Reply To: clear the weeds and then plant the fruit trees

Hi Kuteguy,

As Peter and Plus1g advised, there are quick ways to both access the feelings/memories and start dissolving some of the emotions now.

Your sub has stored all these memories, and your behavioural and emotional patterns are largely controlled by the sub.

So, do your best to go with the process, and the pieces will fall into place. It is just a matter of staying with it.

It seems that you have some resentment towards your ex-girlfriend, and that might be worth working on too. You can do this with the CTs. You can consciously decide not to be with someone, but resentment itself rarely does us any good. Getting rid of resentment, jealousy (and such) and challenging our own assumptions can be very effective.

Also, some people do SEEM to move on, but they may not actually have moved on. It is possible that your ex either misses you, is lonely or wishes for you to feel jealous. Everyone has their own programming, patterns and they may not be what they appear to be on the surface.

The bullying, I would suggest, while very traumatic for you…was not about you, what weight you were or how you looked. People who bully would likely do it to anyone, and will pick on someone who is vulnerable at that time – you might have already felt unsure of yourself as your dad was a disciplinarian, and that was clearly not what you needed. Plenty of people who look a certain way have never been bullied. You simply got unlucky at that time in your life and, sadly, these sort of experiences can set up false expectations of people.

When CTing the bullying, it might prove useful for you to revisit those memories and see them through the eyes of the person you were then. See what you saw, hear what you heard and try to evoke the feelings you had then. This can be an extremely effective way of getting rid of the  associated emotions.

I suspect you will find that, when CTing the memories, you will spot patterns in your life and these will start to change for the better. You might be surprised how quickly this happens.

Paul