More Freedom – What you believe you are vs. what you believe you "should" be

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Using Belief Blasters in another way. Primarily we think in terms of our beliefs of “what we are” e.g. I'm stupid, I'm not smart etc.

Belief Blasters are EXTREMELY powerful in removing beliefs in a different way which is around “what you think you should be” e.g. “I must be smart” “I must be attractive” ESPECIALLY when it comes to something you can't or don't want to change!

When you remove the belief of what you “should be” you will be amazed at how different your life can be. One example is “I must be good” instilled into most everyone by their parents.

Per the Belief Blaster instructions, if you believe you are a bad person and constantly trying to convince others and yourself that you are good by acting or pretending to be good, you will be living in conflicted suffering. One could remove the belief “I've been a bad person” or remove the belief instilled my mom you should be a good little boy/girl  “I should have been good” Then you can just be you.

Can you do both? SURE!

Enjoy!

[LadybugPSTEC User]

Dear Brian,
I have a couple of questions regarding the belief blasters, and looked at other threads, but wasn't able to find any answers pertaining to the exact problems, hence I am posting them here:

I was wondering how to use the BB for a belief that resulted from being told almost daily, “You should feel ashamed of yourself!”. I'm not sure if I'm doing it correctly with regard to putting it in past tense when saying, “I should have felt ashamed of myself”.
I used the BB this way several times but without 'obvious' success. Any suggestions?

The other question I have is regarding using the BB with beliefs that pertain to the future. For example, during her childhood a friend of mine was constantly told by her mother, “What you want most, you'll never have!”. I suggested first using the CT to clear the emotions with regard to her mother as well as the anger about having been 'programmed' with such a belief, and then already starting to use PSTEC PQT to 'perforate' the negative belief, so to speak.
However, best case scenario, she would be able to use the BB to erase the negative belief before installing a new, positive one. We both weren't sure how to reword the negative belief for use with the BB, though. (Another example for a belief from childhood pertaining to the future would be, “I'll never be successful / wealthy/ amount to anything”)
I'd greatly appreciate any pointers! Thank you
Lee

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Dear Brian,
I have a couple of questions regarding the belief blasters, and looked at other threads, but wasn't able to find any answers pertaining to the exact problems, hence I am posting them here:

I was wondering how to use the BB for a belief that resulted from being told almost daily, “You should feel ashamed of yourself!”. I'm not sure if I'm doing it correctly with regard to putting it in past tense when saying, “I should have felt ashamed of myself”.
I used the BB this way several times but without 'obvious' success. Any suggestions?

1.) Give these beliefs a go – Already in past tense

I should have been ashamed of myself
I had been ashamed of myself
I had been shameful
I had been ashamed of who I was
I had been a shameful person
People who loved me had shamed me

The other question I have is regarding using the BB with beliefs that pertain to the future. For example, during her childhood a friend of mine was constantly told by her mother, “What you want most, you'll never have!”. I suggested first using the CT to clear the emotions with regard to her mother as well as the anger about having been 'programmed' with such a belief, and then already starting to use PSTEC PQT to 'perforate' the negative belief, so to speak.
However, best case scenario, she would be able to use the BB to erase the negative belief before installing a new, positive one. We both weren't sure how to reword the negative belief for use with the BB, though. (Another example for a belief from childhood pertaining to the future would be, “I'll never be successful / wealthy/ amount to anything”)
I'd greatly appreciate any pointers! Thank you
Lee

I would have never had what I had wanted most
I couldn't have had what I wanted

The other question I would ask is what was the reasoning behind it? e.g. didn't deserve, unworthy, you were bad etc.

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Lee,

Thanks for your post.

Further to what Brian wrote, there can be different ways to resolve this.

You could, for instance, imagine being told “you should be ashamed.of yourself”, bring up the emotion linked to this, trying hard to feel it and then Click Track this down to 0 or 1.

This will take all the charge out of it.

Then you could hunt around for the beliefs around this being said.

In other words, as a child, what would.you have concluded about yourself when this was said? What was the implication?

The answers will come to you. You could also see if any of these resonate with you:

“I was bad”
“I was not acceptable”
“I was letting everyone down”
“I was not worth loving”
“(Whoever was criticising) was ashamed of me”
“There was something wrong with me”

For expectation beliefs, you can just work in the way you have. However, there is an even easier way for your friend to re-word this:

“Mom thought I would never get what I wanted”

She could then counterexample this, or come up with other explanations. For example, “Just because she said it didn't mean it was true”, “Mom was wrong about many other things too”, “Just because she said it didn't mean she thought it,” “Mom was just frustrated when she said things like that”

Then, she could be very playful with the PQT suggestions:

“Mom never really appreciated my tenacity and I can get past that now”
“I look forward to showing what I can get now”
“I can absolutely achieve whatever I put my mind to”
“Even though Mom was wrong, she did the best she could”
“No matter what Mom thought, I can absolutely get what I most desire”

For the other ones like “I'll never be successful”, you can use “I would/could never have been successful.”

Again, there are many other pathways available, so please ask away.

All the best,

Paul 

---

Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

[LadybugPSTEC User]

Thank you, Brian and Paul, for taking the time to respond to my questions!
These are not only wonderfully helpful suggestions but your responses also deepened my understanding regarding how to use the BB as well as PQT in specific instances.

There is only one thing that I would love some clarification on regarding Brian's advice.. I took from Tim's tutorial that when coming up with a sentence to use with the belief blasters it is important not to use anything that was a 'fact', correct? I didn't mention in my original post that I felt indeed ashamed of myself (almost all the time), and that I was shamed by my parents (unless one thinks this is open to discussion and a belief rather than a fact…BUT, I know for a fact that it was their intent to shame me when they told me to be ashamed; they admitted to it, too).

Given that this was the case, I am assuming that some of Brian's suggestions don't lend themselves for use with the BB in my particular case, such as “I had been ashamed of myself”, “I had been ashamed of who I was”, and “People who loved me had shamed me”?

Thanks again!
Lee

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Thank you, Brian and Paul, for taking the time to respond to my questions!
These are not only wonderfully helpful suggestions but your responses also deepened my understanding regarding how to use the BB as well as PQT in specific instances.

There is only one thing that I would love some clarification on regarding Brian's advice.. I took from Tim's tutorial that when coming up with a sentence to use with the belief blasters it is important not to use anything that was a 'fact', correct? I didn't mention in my original post that I felt indeed ashamed of myself (almost all the time), and that I was shamed by my parents (unless one thinks this is open to discussion and a belief rather than a fact…BUT, I know for a fact that it was their intent to shame me when they told me to be ashamed; they admitted to it, too).

Given that this was the case, I am assuming that some of Brian's suggestions don't lend themselves for use with the BB in my particular case, such as “I had been ashamed of myself”, “I had been ashamed of who I was”, and “People who loved me had shamed me”?

Thanks again!
Lee

You are correct. They do not. If you wanted to install a positive you could do something along the lines of:

I was ashamed of who I was now I'm good now
I'm ok now just the way I am now
I love myself now just the way I am now
I accept myself now just the way I am now
I'm proud of who I am now I'm ok now

etc.

Paul has an interesting suggestion pattern he provided to me and I have used a few times myself. Here are examples.

I thought I was a shameful person but I was wrong now.
Other people had shamed me but they were wrong now.

To add to Paul's list, some other beliefs that feed shame. (In past tense already)

I had been a disgrace
I had been a disappointment
I had been bad
I had been a bad person
There had ben something wrong with me
There had been something wrong with who I was
I had been no good
I wasn't a good person
I had been wrong
I wasn't ok way the way I had been
I hated myself
I had hated who I had been
I had been humiliated
People who loved me had humiliated me
I had been an embarrassment

A REALLY good one is: I had been ashamed of being ashamed

Even… people who loved me had been ashamed of me or others had been ashamed of me

The list could run long and deep. Unaccepted, worthless, unloveable, defective, broken, flawed, mistake etc. I'm certain if you work on these above you will see a major shift. Once that happens you will likely realize even more in yourself.

There are so many ways to go after an issue with the various tools.

It is always a good idea to get really extremely angry at feeling shameful while clicktracking. Shame carries a load of anger and rage. So it can be much easier to clear it out when you address the anger and rage with the CT because it will hold the shame in place.

Even the most stubborn issues will finally clear if you do a round where you have a tantrum (in your mind) about 1.) how freaking tired you are of dealing with that issue. 2.) how freaking tired you are of worrying about that issue. 3.) How sick and tired you are about feeling the way you do. Use expletives, cry, really get into it as much as possible.

Just keep doing the work and keep going.

[TrumanPSTEC User]

I have been a self help junkie so I did “I should have been better” and it worked wonderfully

[Daniel WynnPSTEC User]

.. I took from Tim's tutorial that when coming up with a sentence to use with the belief blasters it is important not to use anything that was a 'fact', correct?

Can somebody please explain this to me? I don't recall this being the case. Most statement feel like fact to most people, until seen otherwise. That's the whole reason for the belief blasters in the first place right?

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Clearingman and Lee,

Thank you for posting.

You are right, Clearingman. This point was not stated in the instructions, yet I do appreciate what Lee is referencing.

Beliefs usually feel like the absolute truth with lots of “evidence” to support them. Some beliefs, however, lie far beneath the surface and we may not be consciously aware we believe what we do. They do make sense at the time they were formed, however.

It can be very effective to look at context. “My parents were ashamed of me” – in all contexts? Because of a certain behaviour? At a certain period of time? Or all the time?

With the factual aspect of things, I prefer to find out the beliefs that contribute to the pattern rather than phrases that just describe the emotional experience.

Imagine someone had a fear of public speaking. Beliefs, expectations and emotions will create this pattern.

Just trying to eliminate “I was terrified when speaking in public” is unlikely to do a lot to shift that experience. As much as it can be, it is a “fact” that the person felt terrified.

You are not trying to argue with your emotional experience, or trying to convince yourself it was “just excitement.” Strangely, I've read a few books that suggest doing that, but I don't think it's the most effective approach.

A much better approach is, of course, to completely decondition the terror and eliminate the beliefs which contributed to the terror.

Generally, the sort of beliefs feeding into that particular pattern are about self-concept, the opinions of others, making mistakes and about public speaking itself (e.g. “Public speaking is terrifying”)

With regard to the “fact” your parents were ashamed of you, Lee, you can still resolve this issue.

Suppose it was an absolute iron-clad fact your parents were ashamed of you. What did you feel when that was said or the way it was said? What did you believe about yourself as a result of that?

You can take all the emotional charge out of this with the Click Tracks.

PSTEC is not about pretending things didn't happen or weren't said. All manner of cruel and vicious things can be said and done, and this technology will enable you to truly empower yourself and get a full resolution. I suspect your parents were not in the best place to have said these things to you. They may have had their reasons for saying what they did, but you were let down, I would contend.

You can use some of the beliefs already suggested and you may have others like:

“I wasn't enough”
“I wasn't loveable”
“The world was a cruel place”
“I was a disappointment”
“I didn't belong in this world”

Just because your parents had an extremely critical way of relating to you, it does not mean that everyone is like that. Most people aren't. Also, just because someone says something critical, it doesn't make it true and many, many people have experienced tremendously cruel and unwarranted insults.

That is not to take away from what would have been an extremely painful situation for you (and anyone in such a situation).

I absolutely know you can still prosper, irrespective of what your parents said or did.

Paul

---

Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Hi Clearingman and Lee,

Beliefs usually feel like the absolute truth with lots of “evidence” to support them. Some beliefs, however, lie far beneath the surface and we may not be consciously aware we believe what we do. They do make sense at the time they were formed, however.

You can use some of the beliefs already suggested and you may have others like:

“I wasn't enough”
“I wasn't loveable”
“The world was a cruel place”
“I was a disappointment”
“I didn't belong in this world”

Paul

Paul is giving an example of what I described in this post. http://pstecforum.com/pf/miscellaneous-and-other-topics/forum-case-study-avoidant-personality-disorder-apd/msg4809/#msg4809

We are blind to our own issues. We are often in complete denial as a means to protect ourselves. These beliefs run so deep and we have so much going on in us emotionally we sometimes can't feel some of these issues – as of yet – but as we continue evolving we become more aware every day. Loneliness is a perfect example of this. A person can have so many negative feelings going on that they can't even realize/feel the loneliness yet even though it is at the root of their issues.

The belief “I didn't belong in this world” is also important to note how the sub can work because the phrase could be interpreted in different ways. This probably would affect your reality in many ways, from social issues to suicidal thoughts. Belief Blasters completely overrides that and takes it all out. The same goes for PQT. When you craft a proper suggestion for use with PQT you do not have to believe it at all. It can be installed in just the same (opposite) way. This is the beauty of Tim's ingenuity.

[Author]

Posts