot of 1yrs.)
BPD.
Abandonment. And on and on…………
It would be nice to get emotionally into that early time of my life and clear some of the ground clutter. Its hard for me to get into the emotions up from that time as it was so long ago and there are probably walls all over to keep me from feeling now, what happened to me then. I am now motivated, open-minded and willing to go to extreme lengths to get a move on.
I purchased all the Essential Packages,+ PQT, Self Hypno., Cascade Release. Although these are new purchases and I have no experience with them.
I can devote an hour a day or more. I do journal, meditate daily. The only experience I have is “Basic CT” and I also used “2015” once to strip the emotion of jealousy of the top of all past relationships that had that dynamic. I have been using “basic CT” on issues as they become a SUD number, whether I can bring up emotion by writing or if it just comes up naturally. Listening to “Ancestral Clearing” works well to bring stuff up but it is time consuming and random.
I need a major game plan. With an hour a day Any suggestions?Thanks
MichaelPaul McCabeHi Michael,
Thanks for your post and for being so candid. I appreciate your honesty and your facility to be vulnerable.
I know that many people (who do not necessarily post) read these posts, so your honesty will surely inspire others.
Now, onto your post…
The first thing I would definitely recommend is targeting the anger. Make a list of everything you can think of that brings up anger. From what you mentioned (and no doubt there will be other memories and concepts too), you may wish to target:
– the way your Mom was treated
– the way your Mom treated you
– divorce
– feeling you had no control
– feeling you were out of control
– feeling you had to hold everything in
– the way you have been treated by people in positions of trust and authority (teachers, therapists, coaches etc.)
– annoyance about life being difficult
Make these things real and, as you go through these painful times in your life, try hard to feel angry (almost like you are having a tantrum) and run a Click Track. I recommend running one of these per day until the anger has subsided: depending upon the Click Track you use, these range from 7 mins to 28 mins.
I do recommend that you make frequent use of the Click Track 2015 Long Track, running a Wrapper track before you do so.
So, as part of your 1 hr per day game play, that could contribute 7, 11, 14 or 28 mins.
I would also recommend running a Belief Blaster (http://bit.ly/Beliefblasters) each day. Again, these range from 10, 12 or 18 mins in length.
Based on what you wrote in your post, Michael, please check whether the following beliefs resonate.
– “Nobody likes me”
– “Life is a struggle”
– “I’m not OK”
– “I don’t matter”
– “I’m powerless”
– “I’m not important”
– “There’s something wrong with me”
– “I’ll never get what I want”
If they do resonate, please put the statements into the past tense and run a BB, whilst following the instructions – try hard to believe the belief statement by thinking about times where it seemed the belief was the truth, and mouth the words of the belief.
Check how you feel after you run a Belief Blaster. You will have other beliefs, of course, so I was giving suggestions based on your post.
No doubt we hold thousands of beliefs and many are absolutely fine and neutral. Others were formed in early childhood and have outlived their usefulness.
Thus, I would contend that it makes absolute sense to eliminate the beliefs that are contributing to you having unwanted experiences.
After doing the CT each day, and following up with a BB, you may then finish with a PQT (short at 9 or long at 15 mins). This will ensure you stick to the circa 1 hr per day schedule.
Choose a PQT that really speaks to you. It can run counter to the belief you eliminated via the BB (for example, “Maybe I am actually much better than I realised” ) , or simply be a suggestion that really would benefit your life or enhance your experience in a certain context (for example, “I now feel much calmer than I did before”).
There are lots of example PQT suggestions within the forum. I would just recommend that you choose something that really resonates with you, so word it in such a way that it becomes yours.
You can use a different suggestion each day.
To summarise:
1) Start with a Click Track (Basic, EEF, CT 2015 or Tapping Accelerator) and I recommend targeting anger initially. I appreciate that other emotions will be present, yet many people tend to suppress anger and allowing it to “be there” can facilitate very effective change.
2) Run one BB each day. Try to get as “core” as possible. Think about things that affect or bother you and stay with the feelings. Then ask “what would someone have to believe to have that experience?” Allow the answers to surface. For example, if someone noticed they felt fear every time they were walking alone at night, asking the question above might bring up answers like “I’m not safe”, “The world is dangerous”, “Something bad is going to happen” or “People are out to get me.” Just an example scenario. Those beliefs are likely linked to past experiences and those can be used in the Belief Blasters.
3) Run a PQT. Finish your session with a PQT suggestion that really helps give you the emotional experience you want. 7 to 12 words is optimal. It doesn’t have to be “too good to be true.” In fact, it is best to choose a suggestion that resonates with you and has enough specificity and believability to be accepted more readily. What would you need to tell your subconscious to help it give you the experience you want?
I appreciate you purchased some of the tracks recently, so please ensure you have listened to the instructions a few times. They are straightforward.
I hope this helps, Michael.
Please feel free to dialogue and please keep the thread updated with reports on your progress.
Kind Regards,
Paul 😉👍👍
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Michael BosticSo how to explain the last couple weeks of using PSTEC tools.
Ok for 12 days everything was good using PSTEC (Felt I was progressing). During this time I was working on, what now seem to be trivial issues, past relationship stuff that was right in my face at the time.The last couple days however the worry is intense, and have been doing all sorts of avoidance behaviors. I think it started when I started focusing on my anger, and now it like my brain is trying to shut me down. I have isolated for 2 days. The shut down feeling is, I am worthless, this is too overwhelming. That’s basically it I guess is that it is to large a task and that I am not worth the trouble, I will fail anyway is the feelings, also some fear of looking at that Anger in me and still feeling like, the only way to do anger is not to let it surface in the first place (and for me that means drinking and isolating). Like if I do anger I will not know how to control it without someone getting hurt or without looking like a fool. To me people that show anger are idiots, childish. Hmm now that I say that I see that is not true. I do not see all anger as foolish, it is appropriate at certain times and to certain degrees of course (in control). My thinking has always automatically lumped the two together. So, I guess my fear is that I will loose control.
Yes that is it, from childhood I cant even connect to why I was angry but, the loss of control of my anger (Blackout Rage) back then is what started this whole “cant do anger thing” it scares me (I will be hurt or others will). Apparently what I call “not doing anger” though, is not what other people see either, they do see anger and it scares most people. In no uncertain terms they know I am angry and I don’t see it. I think I am being too subtle, calm and holding back and also that I am not being heard so then I get more angry. I guess maybe I am trying to control them and when they do not sway I get more angry (I see that as not being heard cause if they heard me they would change there stance, its an argument and I must defend my position, too ridged in my stance).
Well, this is progress and much better than yesterday. This is the hardest part of this whole process is dissecting the thoughts and emotions that cause me to continue to follow the same patterns that have always kept me stuck in the same loops and then also, coming up with the appropriate “Statement” for PSTEC work. Writing has become my greatest tool for this and I make a point of writing daily even when I feel I have nothing to write. Having a forum to bounce this off also feels very reassuring that maybe there is hope I can finally work past these issues. I only picked up your tools a few weeks ago and now if I can stick with it, I see hope.So, your previous suggestions were:
• CT-Click Track (Basic, EEF, CT 2015 or Tapping Accelerator). “ANGER” I get this one!!
• BB-Belief Blaster “Statement Still Unclear” Statements still elude me.
So Maybe?:
1. “I used to be out of control”
2. “I used to feel out of control”
3. “I was not important”
4. “I used to feel I was not important enough to be heard”
5. “I used to feel worthless”
6. “I used to feel overwhelmed”
7. “I used to feel something bad is going to happen if I get angry”• PQT-Positive Quantum Turbo also, “Statement Still Unclear” Statements still elude me.
So Maybe?:
1. “Maybe it is safe to feel anger, as that will help protect me”
2. “Maybe it is safe and helpful to remember my childhood fully now”
3. “If things seem difficult, I get further by remaining calm”
4. “No matter how I feel, I take control of my actions”
5. “I can successfully express my anger without loosing control”
6. “I can express my anger and still let others not agree with me”Thanks Again
MichaelPaul McCabeHi Michael,
Thanks for your reply and for clarifying what you have been addressing.
The good news is that you do not have to figure it all out. There does not have to be some big Eureka moment or magic phrase. There can be, but it is not essential.
Equally, you have had a lifetime of experiences and a mix of emotions, so finding a perfect statement to encapsulate it all is not necessary.
Just work through the things that bother you, and remove the programming that no longer serves you – it may have served you at some point, but you can change the programming.
Decondition the emotions you no longer wish to feel, the beliefs that no longer give you the experiences you desire and layer in suggestions that give you healthier perspectives about yourself, life, people and your own brilliance.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Firstly, with regards to the stumbling block you have hit:</p>
This can happen. This is effectively being generated by your subconscious mind, which is trying to maintain the status quo. This is perfectly normal.Your words seem to indicate the underlying beliefs (or earlier decisions) that are contributing to the pattern, so you can take them out… a piece at a time:
– “I am worthless”
– “I am not worth it”
– “I am going to fail”
– “Change is overwhelming” (check to see if “Change is dangerous” resonates with you)
– “Anger is dangerous”
– “I am dangerous”
– “It is dangerous to express how I really feel”
– “If I change, something bad will happen”
– “I have to hide my bad feelings”
Say these out loud. Check to see whether they feel true, heavy or painful.
You may consciously disagree with a belief. However, if saying a belief statement feels resonant, it is evidence that you hold it.
You can contrast this by saying something that you absolutely know to be untrue (e. g. “I am from Mars”), and something that is emotionally neutral that you know to be true (“My name is Michael”).
Now, in terms of the belief statements you chose, I have a few points.
For instance, “I used to be out of control” would typically work better as
– “I was out of control”
It tends to work much more effectively if you put the original belief statement into the past tense. If the present tense version of the belief is “I am bad”, you could use “I was bad” – “I used to be bad” or “I used to believe I was bad” aren’t following the same structure.
“I used to feel out of control” is more of an accurate assessment of how you felt and thus would probably not work as well as a belief to blast. You probably DID feel out of control (based on other beliefs you hold) and this would represent your reality. You are not trying to argue with reality, per se, but the particular interpretations you came up with to explain reality.
What does it mean about you or about life that you felt out of control?
See if any other beliefs come to mind.
“I am…”, “It is not…”, “Being out of control is…”
Just to further illustrate this point…
Suppose someone fell over in a crowded street and felt embarrassed. The fact they fell over is a reality. The fact that they felt embarrassed is true.
If they tried to get rid of the beliefs “I fell over” and “I was embarrassed”, this would not do a lot. It is much better to look for the beliefs that created the embarrassment and the conclusions he/she reached about him or herself, or about other people, based on the event. For example, “I am an embarrassment”, “Everyone is laughing at me”, “It is bad to make mistakes in front of people.”
Please apply the above suggestions to the other beliefs you cited and any others you unearth. Look for the causal beliefs and the conclusions you reached earlier in your life. The core beliefs tend to be very simplistic in structure.
For example, “I used to feel I was not important enough to be heard”…
Think back to the earlier times in your life where you likely made that conclusion.
How would a child say that?
It will tend to be quite succinct – like “I am invisible” or “Nobody cares about me.”
If those statements resonate, put them into the past tense and Belief Blast them.
The PQT suggestions look good. I just recommend fine-tuning some of them, so that they are more positive.
You could try this:
– “Maybe it is possible to express anger in a safe and elegant way”
For any anger you experience when people disagree, this tends to be generated by beliefs like “I have to control what others think”, “I can’t handle people disagreeing with me” and “If people disagree with me, something bad will happen.”
You would surely benefit from eliminating those, if you do hold them (do check).
You could also CT any anger you feel whilst imagining people disagreeing with you or trying to “make you wrong.”
After that, a suggestion like “I am safe to feel absolutely calm when someone disagrees with me now” could be layered in with a PQT.
I hope this helps, Michael.
Please keep us updated.
Paul 😊
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
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