Painful Relationship

[betsymyersPSTEC User]

Hello Everyone

I am in a long distance relationship with a man that is also my part time employer (I freelance) that makes me feel fabulous when I think he is thinking about me, missing me, etc, but I get awfully down when he doesn't get in touch or appears to be having a good time without me.

There is no way this relationship will ever be more than it is and I know after three years it is time to move on, but I feel I am addicted to him (and quite possibly the drama) and have no idea how I can start making steps to get out and ultimately become a happier person.

I first heard of PSTEC about a year ago and have bought the Accelerator package, level 1 and PSTEC Negative, but I have only felt I do any difference after a session like this morning when I was feeling particularly upset over him not contacting me, and used one of the CTs to stop what had become a bout of uncontrollable crying.

While it does indeed work for this, I need to know how I should proceed. Obviously there are lots of underlying issues here, but I don´t know how to devise a program for my issues with the CTs that will help me deal with the problem long term.

I know I have not been very specific but basically I am in a relationship that is going nowhere, does not make me happy most of the time, and I need to stop feeling so emotional about this man and extract myself from both the work and personal aspects without feeling suicidal.

I also allow my feelings about us to dictate my entire life – for example, when I am down, I cannot focus on work, I don´t keep up with everyday chores, and I am withdrawn and avoid speaking to people around me. I know this is more to do with me and deeper rooted feeling than just about him, but I do not know where to start.

Another thing I have a problem with is actually doing the CTs – I get kind of bored and restless half way through – I just want it to finish and have real trouble to do a second round even when I know the issue hasn´t really cleared with just one round. Is there anyway I could get to enjoy the process a little more?

Thank you so much for any insights.

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Betsy!

Take a look at some of the threads in this category because there are several threads dealing with this issue of getting to move on beyond a relationship that is not healthy and, for all intents and purposes, is an addictive relationship…
http://pstecforum.com/pf/relationships-and-rejection/

This post in particular has some specifics of how you can use the PSTEC Tools for something like this…
http://pstecforum.com/pf/relationships-and-rejection/need-to-forget-about-my-ex-girlfriend-not-sure-of-the-process/

As far as making the CT's “more enjoyable” this probably has to do with some resistance to change or doubt that anything can materially change… hard to say from your post.  But, a decision has to be made that this type of work is important or, dare I say, the most important work you can do.  Why?  Because it will dictate how you think, talk and take action in Life, so, in effect, it determines your future… determines your purpose… and, determines your level of JEEP in Life!

When you shift your mind model… shift your perception … not only can you see a relationship as “ideal” for you, but you will also be able to walk away from those and, to top it all off, you will not only attract, but take action on ideal relationships in business, work and your personal life.

If you get “stuck” find a practitioner to help you along to target the aspects of your mind more effectively and, in some ways, help to keep you moving ahead in the direction you desire rather than wallowing in environments and situations that, in Truth, you know you ought to not be a part of… that is, if you are interested in your Highest Good! 

Aloha!
Jeff

[betsymyersPSTEC User]

Thanks so much Jeff. I will do as you described n the other thread, and have also committed in my mind to devote at least 45 mins to the process every day.

[requinPSTEC User]

hi Betsy
I'm wondering how you are doing w/ this situation?  And have you continued to use PSTec for it?

[Author]

Posts