Social Anxiet / Emetophobia
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Pedro FerreiraHello, I don't know where to start here so I'm sorry if what I'm about to say sounds confusing. Basically, I need help.
I suffer from a weird social anxiety. Weird in the sense that I do worry a lot about what people think, etc, but on top of that I get so anxious in social situations that I always get sick to my stomach and sometimes I vomit. As you can imagine this severely cripples my life. I've tried NLP, EFT, hypnosis etc to no avail. I've been doing PSTEC on a daily basis for awhile now (4 to 5 click tracks daily; I have both free and level 1 tracks).
I can't maintain a job so paying for a therapist isn't really possible at the moment. I'm also going through a rough break up (she was the only social connection I had besides my family).
I'm also experiencing a lot of stress and pressure to fix my life quickly because my family is broke and I need to get a job, but that seems unbearable at the moment. I had to quit my previous job because I was puking almost every day because of the anxiety (I was doing ok at the job until me and my ex girlfriend broke up and my life turned upside down again lol).
I've been focusing only on the fear of vomiting because that's the one thing that would improve my life significantly.
I don't consider my fear to be a true emetophobia because I've no problem vomiting at home, the fear only happens socially, or at least I only seem to get sick socially.
Whenever I'm in a social situation my stomach goes nuts, it's like I have no control and it's programmed to do so. This has obviously leaded to isolation and limited social interactions.
I've been asked if I have a weak stomach but truth is that I can go months without vomiting or getting sick and I can take indigestion pretty well. But when it comes to social situations I just get really sick even with an empty stomach… It's frustrating.
I want to get better, really want to get better but it seems that no matter what I do I can't make myself normal.
Also, any kind of anxiety, specially mild and severe anxiety always seems to affect my stomach. Or at least I always seem to get worried about my stomach.
The problem is psychological, of that I'm sure because if I can feel well at home, I have no excuse to not feel well in any other place.
I also think this led to me developing an inferiority complex which I think is normal in this kind of situations where you aren't able to live the life you want to live.
Anyway, I've been tapping my most painful memories (situations where I've vomited publicly), imaginary triggers, situations where people made fun of me vomiting; I also divided the fear in small little fears like (fear of embarrsement, having no control, etc).
Anyway, I do feel a lot lighter in terms of negative thinking etc but I don't have social situations to “test” my fear and I'm afraid of getting into such situations.
I wasn't even able to go to a shopping mall without getting anxious a few weeks ago and now I'm comfortable in such public situations (as long as I don't have to interact with anyone at an intimate level).
But truth is I don't know if I can attribute that to PSTEC because again, I was way better than what I am now before I broke up with my ex and I was able to work at a big store and have a few friends and I did that without PSTEC…
Anyway I do have less negative thinking when in social situations, that I can testify.
I thought I was getting better until today when I had to go to the doctor and I vomited because of anxiety.
How do I tackle something like this? Should I focus on memories? Imagine situations? What's the best approach?
My thing with getting sick is like a panic attack (I used to have panic disorder) but instead of a rapid heartbeat, etc I just puke.
Some help would be appreciated.
I'm not depressed, just frustrated because I vomited today, but I’m really getting tired of this situation.
Thanks,
Pedro.EDIT: I just realized after speaking to my ex over the phone that I have a lot of pain over the break up and that that pain is sufficient for me to become sick even at home. Maybe I should click track the relationship before I can click track the vomiting problem? I got worse when we broke up so maybe there's a connection there.
PS: I received a message from my ex in the morning that caused me to get really anxious and that might have led to me losing control at the doctor. Past week I went to the doctor also and I was able to put myself together even though I was still really stressed.
Jeff Harding
Hi Pedro,
You have some excellent awareness going on in your writing, so while it's a bit difficult to assess via a forum, there are a few aspects you might consider…
- “I've been focusing only on the fear of vomiting because that's the one thing that would improve my life significantly.”
Based on some of what you mentioned in the post as well, the vomiting appears to be more of a reaction than the cause of your anxiety. So, using PSTEC on this issue, in the long run, may be akin to treating the symptom rather than the cause.
When you get to the cause, that's when perceptions shift permanently and that's what we are after, true?
Further on that point is your other thought…
“I don't consider my fear to be a true emetophobia because I've no problem vomiting at home, the fear only happens socially, or at least I only seem to get sick socially.”You know the answer is always with us… we are the Answer. It's just a matter of listening… being aware.
Remember this… *** VERY IMPORTANT***
The sub has the answers and will give them to you under the right circumstances.What are the circumstances? Well, in a nutshell, it's Harmony… harmony between our conscious and subconscious selves. And, you engender harmony with Trust and Honor.
So, as you go through this journey of healing, especially if you do it without some guidance from a practitioner, the better you become at listening, the more effective your targeting of the PSTEC tools will be.
- “The problem is psychological, of that I'm sure because if I can feel well at home, I have no excuse to not feel well in any other place.”
Ah, begin to notice the triggers… what prompts the feelings that are not J.E.E.P.
When you feel non-JEEP, ask some questions…
- When do I remember last feeling this way… and before that… and before that?
- When do I remember first feeling this way in my life?
- Who do I remember feeling this way about the first time in life?
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- Take those answers that give you specific memories and jot them down. You begin to have a list of memories that are non-JEEP. Use the CT on each one individually.
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- “I wasn't even able to go to a shopping mall without getting anxious a few weeks ago and now I'm comfortable in such public situations (as long as I don't have to interact with anyone at an intimate level).”
More clues here… don't look so much at social situations as interactions with people.
- How do you test? Find something “small” to begin with that in your mind is hard to do “in JEEP.” Sometime you truly desire to do, but is a little tough. Not real tough, but just a little.
Imagine it in your mind… what comes up. Begin to use the CT on the non-JEEP feelings when running that desires future event in your mind. Let that target of what you wish to do expose the “junk” in the way.
When the imagined event of doing it is clear and you feel you can do it, go out and give it a try. See what comes up.
- A great example of how to do this for social situations is Meghan's PSTEC Interview… check it out.
- Oh, yes, absolutely use the CT on the relationship with your ex.
Take it one step further…
Use this current experience with her to help find the issues at hand. there is a wealth of information on the issues that are in the way for you in your recent interactions with this person.
[/list]You have quite a bit of info to work with, Pedro… take time to get quiet and listen to what's coming through in communication from your sub and remember to Trust and Honor it!
Look to the cause of the vomiting issue… or, more precisely… look to the emotions that trigger the vomiting and those emotions will lead you to the cause of them… the memories, experiences, beliefs and behaviors. Shift those and you shift your perception… you will find freedom when it shifts, my friend.Aloha nui loa!
Jeff
Pedro FerreiraThanks for the quick answer Jeff. I value your kind words and knowledge a lot and would have no problem paying for a few sessions with you if I could afford it. Unfortunately, that is not the case at the moment.
Thanks for being so helpful, I already piggybacked a lot of knowledge from your answers to other users here in the forum so I have a few ideas of how to improve myself.
Anyway, Your suggestion about it being a symptom rather than the issue makes total sense to me but I don't know what because what I really get frigthened of is the possibility of vomiting… In fact, when I am able to get past that initial nausea (regain control?) in a social situation I actually become quite social and relaxed.
I'd also like your opinion on another matter if you don't mind. I've tried to click track imagined events like being at the mall, being with friends, etc. But I find that the issue affects pretty much every social situation that it would take me forever to click track them all. I think my best option here is with memories, or maybe imagine a situation will all the right triggers?
From reading your posts here in the forum I also think I was doing a few things wrong. I was focusing to much on my internal dialog during the CT's instead of my feelings and emotions. Maybe that's why I feel like I have less negative thinking? lol
BTW, I just got the Accelerators aswell as I think they might help in my situation.
I do feel a difference as I've said and I feel like the CT's are somehow working so I'm not giving up that's for sure.
Have a great Christmas by the way
Thanks,
Pedro.Aloha Pedro,
A couple notes on the fear of vomiting…
- Do not imagine being sick or work with the CT on the feelings of being sick … just work on memories or imagined events.
- If you do go down the path of dealing with issues around vomiting, try using using speakers instead of headphones… this may help reduce any nauseous feelings that might come up.
- You can though use the CT on the fear of vomiting. Just use an imagined event of you feeling the fear of vomiting in a particular situation (or you may have more than one situation where you feel it would be an issue). So, do not go into the issue of vomiting, but the anticipation of it happening.
You see, it can be helpful to isolate the particular part or aspect of the “whole.” But, when working alone, quite often, we play the entire “movie” in our minds. So, take your conscious will (this is an excellent example of using the conscious will effectively) and ONLY focus on an imagined event of fearing that you might vomit. Make sense?
[/list]Ok, enough of that pukey subject… :-X
On the subject of imagined events and trying to CT ALL OF THEM…
- Remember, as you CT any event, memory or imagined ALWAYS use your conscious will (another great use of that wonderful tool) to be aware of the communication that comes up from the sub. You will not have to CT all the memories and imagined events that are in memory. If you reach the cause then the sub will take care of the rest.
- The “cause” may include a few foundational memories, but rarely, if ever, would the foundational cause be all the experiences you have ever had (I would love to say never, but you never know… I have not experienced anyone that had to CT all memories and that would not make any sense anyway in terms of how the sub works.
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- So, using the CT with an imagined event might be all you need to clear something up. But, if not, using the CT on the imagined event will bring up the cause of the issue if it needs to be cleared. Watch for it… listen. When it comes up, CT that too.
- True, what may come up are “statements of fact” and these may be linguistic beliefs (beliefs about a “fact of life” we were told and accepted), but, quite often, they have an emotional aspect to them. Look for that first by asking questions like this, “When do I remember hearing that phrase… who do I remember hearing that from… when was the first time I remember that being true… what is the evidence in my life that it is true?” These types of questions can give you some specific experiences that might have emotional intensity to them… pull out the CT!
- Yes, use the Accelerators as instructed by Tim and recall of the “causes” will come more quickly so you can CT those.
[/list]I believe you that you are not giving up, not only because you are here on the forum, but most importantly, because you are feeling a difference and that's all we need is to know we are moving forward on the path we OUGHT to be on… what else is important than that?
Keep up the good work (play?), my friend and be patient as you play through because if you persist, the sub will take you seriously and will serve you… serve both of you!
Mahalo for your wishes and Mele Kalikimaka!!
Alooooooooooooo-HA!
Jeff- “I've been focusing only on the fear of vomiting because that's the one thing that would improve my life significantly.”
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