Newcomer experience
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Jeff HardingHello everyone
I cannot express my joy and appreciation at being led to discover PSTEC. I have been suffering from depression (adrenal fatigue?) for 2 years now and i'm right fed up with it. the majority of my time is spent being unproductive and feeling rubbish and guilty about it and then feeling even less like doing things or seeing people.
I thought it was about time that i told you about my experiences so far with this startling technology.
I have been on a quest for answers for some time now and am undergoing psychotherapy and counselling, which has definitely helped so far. About a week or so ago i discovered EFT and was immediately fascinated and intrigued, and i admit the claims of fast results appealed to the “lazy” part of me that feels it wants/needs a quick fix before i completely go under from the weight of it all.
After spending hours and hours (and even more hours!) reading through the forums and any mention of PSTEC i could find on the net, i finally succumbed and had a go. It was 2.30am and i had spent the evening chatting with my older brother about life, the universe and everything, particularly PSTEC (he was very skeptical from the first word). So, i set up my laptop and my earphones by my bed and pressed play on CT track 01. I chose to focus on a time when my (mostly)-ex-boyfriend went with another woman – this was about 2 years ago. Since it happened i have never been able to visualise his face without seeing a movie in my head of him with this other person. it is always an extremely painful and distressing experience and makes me very sad, because whether or not our relationship has a chance in the future, i would still like to be able to remember him with love and happiness and not anguish and pain.
I focused on the movie and the feelings and found myself getting frustrated that i tapped out of time sometimes, but let that go and tried again to stay with the images. towards the end of the CT i found that, whereas the original movie showed him very close and being very intimate with the other person, i could now only picture him poking his head around the door, and no matter how hard i tried i couldn't get him inside the room where the other person had now faded to nothing. it was really weird and a bit scary and i was still skeptical that it would stay like that. i only did one round as it was so late, but went to sleep feeling strange, in a good way.
In the morning i tried to think about it and i found there was nothing there any more. i felt that if i had really pushed it and got fully into the old movie, i could have conjured up residual pain, but i realise that i need to click a bit more on this issue to remove it completely. that was about 5 days ago and its still gone. amazing. but i still wasn't convinced that this was really going to work for me. not really. other people, but not me! so i had another go the next day.
well, the next night actually. another one at 2am after another night chewing the fat with my brother (me raving about PSTEC and him getting impatient and staying very skeptical). This time i chose to focus on the general feeling of fear i have with me all the time, a churning in my guts every minute of every day, to a greater or lesser extent. I felt i managed to keep it focused well and went to sleep feeling ok.
The next day i consciously kept an eye out for the old feelings to pop up. every time i looked at my tummy i wondered where it had gone. i listened out for it and peeked around corners for it. after much probing and searching, i thought that perhaps i could detect a whisper of it lurking there in the background, so it goes back on my list for a couple more rounds and then this one will be conquered forever too. i know i should have stuck with it more in the first place, but the late hour didn't help and also, it took me to experience the change in the cold light of day and while going through experiences that would normally trigger the feelings to really understand what it all meant.
in the days since, i have continued to look out for it and am constantly amazed that its not there. sometimes i find it a bit freaky but exciting anyway. Next time i donned the earphones it was midday and the sun was shining and it was warm enough to get the shorts on and start on the tan. i set up in the garden with my laptop and focused on a memory that had come up when i was chatting with my brother the night before. i remember when i was very little hearing elvis come on the radio, and i ran into my mother's room where she was making the bed, and i said mummy, mummy, i know all the words to this song! she said, well that's not difficult is it. i remember feeling very deflated and a bit of a failure.
as i went through the CT, focusing on this memory, i was surprised to feel a scream building up deep in my chest and the words don't let go and you dropped me popping up in my head. It felt very distressing. I suddenly remembered a time when i was very young when a man was trying to help me over the rocks and as i grabbed his hand, i slipped and he lost his hold and i fell into the churning sea below me. i had always remembered this event, but this was the first time i felt that he had actually had a hold of me and then had lost it. I’m guessing that this has left me feeling i can't trust anyone not to let me drop, even if it appears they have got hold of me. i was so taken aback. i had not expected this, and of course now i have added that particular memory to my (ever growing) list. Oh, and i also found myself crying, not sobbing, but big blobs of tears running out of my eyes making my nose tickle (btw, is it ok to scratch and risk interrupting the CT or should i just let it tickle?).
Also wanted to ask, should i have tried with all my might to stick with the original feelings about my mum or should i have let myself change focus to this new memory?
I have also worked on my anxiety about my beautiful border collie, womble. i know she feels my pain and my anxiety and it makes me sad she has to suffer cause i am. so, i worked on the feelings i get when we meet other dogs, especially when on leads or in confined spaces. usually i get a shot of adrenaline at the sight of the other dog, then start feeling shaky and a bit sick and sweaty and can't think straight. this immediately tells womble there is danger around and she gets protective and a bit aggressive. i have been working on my inner calm but the emotional trigger response is so well practised i can't get in there quick enough to change it. but PSTEC seems to have worked yet again. i have been in a few places now where we've met other dogs, and although there was still some response, i noticed its intensity was down from a 9 to 1.5 and it also dissipated almost immediately rather than staying with me for ages, sometimes 2 hours or more. another one to do a few more rounds on and this one can be put to bed too. amazing!!!!
The main thing i have found from experiencing all this is the way i am now communicating with myself, observing the thinker, taking a step back. i have tried to “get in touch” with my “inner child” and “open up a dialogue” with myself for so long, dabbling in meditation and reiki and mindfulness etc. i have found all of these to be interesting and potentially rewarding, but my deep set reluctance and fear to change kept just getting in the way of me just doing it. the same counterproductive intentions are with me now, but just from the very few times i have tried the CTs i have had such astounding results i can hardly believe them and I’m waiting for someone to tell me its all a joke and I’ve been had, or that the feelings will suddenly come back, worse than ever cause it’s impossible for anything so simple and effective to exist. i am also acutely aware of a great resistance within myself to making changes, even when i know rationally that they are good for me. i guess because i can't picture a future that exists without all my horrible feelings, i don't really trust that there can be one. any ideas of how i can overcome this?
since starting PSTEC, through the fog of my addictions and the weight of all the years of so many fears and doubts, i can feel a core of excitement and anticipation and ecstacy that is building inside me. i know that all my dreams are there for me and i finally feel as though I’ve found a path that will take me to them. now, how do i convince those around me to try it for themselves? people's eyes glaze over when i try to explain it to them, but i so want them to benefit from it too. Any ideas?
I hope there was some benefit to me writing all this down. i am pretty much just typing as i think it, so it might be a bit rambling. i know when i first got started i had so little idea of what to do and what to expect i felt i needed to see what went through other people's minds when they first tried it. so, this is what went through mine. i hope it helps someone else.
I will continue to use this amazing and seemingly magical tool and i will continue to report my progress. thank you with all my heart for sharing this. i think i can feel the whole world starting to change! Xx
Elaine
Jeff Harding
Aloha Elaine and Mahalo for sharing your story!
Transparency in Life can not only be very freeing, but also is the sign of healing of letting go of the fears… it's our secrets that keep us imprisoned many times, so being open with others as well as ourselves increases communication and will lead to healing.
Based on your story here, I are doing very, very well… just follow Tim's instructions, persist and you will be amazed… well, I don't need to tell you that, do I? As you move along, be sure to keep reviewing the instructions and tutorials to keep the process fresh. Sometimes we listen to the instructions once, do the work and then our own personal thoughts and habits creep in and suddenly we are not doing PSTEC as it was intended. So, you have a wonderful start and to keep that momentum going, keep studying the tools.
Most of all as my girl, Beth, says, “Good Job!!!”
Now, let's see if I can cover your questions…
- Yes, you can scratch, adjust, shift, etc. during the Click Tracks (CT)… just keep coming back to focusing on the issue as he instructs.
- When you were doing the CT you asked about the other memory that came up and should you have shifted to it… it's up to you… go with what feels right. Sometimes you may finish the original targeted memory and then move to the other one in a separate CT…sometimes you go to the new memory and then back to the original one… other times, you may shift your attention to the new memory and then you are done. Just be sure to note BOTH events so that you can test each one to be sure the emotional intensity is gone for both. Also, if you have many memories flooding your mind, you can finish the CT you are working on and stop, get quiet, and note all the memories that are coming through… jot them down… rate them… look for patterns and then deal with them one by one if need be. Remember to use your conscious mind to organize and prioritize the memories and imagined events coming through… let your conscious will focus on the target and then let Tim talk to your subconscious mind and do the rest.
- On resistance… ask your sub why you resist? What or Who do you have to lose by changing? Imagine changing and then see what will be missing… what is the fear? These are called Secondary Gains, such as, if I am 100 pounds overweight and most of my friends are also very much overweight, if I lose the weight, will I lose them as friends? Do I fear that? If I change in general, will I lose family… lose my current interests for some reason… will I have to move… will I lose some guaranteed income… or maybe I feel I will not be able to continue to work where I work and now what will I do? Ask the sub… it knows exactly what the problem is. Do the Two-Step, Get Quiet and Listen… with Patience.
- It's not your job to convince anyone, in fact, it does not matter what people think of you… you have no responsibility to convince, cajole, persuade, force or make anyone do anything. You only have responsibility for your personal harmony and then, share that harmony with others by your behavior… just be You and let them see that You. Not to convince them, but just because being the True You is what you do… and you are getting closer to realizing that Truth, aren't you? So, let them find their way… our greatest method of being a True Resource to others is in being free. They will see it and, when the times right, they will get curious and move along with you.
- If you want to share PSTEC, just direct them to the website and let us do the rest. Also, you can sign up for the affiliate program and let us share the revenue with you… PSTEC Affiliate Program
[/list]Well, there you go… keep up the good work (play?)… take good care… aloha nui loa!
Jeff
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