Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC

Quick update: I have not done any clicktracking for 7 days now. This is the first time I have had to stop down to take a break in three months. I went through a very intense 5 days of shifting.

During those 5 days I only listened to the “no more anger” track daily and also the relaxing accelerators twice a day when things were shifting at what I believed to be their strongest moments.

On the 6th day I noticed things were shifting all the time but the intensity of the process reduced dramatically and slowed down as to it's “churning” throughout my body. Everything that I had been working on for the previous week with respect to “not good enough” and all else is non-existent.

While I waited for the shifting to pass I also listened to a few recordings:

I picked up the panic attack sessions. I do not really have panic attacks but I will say these recordings at $25 are great to listen to regardless if you have panic attacks. http://pstecaudiosource.org/panic-attacks

I also listened to Peter's recordings with Jeff: http://pstecaudiosource.org/2653/depression-suicide which were also very helpful. Thank you, Peter for this.

I noticed in the recordings I listened to with “Wil” mentioned in my last post that he said he would have “intense” shifting/releasing going on and he would have to take breaks for 8-9 days. Jeff gave the recommendation to listen to the relaxing accelerators which Wil said he was not doing. There is also a good discussion about the different accelerators in the panic attack sessions.

What I picked up from these recordings is that most “normal” people only run maybe 2-3 passes of the click tracks a day on a given issue, if they even can find the time and discipline at that. I on the other hand, have been running clicktrack sessions anywhere between 2-6 hours a day across multiple feelings (sometimes hundreds of similar feelings and experiences if I am running the wrapper) for the last three months. It's no wonder why the intensity I am experiencing when releasing all of this is so strong and at times can be mentally and emotionally – physically –  overwhelming. It seems like (for me anyway) there is an immediate effect where the feeling goes way down for the most part but then right about a week later I go through a process for each one where it releases itself and right before it does it creates a strong inner struggle both mentally and physically with thoughts and feelings associated with it one last time before it goes away (dies) forever.

I suppose the only way to minimize this would be to slow down but it had never really been borderline unbearable until this last time around and I guess that's because the “not good enough” feelings I had were so strong, old and prevalent throughout my life. It seems like the bigger the belief the more intense the release and is dependent on how fast you clear it. For example on the “not good enough” feelings I spent about 6 hours in a day and then a few the next wiping those out with a load of tapping accelerator use mixed in. This may have taken a “normal” person a few weeks to clear out given they only run 2-3 tracks a day.

This last round has not completely shifted in yet but what I can say for sure is the “not good enough” and many other feelings, some of which I intended to clicktrack but haven't yet, are completely gone. It would seem as if I have hit a major tipping point that encompasses everything I have done in the last two weeks and I continue to be blown away by what what I am already experiencing as a result of this break. There are so many things that existed in my life just days ago that are gone now. I try to think of any of them and they are faint, if that and have no meaning or feelings whatsoever. I can feel the shifts as I try to recall feelings from a few hours ago and feel them just get weaker and weaker throughout the day. I have other random flashes of past memories coming into my mind throughout the day and I will think “Oh i should write that down” and then about a minute later I try to think of it and the feeling and it's already gone and I can't recall it whatsoever.

I even have a feeling of “I can't believe this, it can't really be gone” and so I am going to clicktrack that next.